A New Reader of The Week, Lita Turner.
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A Loyal Reader of Te week, Jackie Streater.
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How was your weekend? Did you go to church you yesterday? I know you will find him and get saved just before you die right? When you get real sick right? That's a good strategy. Can you tell me exactly when that will be and how you will know? I might want to pass that info along to another fool.
Keep thinking being cool is more important. You can leave here thinking you're cool but it's going to be hot where you're going. Might want to make sure those boots are flame retardant.
He has no cell phone , but He is my favorite contact .... He has no Facebook , but He is my best friend .... He doesn't have a Twitter , but I still follow Him.... He has no internet , but we stay connected. That;s the God I know. Try him for yourself.
Come join us this Sunday at 9109 Piscataway RD Clinton, MD at 10:00 AM. Come down the middle isle toward the front on the right. That's the Holy Ghost party section. Free wine the first Sunday of every month.
What are you going to wait until Jesus sits at the foot of your bed and says " you know I'm here to get you"? Mia did make it.
Now when are you coming Ms. Bell? I am going to smoke you out one way or another lol. I'm going to have Jesus sit at the foot of the bed and say "what you do? I know you see his text". lol
 We taught each other a lot this weekend. Amazing how much she I learned from her. So much I could relate spiritually. I truly believe there is a father, a son and a holly ghost. Pop Pop loves you and I regret the couple hours I loss with you this weekend. I truly learned I should have stayed home with you. That was another lesson you taught me that I can never get that time back.
Are you just insecure or are your concerns legit? That is the question. Are you a stalker or are you just trying to prove your instincts are right? Somebody somewhere is going through this right now. What do you do about that burning your feeling in your stomach? Do you just let them keep going and wait to see if the truth comes out? Or do you cut em off now before they make a fool out of you? Do you feel like a fool and want to prove to them that you are smarter than they think? Or should you just walk away? Do you really care? Or should not care so much? Will you ruin the relationship if you continue to doubt? Have you tried to pull them back in? Does it appear that it's not working? You thought maybe if you showed them how much you care they would stop? Did that work? Or did they pull away more? Even when you try to kiss them do they turn their head? They use to want romance all the time? Now they avoid it? Then to add insult to injury their breath smells like they need to gargle with summers eve? Or their breath smells like lube from a magnum? You reach to touch her leg and she warns it's that time of the month? Before she would get mad if you didn't ignore the fact it was that time of month. It's light or I'm just spotting, remember that? You reach to touch her breast and she says their tender right now? You reach to touch his leg and he says he's tired from work? He reminds you that you just did something the day before? Did you find they got very defensive when you said something about all of this? Is that because they are guilty or because they were bothered that you were doubting them and they truly are innocent? Do you settle or do you say hell to the naw naw naw naw? What bothers your more the fact that you thought you were giving it your all or the fact that maybe you fell short? Do thoughts run through your mind of them doing to someone else what you thought they would only do to you? You know that special little thing yall share.Or maybe even they're doing even more with the other person? Are you fearful he's bigger or she's tighter? Maybe you're mistaking things or maybe your gut feeling is right. Are they really a liar or should you give them the benefit of the doubt? But you know the person and you can tell their lying? Is there timing off on everything they tell you? I'll call you back but it's hours later? I'm on the way home but that takes hours? A week later when you ask them the same thing the story is different? Can't come over like they use to? You say your coming over and they why? Got new friends and events to attend? Find reasons to hang out? Can't seem to go out of town with you now but have new reasons to go out of town without you?
Somebody somewhere is going thru this right now.
Anyone going through this?
Just remember how it starts. Conversation is where the stimulation begins. First you arouse their curiosity, then your conversation can arouse them physically, and ultimately your conversation can arouse their emotions.
Let me stop. There's a woman at work curious, wet and in love with me right now lol. My girlfriend and my wife on the side both are saying right now. You repeat yourself too much to stimulate me LMAO. You can't remember what you told either one of us 5 min ago.lol They both are on the commuter bus side by side right now reading this and don't know it. I broke the print down because they
both have old I phones and can't expand the screen lol.
I am going to leave the girlfriend alone. Sometimes the girlfriend can be worse than the wife. Let me tell you what this heffa did. I went over her house in Hyattsville, Oh did I say that? Well anyway I went to her house at 1412 Belvedere Ct. and this heffa had my favorite Tito's Vodka ice cold. ready and waiting. Well it was good the Tito's was ice cold because she had the heat on hell. I kept saying Emma, don't you think it's hot in here. Did I say Emma? Anyway, she kept pouring me drinks and pouring me drinks. Finally she said well lets go get in the bed.
Emma had a great big old comforter on the bed. She started massaging me and then she asked me who keeps texting you late like that when you're over here. She said I know it's not your wife by the way you flip the phone back over real quick face down. She said never mind it's not important. She poured me another drink and kept massaging me. Before I knew it I was out like a light. My sleep apnea made me wake suddenly. Do you believe this heffa was trying to take my thumb and put it on the home button to unlock my phone while I was sleep LMAO. You can trust your wife it's the girlfriend you better watch.
Just remember this too.
To the perpetrator of pain, do you know how you are hurting that person? If you started something and you don't mean any harm than stop, If you can't stop then get out of the first one. Face off and tell the truth. Are you waiting to see how the new is going to workout? A lot of things look good so far but some are questionable so you need more time? The stimulation is there but you're not quite sold. Too much to lose on the first end? Don't want to hurt either side? Just can't seem to stop? Want to ride the tide as long as you can slide then you'll decide?
I have the answer, come lay on my couch. $250 per hour. I am your counselor lol.
Or $250 for my private investigator service. I'll catch that Ninja trust me. I can already tell you when their making their move.
Desiree,
I figured you'd get a kick out of that LMAO.
Please don't email, call or text me, I am not talking about you. Well per say lol.
Just remember trust is a hard thing to earn a second time around.
Police and animal control on the scene
Animal control has discovered a house full of vicious dogs at 1412 Belvedere CT in Hyattsville MD. Police have decided until the owner is located the dogs will remain in place. Shhhhhhh. Don't say anything. In case the wife wants to get slick too and go over there, I hope she has a steak in her purse lol.
I told you there's your pastor on Sunday and me on Monday. I talk about what he can't. Everyone has found themselves on one side of that coin or the other at some point. It's not a good place to be.
The best way I know how to keep a person around is to make them not want to miss you or lose you. But sometime you have to let them see.
Got some friends that traveled south this weekend and got caught up in the storm. I also had some family members south that were affected. My hearts go out to you but you're still alive.
A lot of people lost lives in Haiti and other places and so for them and their families we need
to pray.
Tell someone
Last week I said I might would share why I don't mess with too many guys. It started way back with me in high school.
I got jumped by 5 or I should say 4 guys but I had 11 guys with me that didn't do a damn thing. I later found out it was over a girl I was dating. The 5th guy had just got out of jail and unbeknownst to me, he had dated the girl I was dating when he initially got locked up some years before. She didn't even know he had got out nor did she keep in contact with him while he was gone. She was just as surprised as I was and in fact he was surprised that his friends chose to do this because he knew he really didn't have ties to her anymore, hence the reason he didn't participate. What was the tragedy was the 11 with me didn't do a damn thing. Four of the 11 I didn't even know we had all just hooked up. But those four wanted to fight the ones I did know for not doing anything. It was a big mess. The one thing I learned which is what my parents always told me is watch who you hang with. The excuse was it happened too fast. I couldn't help but think that if I had 11 women with me with heels on, we might could have took em lol. Two surgeries later, one being plastic surgery (hence the reason I resemble Denzel) I learned to watch who I hang with and I stopped hanging with a crowd.
I think you get my point. I feel I would have been better represented had I been with 11 women.
I didn't use to understand why women would say I don't hang with females, all of my friends are guys. Well when I think about it now I truly understand. Between same sexes there is some haterration.
You think when this young lady joins us at Meek's tonight to celebrate her birthday, she's going to meet some new female friends? I guess we'll find out tonight but I think I already know. There are some women reading right now that already don't like her. Nice hardwood floor by the way.
I wondered for a while why women had a problem with my friend Wanda Woman (not wonder woman) but men loved her (obviously). It wasn't that they didn't like her, you really can't help but like her (extremely nice & approachable). I thought maybe because she was new to the scene to them, because she was pretty and smaller than most, intelligent, carried herself like a lady. stays to herself.dresses nice. Well, it was actually all of that too but it really, really was, the bag she carries is a Chanel, the shoes are Christian Louboutin, the hair is hers, the clothes aren't off the rack, and more importantly, the bag has something in it $$$. But now that the ladies know she is just one of the fella's that loves sports, knows more than most men about sports. Can use a tool better than most men, Works a couple jobs (realtor give her a call) to get what she has and is a great mother first, now I get "oh she's cool I see why you're friends".
Don't get the big head girl you're still Wanda Woman to me LMAO.
Below is a post I saw yesterday:
For years, I have tried my best to maintain a friendship that has always been one sided. I've ignored or set aside all the slights, the disappointments, the blatant using because I loved my friend and was loyal to them to a fault. It is a heartbreaking thing to finally come to the point where you can't keep giving and giving just to be treated like an afterthought..until they need something. Seems like for almost 20 years, I'm the only one who cared and the person who held such a high place was never worthy and could care less about me. The end of a one sided friendship...
I'm fortunate
When picking friends male or female just remember,
If they don't fight for you, they're not right for you. Value the person that taught you something not brought you something. You don't need a certain number of friends you just need friends you can be certain of. Get you a friend that keeps it 100 and has a 100 if you need it.
There's your God, your family and then a good friend if you got one. Remember the most important vitamin in any friendship is B-1.
A good friend will still be your friend when your spouse stops being your spouse.
Speaking of Spouse, you may want to apply those same principals when choosing a spouse.
Marcus Young tore up Proud Mary's Friday. Thanks to all that came out.
So many congratulations are due to my good friend Dr. Catlin. What an amazing weekend you had. Speaking engagements, awards, honors. I'm proud to be your friend. And to think I have heard you refer to me as your mentor. I don't think so lol. Keep blessing your community.
Pilot Eric Wood & Brenda Robinson the first black female Navy pilot.
Proof not to ever give up on love.
Look who was at the Box, Rocky Patel. Look at Tyrone smoking a Padron telling Rocky he's his number one fan lol. Anything for a free cigar. I asked him did he use to box. I didn't know who the little fella was. I thought he was a horse jockey or something. Smoke was so thick I couldn't tell who nobody was.
Well if it isn't Ms. Deja Blu at Meek's
Well look who was at Meek's DJ Kool
Look who else was at Meek's Jas Funk.
Tell my wife I ain't never coming home again lol. Tell her to put everything I own in a box to the left. This bartender does splits and cart wheels.
Come join us tonight at Meek's Sports Bar & Grill 3242 Old Washington RD Waldorf, MD. See PCHANG live along with my main man DJ Ed Luv and his entire crew. I know your off today but have to work tomorrow. Just stop by and have a couple. If you come I just might do cart wheels.
Don't forget you also have the Sky Bar in Waldorf. Support all the blackness. The more the merrier. Hand dancing on Tuesday.
How are you coming along with this? Have you discovered if you make an effort that you can use your businesses for everything.
News You Can Use
No Longer Majority Black, Harlem Is in Transition
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/06/nyregion/06harlem.html?mwrsm=Facebook&_r=1
Black explorers we should celebrate instead of Columbus
http://thegrio.com/2015/10/12/explorers/
The secret to love is just kindness
http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/06/happily-ever-after/372573/
Dad Sues Hospital For 5 Million And Wins, Claims Flu Shot Turned His Son Gay
http://thingsuthink.com/comedy/dad-sues-hospital-5-million-wins-claims-flu-shot-turned-son-gay/
Police Shoot Two Unarmed Men 377 Times, In Car That Had Already Crashed
http://countercurrentnews.com/2014/05/police-shoot-two-unarmed-men-377-times-in-car-that-had-already-crashed/
Teen Shoots Grandma in Church, Says: "Big Ass Hat Was Blocking My Blessings"
http://tmzhiphop.com/teen-shoots-grandma-in-church-says-big-ass-hat-was-blocking-my-blessings/
Bob Marley's Widow RITA MARLEY . . . Passed Away Last Night!!
http://mtonews.com/rest-peace-bob-marleys-wife-rita-marley-just-passed-away-last-night-may-rest-peace/
Sincerely,
Arnell Mumford
Halftime Sports & Entertainment
240-299-3494
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My Story: Bold And Breastless (How A Double Mastectomy Saved Me)
There's an old saying that states, "You never know how strong you are until you have to be." That statement is so true for Shondia, a wife and mother of two, who a few years ago, had to be the strongest in her life when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. But the way she found out was much different than what you normally here.
When did you first find out you had breast cancer?
It was December 23, 2010. I didn't have lumps, discomfort, or discharge. I had no symptoms of breast cancer. It was simply the Holy Spirit that whispered to me, "You need to get a mammogram!" I'm so thankful I was able to get one. Two weeks later, I was diagnosed with breast cancer in both breasts! In my right breast, I had stage 0. I also had two different types of cancer in my right breast, DCIS and LCIS. In my left breast, I had DCIS and I had 2 stages of cancer. One area was stage 0 and another area was stage 1A, that was near a blood vessel!
How did you feel? I feel good all over, thru and thru!!
When and why did you make the decision to have a double mastectomy? I made the decision to have a mastectomy, a week before my surgery. Since those little breasts turned on me and became cancerous, I didn't want anything else to do with them!! Both of them had to go!!
Did your relationships with your family and friends change? Yes, I found out who was for me and who wasn't (family and friends) and I'm so thankful the truth was revealed!!
Why "bold" and breastless, when many women would want to cover up their breasts after surgery? Because I wasn't going to put myself thru anything I didn't need to go thru!! I NEEDED the cancer out,
I didn't and I don't need more breasts or prosthesis! I was never depressed or angry and I never will be! I'm on a mission to inspire people that are affected by cancer. I don't even miss those little cancerous breasts! I took care of them for 36 years and surprisingly, they decided to turn on me! However, my husband is a happily married man and he's still in love with me!
The one word Shondia wants women to understand when they see her is hope. Hope that there is life after breast cancer. Hope that you can still be you and even be a better you after breast cancer surgery. Hope that women everywhere will do what they need to do to take care of their bodies.
Her organization, Bold & Breastless is planning a national speaking tour soon to help get the word out. In the meantime, you can find and interact with
Bold and Breastless on facebook.
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Events
 Monday Night Football
Please join us this Monday at Meeks sports Bar and Lounge for Monday Night Football with live entertainment provided by PCHANG and DJ Ed Luv. Come on out and enjoy some drink & food specials.
Wine Down Thursday's
Please join me at The Proud Mary each and every Thursday for Wine down Thursday's. Wine by the glass is only $3. Come and enjoy the Tiki Bar and spectacular views of the Potomac while smoking your favorite cigar and sipping your favorite wine.
Please join us at Beth Page Campground November 3-6 for the Annual Oyster Fest. Call and book you cottage and or site now. Give them my group name.
Camp Buck Buck
Please join us at The Brothers Johnson Farm this weekend. Bring your RV or tent and enjoy weekend of fun. The cost is $40 per RV $20PP. Pay when you get there.
 Coles Point Fall Edition
Please join us November 10-13. Details to follow.
Go to arnellmumford.com for a full list of events.
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To Get Your Monday Going
A girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde?" the girl said.
"Yes, it's because you're blonde," said the mommy.
The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school. Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"
"No Honey, it's because you're 24."
 A man goes into hospital for a vasectomy.
When he wakes up he's surrounded by several anxious looking doctors and asks nervously "Is there a problem?"
The head surgeon says gently, with tears in his eyes "I'm afraid so...I'm sorry but your notes got mixed up and we've given you a sex change rather than a vasectomy"
The patient is devastated and shockingly replies "Do you mean to say I'll never experience another e*ection"
The surgeon pauses for a moment then says "Well, you might, but it won't be yours".....
 Sheila stepped delicately out of the shower and slipped on the wet bathroom floor.
Instead of falling over, her legs skidded apart causing her to do the splits and suction herself to the ceramic floor tiles.
Stuck like a limpet to a ship's hull, she cried out for her husband.
"Bruce, Bruce," she yelled.
Bruce gulped down his tinny and came running in.
"Bruce, I've bloody suctioned meself to the floor," she said .
"Strewth Sheila," said Bruce as he tried to pull her up. "That's some suction, you're stuck fast girl. I'll nip across the road and get Cobba" (his mate).
Bruce and Cobba come running back and they both try to pull Sheila free.
"No way Bruce mate, we can't do it. We can't break the vacuum," said Cobba,
"Lets go to Plan B."
"Plan B?" exclaimed Bruce. "What's Plan B"?
"I go back home and get me hammer and chisel. Then we break the tiles under her and release the vacuum." Replied Cobba.
"Spot on, mate" said Bruce. "While you're doing that, I'll stay here and play with her."
"Play with her?" said Cobba, "Not exactly a good time for that, mate."
"No" Bruce replied, "But I reckon if I can get her enough, we can slide her through into the kitchen where the tiles aren't so expensive.
 .A Scottish couple took in an 18-year-old girl as a lodger.
She asked if she could have a bath, but the woman of the house told her they didn't have a bath, although if she wanted to, she could use a tin bath in front of the fire.
"Monday's the best night, when my husband goes out to darts," she said.
The girl agreed to have a bath the following Monday.
After her husband had gone to the pub for his darts match, the woman filled the bath and watched the girl get undressed.
She was surprised to see that the lass didn't have any hair down there.
She mentioned this to her husband when he came home.
He didn't believe her, so she said: "Next Monday, when you go to darts, leave a little early and wait in the back garden.
I'll leave a gap in the curtains so you can see for yourself."
So the following Monday, while the girl again got undressed, the wife asked: "Do you shave?"
"No," replied the girl. "I've just never grown any hair down there. Do you have hair?"
"Oh, yes," said the woman, and she pulled up her nightdress and showed the girl that she was really generously endowed in the hair department.
The girl finished her bath and went to bed.
Later that night, when the husband came in, the wife asked him, "Did you see it?" "Yes," he said, "but why the hell did you have to show her yours."
"Why ever are you worried about that?" she said. "You've seen it often enough before."
"I know," he said.... "but the frickin; darts team hadn't!" Wife's Come Back"
One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife "Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off your butt!"
His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.
The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. "What the heck is this??" he said to himself as a little dust cloud appeared when he shook them out.
"April," he
hollered into the bathroom, "why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?"
She replied with a snicker, "It's not talcum powder...It's Miracle Grow!"
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