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Assertive Engagement Newsletter
December 2022
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Whew! Is it just us or has this year lasted 18 months?
When we think about all the tough, sad, challenging things we've gone through this year we feel like we're limping into 2023.
This is precisely the time to practice mindfulness and gratitude. After reflecting on the difficulties we experienced (they happened, they're real and shouldn't be diminished), we take a moment to bring to mind all of the wonderful and joyous things that happened in 2022 and focus on gratitude.
We are grateful that the Assertive Engagement initiative turned 10 years old this year! 🎉
We are grateful for our facilitation team who encourage each other to grow and challenge ourselves, and always notices when we're having a great hair day.
We are grateful for the 245 participants in our virtual workshops in this year who shared their stories and reflections with humor and vulnerability and who get up each day and do life changing work in our community.
We are grateful for our community partners who supported our participants and kept the work going while they stepped away to learn with us.
We are grateful for the members of our Community of Ongoing Practice (COOP) who show up each month as their full, fun selves and engage in continuous learning.
Lastly, we have gratitude for all of you who take the time to read our newsletter each month and keep a connection to Assertive Engagement, we appreciate you!
The Assertive Engagement Team,
- Helen & Rhea
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In Assertive Engagement we talk about mindfulness as being fully aware of your reality in the present moment without judgement.
You are using reflections for yourself, noticing what is happening in your mind, in your body, and in the world around you. It's not about changing anything. Mindfulness is simply about being aware. It could look like taking a few moments to name the concrete things you can see, hear, feel, and think in the present moment.
One of the benefits to practicing mindfulness is to pull ourselves out of dwelling on things that have gone wrong in the past or about things that might happen in the future. It is a valuable practice to bring our mind to the present and focus on what is happening in the now.
When we pair mindfulness with gratitude, it acts as a buffer against unhelpful negative thoughts, and benefits our mental and physical well being (see the resources below for more information on the research). By naming things we are grateful for, we are noticing what's good in our life. This adds balance when experiencing life's difficulties.
Gratitude is not toxic positivity. It's not a denial of the very real struggles, pain, and challenges that make up the human existence. It is, however, a way to navigate those struggles while recognizing all the wonderful parts of life.
Like anything, mindfulness and gratitude become easier to incorporate into your daily life the more you practice. Here are a few exercises to get started.
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From Amanda E. White, LPC
IG @therapyforwomen
Our "mind" is actually composed of two distinct parts: the part that is narrating the world around us and actively thinking, and the part that is listening to that voice.
We all have both parts, though it is common to overly identify with the part of us that is actively thinking, which can make it difficult to differentiate between our thoughts, emotions, and reactions.
Mindfulness is the first step in learning to notice our physiological body responses, thoughts, and emotions in order to be more self-aware.
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When you take a bath or shower, spend a few moments engaging your senses.
Smell your soap, notice the temperature of the water, feel the texture of your loofah or washcloth, and give your scalp a massage as you shampoo.
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While you eat, try to slow down and notice the texture and taste of your food. Also notice the feeling of fullness in your stomach as you eat. | | |
When you brush your teeth, take time to notice the taste of the toothpaste against your tongue, the foam in your mouth, the texture of the bristles scrubbing your teeth. | | |
During any household chore, see if you can notice all of the physical sensations involved. For example, if you are doing dishes, you may notice the smell of the soap, or how hard you have to scrub to get them clean. | | |
Go on a mindful walk or hike. Notice the sounds of different creatures, the sight and smell of your surroundings, the feeling of the air on your skin, and how your body feels while moving. | | |
Gratitude Exercises
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Gratitude Reminder: Set a daily reminder on your phone. When it goes off, see if you can find three things you are grateful for around you.
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Gratitude Journal: Each day write down 3-10 things you are grateful for that day.
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Gratitude Jar: Write down as many things that you can think of that you are grateful for on little slips of paper and put them in a jar. When you are having a hard day, pull a few out and read them. As you think of new things, add them to the jar.
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We held our AE Community of Ongoing Practice last week and we asked what worked for them in the last year and this is what we heard:
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"AE in managing interpersonal conflict- no defensiveness!"
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"AE in setting healthy boundaries without guilt"
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"Identifying where is my comfort zone, challenge zone and danger zone are. Not mixing danger and challenge together" | |
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"It's better to be real than perfect!!"
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"Asking for permission to give suggestions and information" | |
"Keeping hope alive - remembering hope especially when things feel hard" | | |
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Kiss Your Brian: The Science of Gratitude | Psychology researcher and former middle school teacher Christina Costa shares how practicing gratitude improved mental and physical well-being while being treated for brain cancer in this brief TEDx Talk. | |
Why Giving Really is Better than Receiving
| This article from the Cleveland Clinic discusses the science behind the health benefits of giving to others. That might be gifts, acts of service, or simply giving your time. | |
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Songs of Hope
We ask each of our training cohorts to share songs that give them hope. This is our Year Wrapped Playlist.
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Question of the Month
Can you name 5 things you are grateful for right now?
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December Poll
What's a way you will practice mindfulness and/or gratitude today?
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November Poll Results!
It looks like most of you are grateful for the friendships in your life! Nearly a third of you talk over a difficult decision with a trusted friend before finally making your choice.
About 1 in 5 of you practice mindfulness and pay attention to how your body feels when you think about each option.
There are some sleepless nights for 16% of you who analyze and worry about your options.
We didn't have anyone leave it totally up to chance and flip a coin.
Thank you to everyone who responded!
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February
- Day 1 Tuesday, February 7th, 9am - 2pm
- Day 2 Thursday, February 9th, 9am - 2pm
- Day 3 Tuesday, February 14th, 9am - 2pm
- Day 4 Thursday, February 16th, 9am - 2pm
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Upcoming virtual training opportunities
March
- Day 1 Tuesday, March 7th, 9am - 2pm
- Day 2 Thursday, March 9th, 9am - 2pm
- Day 3 Tuesday, March 14th, 9am - 2pm
- Day 4 Thursday, March 16th, 9am - 2pm
Registration opens January 23rd
(via this newsletter at approximately 11 am)
**Please note staff must be able to attend all the training sessions to complete the training. Space is limited.**
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Upcoming Community of Ongoing Practice Sessions
February 23
2:30 p.m. - 4:00 p.m.
March 23
2:30 p.m. - 4:00 p.m.
Sign up to join our community of practice email list and get updates on future programming and events.
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What is a Community of Ongoing Practice?
A group of people who share a common interest and interact often to learn from each other and advance their work.
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Video Module Update
The Assertive Engagement 101 self-paced Video Module Series is well underway. We have completed creation of the curriculum, scripts, and graphics. The project is now moving into the contracting and production phase.
We will continue to provide updates on this project in the coming months.
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