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Young children have many emotions, which can sometimes come out in significant ways. Rough play, for instance, is typical for toddlers because they struggle to know how much force they use, read social cues, and control their impulses. It can also be challenging for children to determine what’s appropriate from one situation to another. However, just because it is a normal part of development doesn’t mean you should ignore the behavior. Your toddler can learn to use “gentle hands” when playing with siblings, peers, and pets with some practice.
Even when trying to be gentle, toddlers can exhibit drastic movements and sounds that can be startling to younger children and pets. Modeling calmness and gentleness can go a long way in showing your little one how to be gentle. For example, if you teach your child to be more delicate handling the family dog, pet the dog in slow, controlled motions and soft voices. Tell them, “See how I’m petting him? I am using my gentle hands. Can you use your gentle hands too?” You can help your child gently move their hands up and down and then let them try independently.
Be consistent about “gentle hands” throughout the day. If you see them being rough in another situation, redirect them to use their “gentle hands” or show them how to be soft again. Children must practice this several times before it becomes second nature. Learning this isn’t something that will happen overnight; instead, it is a series of repetitive actions that allow them to remember.
Also, be sure to reinforce and praise good behavior! Shine a spotlight on your child when you catch them doing something good. Try saying, “Good job! You are petting the dog gently! He likes that!” It lets them know when they are doing a good job and makes them feel good about what they are doing. Praise can be mighty for changing behavior.
Other tips for teaching how to use gentle hands:
- Role-play with their favorite doll or stuffed animal.
- Be a positive role model.
- Use humor!
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