|
Are you in the cycle of shaming your kids?
Fear often controls this parenting style.
Cynthia,
Babies can’t take care of themselves so we learn to manage their lives for them. Their prefrontal cortex, the logical brain, has not even started to develop until around age 2. Until this age, their reactions are emotional, from the limbic system
The logical brain drives impulse control, planning, reasoning, logic, attention, judgment, and short-term memory. It takes until around age 25 for this part of the brain to be developed. So, don’t expect them to act like an adult when they are mentally not able to before age 25.
Imagine your baby on the changing table. Before they could roll over, you could leave them there without fear. BUT, as soon as they start gaining control over their limbs, then the worry and FEAR begins. This FEAR of whether your child will be safe and survive continues throughout their life. Most of your instinctual responses to parenting are based on your fear.
Fast forward to your children’s current ages. What are your fears now? It’s no longer rolling off of the changing table. What are you afraid will happen to them that you are trying to protect them from? It could be an immediate “danger” or a future “danger.”
It’s important to understand your fears and how much your emotions are impacting how your parent now. Your fears impact what you think, feel, and do with your kids.
In August I’ll be talking about how your fears could be causing you to use parenting strategies that increase your children’s fears and reduce their self-esteem.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on your fears. Just reply to this email and let me know what you are afraid of happening to your children. Your input will help determine what I write about in my August emails.
Happy Parenting,
Cynthia
Past topics you may have missed:
July 22 - We influence only through emotional connection
July 8 - Why are children so emotional?
July 1 - Teens need to challenge themselves
| 
