I recently completed a three day communications course, and to say it blew my mind is an understatement. I have always thought of myself as a good listener, but what I learned about myself is that I am actually a great advice-giver and reassurance-provider. The art of listening requires the listener to be fully present, and, quite frankly, that is all. Sounds simple, but it is far from it. The fact is, when someone comes to me in pain or turmoil, I have a very human need to make that person feel better,say the right thing or solve the problem. All of these needs get in the way of the person feeling heard.
One evening after class, I used this technique in a conversation with my husband. Normally a man of few words, I was amazed at how much he had to say...when he wasn't being interrupted by me!! I walked away a believer in the strength of this practice to enhance connection and empathy-the most essential of ingredients for spiritual, mental and physical well-being.
