“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”

-Carl Rogers

This 20-minute video connects Unconditional Positive Regard with Growth Mindset, Non-Violent Communication, and Self-Compassion - all core concepts we talk about in Assertive Engagement. Michelle Charfen uses the framework of trying (and sometimes failing) to use positive parenting as an example of how you can change your mindset and practice self-acceptance through consistency and practice.

"I'm never going to be able to give my kids unconditional positive regard unless I give it to myself."

-Michelle Charfen

One of the main takeaways from this video is that using Unconditional Positive Regard for others and yourself takes work and practice. One strategy named in the video is keeping a non-judgmental reflection journal. Thinking, after the fact, about situations that came up where you had judgments or negative thoughts, and reframing them. Soon the practice of pausing and reframing could happen in the moment.

No one is expected to start something and execute it perfectly at first, those judgments are going to creep in! Staying conscious of your thoughts, recognizing them, and working to make a shift will have an impact over time.

We believe in AE that each person is an expert in their own self. They are the only one who knows the complete story of their life and how they got to be where they are currently.

That might mean that you don't agree with someone's actions. Maybe you think what they're doing is foolish or harmful. That might be true if you apply their actions to your own life and circumstances, but you have no way of knowing what they've been through and why they are doing the things they do.

You do not have to agree with what a person does to see them as worthy or to offer them empathy, acceptance and support.

This article on Liberatory Harm Reduction by Shira Hassan discusses the stigma and judgment people with "risky behaviors" face when they seek services. Hassan writes "Survivors whose survival strategies have been deemed morally wrong or criminal are made even more vulnerable by healers and health care providers who lack a complex trauma analysis. We have become targets of a system that cannot make sense of us and seeks only to control us."

This movement aims to make the interpersonal act of Unconditional Positive Regard systemic. From the book Saving Our Own Lives: A Liberatory Practice of Harm Reduction:

"Liberatory Harm Reductionists support each other and our communities without judgment, stigma, or coercion, and we do not force others to change. We envision a world without racism, capitalism, patriarchy, misogyny, ableism, transphobia, policing, surveillance, and other systems of violence. Liberatory Harm Reduction is true self-determination and total body autonomy."

Practicing Unconditional Positive Regard can be challenging. It can be difficult to quiet judgments about the way other people live their lives, or about what we say and do ourselves. The good news is, practice makes better (there is no perfect). The more your engage in recognizing your own judgments, the more you'll be able to move past them in the moment and offer empathy to yourself and others. It might look messy at times and you may stumble, so remember to give grace to yourself and others along the way.

Trillions of cells exist within the human body. There used to be the belief that the human body completely regenerates itself every 7 years which isn’t entirely true. Approximately 330 billion cells are replaced daily. This perpetual state of change and regeneration occurs at varying intervals, ranging from days to some that only happen once in a lifetime. Those are rare compared to the vast majority of cells in the body.

Our cells tirelessly work to adapt and renew in processes known as neurogenesis and neuroplasticity. Neurogenesis involves the formation of new neurons, a process that challenges the traditional belief that the brain cannot generate new neurons after a certain age. Neuroplasticity refers to the brain's remarkable ability to reorganize itself by creating new connections. While neurogenesis focuses on the birth of neurons, neuroplasticity emphasizes the brain's adaptability through the rewiring of existing connections.

One of the most powerful catalysts for neuroregeneration is novelty. The brain thrives on new stimulating experiences, which helps it forge new neural connections. Research suggests exposing the brain to novel stimuli can significantly enhance cognitive function. The more unusual the experience, the more the brain perks up and pays attention. 

A lot of our daily lives are built on repetition or habits which act as predictable patterns of behaviors. This causes our bodies to develop muscle memory so actions take place before they fully register in our conscious mind. The brain is an organ that, like a muscle, thrives when it is getting a new kind of workout. The interwebs of the brain’s neural networks weaken or even disappear over time if connections are not made or are ignored. Therefore, embracing novelty not only serves as a potential source of pleasure but also optimizes brain health.

One simple way to amplify neuroregeneration and neuroplasticity involves being open to try something new.

Even a variation on familiar activities can make a difference.

• Music fans can spend time listening to different genres of music, or music in different languages.
• Learning how to play a new instrument is another great source of novelty. If you already play percussion, try string instruments or brass instruments.
• Take the time to learn another language - the more different from your own the better.
• Find your inner artist! If you already practice creativity, try creating in a different medium.
• If there is a type of exercise you normally do, try something that incorporates very different movements.
• If you see a food you haven’t tried before, give it a chance to be experienced.
• Visit new places when the opportunity arises and have conversations with different people whose life experiences differ from your own.

It takes courage to do new things and give the experience a chance to sink in. Incorporating new experiences into our lives is a journey toward self regeneration. We are continually renewing ourselves and much of this process unfolds unconsciously, but science has illuminated avenues to actively enhance neural connections for the betterment of brain health and functionality. By infusing our lives with novelty, embracing music, art, nature, and movement, we embark on a path of neural rejuvenation. Stay curious, stay active, and let the power of neurogenesis unlock your brain's full potential!

Last week we celebrated the legacy of Martin Luther King Jr. and many of you participated in a National Day of Service in his honor. Maybe some of you were snowed in or without power and someone came to your aid.

We can connect and support each other throughout the year by volunteering and practicing Community Care.

Not sure where to start? Blanchett House is looking for volunteers everyday!

If your organization needs volunteers, let us know at aeinfo@multco.us and we will help you spread the word in our newsletter!



It's almost February and that means celebrating Black History and the cultural contributions of Black folks in the past and at present. Here are some local ways to get involved in the next month.

Start by checking out the lineup for the 2024 Portland Jazz Festival which celebrates the truly American art form of jazz music. It takes place across 30+ venues in Portland from February 16 - March 2.

Portland Art Museum is featuring Black Artists of Oregon in an exhibit running until March 17, 2024.

"Beginning in the 1880s and spanning through today, Black Artists of Oregon captures the Black diasporic experiences particular to the Pacific Northwest with 69 artists and over 200 objects. Artists represented in the exhibition will include Thelma Johnson Streat, Al Goldsby, Charlotte Lewis, Isaka Shamsud-Din, Ralph Chessé, Charles Tatum, Arvie Smith, Shedrich Williames, Harrison Branch, Bobby Fouther, and Carrie Mae Weems, among others."

"Rock of Ages," 1976, oil, gold leaf, and mirror on canvas, by Isaka Shamsud-Din, is on display at the

Portland Art Museum

1219 SW Park Ave

Portland, OR 97205

Which unconditional positive regard statement can you commit to using when you find judgment about someone else's life or choices come up for you?

https://www.multco.us/assertive-engagement