Hello spiritual friends!
I didn't realize I was empathic until later in my life when I was about 50. By then I had made a bit of a mess of things, due to my decisions that weren't in my own best interest.
I had trouble saying "no" when I was around people who wanted "yes". It was hard for me to really connect with what I truly most wanted. My natural focus seemed to be on the other people in my life. I had unconscious tapes running in around in my head saying those people were more important! Most of my creative energy was focused on others around me. Why? I realize now, that I understood them better than I understood myself.
I found myself attracted to people who were lovely -- but not really a good fit for me. I got married and into long-term relationships for all the wrong reasons and stayed in them and stayed in them. I kept finding mis-matched partners again and again, and struggled to make the relationships work. If an issue came up, I made the adjustment to maintain the harmony. Finally, I couldn't adjust or keep adjusting any longer and the resentment forced me to leave to get my sanity back.
I couldn't speak my truth to these people because I didn't know what it was until it was too late. I didn't know how to listen to my body until I was in so much anger and pain that I could no longer ignore it.
To make matters worse, I began to feel a tremendous amount shame about the fact that these relationships were failing. I decided this meant something was wrong with me. Shame chews away at your heart like a hungry insect on a leafy plant. When we feel shamed, it is even harder to find our center because we want to disown aspects of ourselves. Shame makes it difficult to talk about our experiences with others for fear of being judged. We want to hide when the most healing thing we can do is to share and let ourselves be seen.
At the age of 50, I found a meditation class and learned that there wasn't anything wrong with me. I have empathic energy and I didn't understand it. This class taught a visual, active type of meditation that included tools I could use to ground, center and bring my energy boundary in around me. I discovered my truest self and learned to listen to my body's messages. When I understood myself better, I found it was much easier to be authentic in my relationships. Now I can talk about the hard things that need to be said. I still care about others but I have learned to keep my central focus on my own needs.
I began to understand the purpose of all those relationships. These people came into my life to help me learn to find my own truth. They brought their own lessons and woundedness, and we fit together like a lock and key. We both had something to learn from each other.
Seven years ago, I met my current partner who had the capacity to take a growth inspired journey with me. Yes, we have our challenges, but we know how to solve them together and we can trust in that knowingness. Our relationship is grounded in the ability to create intimacy through emotional honesty.
Back to my story. That first meditation class I took was part of a clairvoyant development program. I learned that most empathic people are also highly intuitive. I continued to take classes in the clairvoyant program as well as advanced studies at two other clairvoyant schools here in Colorado.
Over the course of my work with clients, I have come to realize that many people want to learn about energy to feel better, just as I did. But they may not be interested in a clairvoyant development program. Maybe a better fit for them is to learn to manage their energy and find self-healing and personal growth. In 2020 I started Energetic Spiritual Academy to teach spiritual development, energetic healing tools and intuitive insight for self-growth.
Do you have a natural sense of how others are feeling? Maybe your focus is drawn to what others need. Do you have difficulty in crowds? Or trouble letting go of thoughts about someone after you have spent time with them? Not everyone will be the extreme case I was; people experience empathic energy in a number of different ways. Empathic challenges may show up in any of our relationships: parents, family, coworkers, boss or even certain friends.
If you are empathic or perhaps just curious and want to learn more, I'm offering an evening workshop on December 1st on the topic, "Embracing the Empath Within You". See the information and links below to join us for this enlightening event!
Blessings to you on your spiritual journey!