How to be a Good Ally to Disabled People
by Emily Kibler | March 27, 2024
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What is an Ally?
An ally is a person who supports the rights of a marginalized group without being a member of the group. This includes family, friends, and any other individual who devotes their time and efforts to understanding and promoting the experiences of people in the group.
While there are allies for all marginalized identities, there are differences in the ways that communities interact with those who support them.
Educate and Re-educate Yourself
The first step to becoming a good ally for any community is to educate yourself about the struggles and barriers that the community faces. Often, the best way to do this is to learn from those around you who are a part of this community. While it isn't recommended to ask unsolicited personal questions, you might be surprised how much you can learn by actively listening to disabled people and asking relevant follow-up questions.
The disability community is very vast and contains several subcommunities (physical disability, neurodiversity, mental illness, developmental disability, and many more), so allies, as well as people within the community, need to learn from people across disability categories. It is a mistake to assume that the concerns of one group are the same as another.
Because the community is diverse and perceptions are often changing, education is a continuous process. This may seem daunting, but the silver lining is that no one is an expert and everyone has something to learn. As long as you keep an open mind and listen more than you speak, you will always be moving in the right direction.
Being an Ally as a Parent or Family Member
Parents, children, and other family members have an important place as allies to the disability community. Often, family members are aware of the barriers that their loved one has faced and have had to fight for their rights. This unique perspective can be very productive for promoting disability rights; however, it can also be detrimental.
As with all other allies, the expectation is for those without disabilities to amplify the voices of those who can communicate for themselves. This may be difficult for family members as they may feel like they have first-hand experience; however, it is impossible to fully understand what it is like to be disabled without lived experience.
There is one caveat to this statement and that is for parents of disabled individuals who cannot communicate for themselves (note: that this does not include individuals who may not be able to speak but have found other ways to communicate). While these parents may not be a part of the community and are still asked to recognize their privilege, they are encouraged to share the barriers faced by their children.
Takeaways and Resources
Learning to be the best ally you can be is a process and it is normal to make mistakes. As long as you listen to and learn from people with lived experience and keep your mind open to new perspectives, you will be on track.
Remember that as an ally, you are a guest in the community. You are welcome to be part of conversations related to the welfare of disabled people but remember that your perspective is second to those with lived experience.
To read a more in-depth discussion about allyship in the disability community, please check out the articles below!
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