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“We have a chance to do something extraordinary. As we head out of this pandemic we can change the world. Create a world of love. A world where we are kind to each other. A world were we are kind no matter what class, race, sexual orientation, what religion or lack of or what job we have. A world we don't judge those at the food bank because that may be us if things were just slightly different. Let love and kindness be our road map.”
―  Johnny Corn
Even in the best of times (read: when we’re not in the middle of a global pandemic) “How are you doing?” is more likely to be a conversation stopper than a conversation starter, the journalist and author  Warren Berger  argues in  The Book of Beautiful Questions . As Berger notes, “A rote question often evokes a rote answer followed by an echo of the original rote question (“How are you?” “Fine. How are you?”)”

In this challenging moment, let’s move beyond “how are you doing?” and get more serious about the questions we’re asking our colleagues, friends, and family. It’s not just a matter of enlivening phone, text and Zoom chats (after all, there are  all kinds of filters  for that). It’s a matter of keeping our relationships strong and solvent during what may be a long stretch of healthy spacing ahead of us.

Here are some sample questions for getting beyond “How are you?”
  • How are you taking care of yourself today?

  • What part of your shelter-in-place residence (home quarantine) have you come to appreciate the most?

  • What surprising thing have you been stocking up on (that isn’t toilet paper)?

  • What’s a story – from a book, a movie, an article, a conversation – that you’ve been gripped by recently? Why did it capture you?

  • What habit have you started, or broken, during the quarantine?

  • Which specific place in your community are you most looking forward to visiting once this is all over?

  • What’s the easiest part about the quarantine?

  • What are some things you have realized that you don’t really need?

  • What’s something you own that feels useful?

  • What is your Covid-19 nickname/alter-ego?

  • What problem—either yours, or something more global —do you wish you could solve?

Written By  Elizabeth Weingarten
Senior associate, ideas42


This project is supported with the assistance of Supporting Effective Instruction, Title II, Part A, federal funds from the Alaska Department of Education & Early Development. However, these contents do not necessarily represent the policy of the Department of Education & Early Development, nor endorsement by the Federal Government.