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Be The Spark
August, 2020
Quote of the month

"You can't 
use up creativity. 
The more you use, the 
more you 

by Maya Angelou, American poet

My Services
Pre-Marital Counseling
Certified Prepare/Enrich Program Facilitator
Marital Counseling
Infidelity Issues
Self-Esteem Support
Problem-Solving Support
Renew Marital Excitement
Family counseling

Divorce Support
Redefining Life Purpose
Grief/Loss Support


I welcome the opportunity to help you work through current issues and to look at your future with a sense of hope and purpose.


Masters Degree - Applied Psychology from Seton Hall University


Post-Masters Degree-Marriage and Family Therapy from Seton Hall University


Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist


Private Practice 

since 2008


Married over 30 years


Mother of 2 

young-adult daughters 


Lived in Indiana, 

New Jersey and Texas


Passionate about 

what I do


We are all getting tired of being at home and wearing masks and not being able to see our friends and family. Some of us have experienced the death of someone close to us during this COVID situation as well. Some of us have had other illnesses occur during this period. Some of us have lost our jobs during these months. 

My heart and prayers go out to those who are suffering with heart-heavy circumstances right now. But my heart also believes in the spirit of the human race and the fortitude to get through this....just as we have gotten through many other things in our life.

Read below some ideas of how to choose if we want to be the force that blows the candle out or can we be the force that lights the candle again for ourselves and others? We can choose this you know.

As always, please pass along this information to anyone you feel may benefit from it's content.

Maryellen Dabal, MA, LMFT
305 Miron Drive
Southlake, TX 76092
Missed previous newsletters??
Go to www.dabalmft.com.  Click on the newsletters link at the bottom of the home page. Enjoy.....
From The Positive Perspective.......
Situation: COVID has hit and you have lost your job. Take a deep breath. Hopefully this is a situation where you can receive unemployment for a while as you evaluate life. Hopefully you have some savings to lean on as you readjust. You can cut down on spending or possibly sell some things you don't need. Bottom line, evaluate what you really need and scale down the things you do not. 

Also, could this be a temporary situation or is this permanent? Find out before you see this as an extreme. Light the candle by looking positively at the situation in any way you can. Is this the time to change careers? Is this the time to follow your passion in some way? Have you been talking about doing something different anyway? Now could be the time to take that step. 

You can also blow out the candle by focusing on what you have lost, not looking at options to move forward and not being a good example for those who look up to you. What would you want your child to do? What would you want your parent to do? You have the chance to be a beacon of hope for someone else.

Situation: COVID has hit and you have to work from home AND be a teacher to your kids. Again, take a deep breath. Look at what you can control first. Can I talk to my boss and get flexible working hours? What can my kids do on their own? How can I teach some independence to my kids, depending on their age of course? 

Light the candle by looking at your resources and seeing what your options are....and there are always options. Sometimes we have to look a little harder to find them, but they are there. 

Or we can blow the candle out and feel hopeless and show our kids that we lack the skills to problem solve. Now, in a sad moment, of course we can be frustrated and need some time to cool off. But tell your spouse or your kids of your sadness. Let them know it is OK to be frustrated, but the road does not stop there. We need to push through to a solution.

I have only shown 2 scenarios above but the skills can be used in any current situation. Generally, look at and find what you can control. Use that to work toward a solution to whatever the challenge is. I had an on-line situation with a major retailer the other day and, as trivial as the situation really was, I allowed it to get to me and I was so frustrated. I closed my laptop, did something else productive for an hour (went to my pool and got a little Vitamin D) and then came back and attacked the situation with an appropriate solution. Stepping away is fine to do. But don't forget to come back.

A clear mind can think much better than a frustrated one. Being the spark for yourself or someone else takes some work but it can have amazing results.
Stay well and have an amazing month.

Try to look at the situations in life
From the Positive Perspective
and we can work through anything!
I welcome feedback regarding the newsletter or questions about my practice.  I can be reached at maryellen@dabalmft.com.  I cannot, however, give advice through email. For more information on my practice please visit my website: www.dabalmft.com

I wish you well...

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