FOUR WEEKS TO GO
Just a little surprised at the number of friends, families and coworkers who have fallen on the ‘he’s stupid’ side of the ‘is he brave or stupid?’ question. They could be right, I could be crazy, (‘but it just might be a lunatic you’re looking for’-to quote a line from Billy Joel).
The skepticism minimally impacts my confidence level as I prepare for my first Half-Marathon, but just to be sure, I did something about it: I got new socks. Nothing breeds confidence like new socks.
I think we all have doubts about our ability, or make that our capability, of accomplishing challenges we set for ourselves. When someone else sets a goal, like the boss, we can at least complain about it. How do you complain about a goal you set for yourself? I guess you can’t: you lost that right/privilege when you set it.
That’s why, I believe, we often set goals for ourselves that are safe, or more easily accomplished when compared to the goals that others set for us. So, for me, this goofy goal of running a half-marathon might be more about setting a challenge for myself that stretches me, rather than about being crazy.
Am I a little concerned about finishing 13.1 miles? Yes. Is it adding stress to my otherwise stress-free existence? Absolutely. Do I doubt myself as I go through my training days? Wouldn’t you?
Then what’s the real ‘Why’ for me? Why am I running a distance I have never run before? Am I Brave or Stupid? After some reflection, I don't know yet, but I have two good reasons.
First, doubters have always driven me further. Thank goodness for doubters! My life has been highlighted (or lowlighted) by a series of people doubting me. Sure, I’ve had a lot of supporters as well, but someone spitting in your face creates more energy than a hug.
Chances are, if you look at your own history, you’ll find some doubters there, and chances are they fueled your drive to succeed in a way your huggers could not.
Second, one of the things we could all do a little better, I think, is challenge ourselves. It's just hard to do. That’s what I am doing. I am simply challenging myself to stay off the couch. I am challenging myself to see how good I can be when I am challenged.
But, I have to admit, maybe I wanted to do something that would bring the doubters out? A longtime friend who knows who he is, when he learned that ‘I run because I can’ responded with ‘I don’t run because I can.’ (Let it sink in for a minute). Anyway, I’m writing this after two weeks of training and there are four weeks to go. I’m not hurting, yet. I’m not backing out, yet. And I’m not letting the doubters get to me, yet. Thanks, Billy Joel?
I have been reminded that, in general, confidence can be fleeting. When it comes to half-marathon training, confidence is fleeting. One of the t-shirts I observed at a Falmouth Road Race said, “30 days ago, this seemed like a good idea.” That’s how I felt at the start of the week. This half-marathon idea seemed ok in August, but now that I am in the intense training period, I’ve lost a little confidence, thinking this might be time to walk away and fake a more serious injury to save face?
One of the concepts of goal achievement, not THE concept, but a fairly well-known concept, is to tell someone about your goal after you set it. It helps you in moments of doubt. I did. I told a lot of people that I was running a half-marathon. It helped me in moments of doubt. Like this week.
THREE WEEKS TO GO:
This week I trained and ran more miles than any week in my life, and I am not in an ice tub and I can still walk. I’m afraid when I tell you how much I ran this week, you will think I am making it up.
But most of you know that goals and I have a long relationship. Others know that working my ass off is second nature to me, so when you combine those two you get, are you ready? 28 Miles. 8 Miles on Monday. 4 Miles on Wednesday. 6 Miles on Friday and a whopping, and I mean whopping 10 miles on Sunday.
Not only was the week the most miles I’ve ever run in a week, Sunday at 10 miles was the most at one time. It is a long freaking way. It took 2 hours, 7 minutes, and 40 seconds. I think we all doubt ourselves from time to time. Confidence can be fleeting. When it comes to half-marathon training, confidence is fleeting. But running 28 miles in a week can do a lot for your confidence, just as setting a goal and working your ass off can do a lot for your confidence.
All week I was thinking to myself that once Sunday hits I am home free. Sunday is the 12-mile day of my half-marathon training plan. Yep, the plan is to run by Holden Light & Power 5 miles away, run another mile and then turn around and run home.
Next Sunday morning. 6 am. Just me and my shadow. Once I have the 12-mile day out of the way, I am home free until I get to Hampton Beach to run the race. The last two weeks before the half-marathon, I am just keeping loose, conserving energy, hydrating, foam rolling and worrying my ass off. Pretty simple.
Now that I am almost four weeks into the training plan for this race, meaning I’ve had four weeks to think about it, a couple of surprises have floated to the top on my mind.
Surprise #1: I don’t know if ‘physical achievement’ is something I’ve thought about much since my 20’s. I have to admit when I am running on Sunday mornings and a millennial or five passes me and smiles, I want to shout, “I’ve already been running for 8 miles that’s why I look like crap.”
Surprise #2: The number of skeptics has declined. The side of the boat labeled ‘Brave’ now has more residents than the other side marked ‘Stupid’. I am still in the middle. Next week my long run will be 12 miles, and that could be BOTH a brave and stupid day. Share your goals. Work hard. Get your confidence back if it is fleeting.
(to be continued)
