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PERSONAL GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT
I’m so excited to be sharing with you my “Promise of 7” each month. There are 7 promises each person can make to build a better life for themselves and those that depend on you. If you have missed any of the past 7 promises, go to my website: DodgeDevelopment.com and all the articles are posted for you to read and share. This month I am addressing the sixth “Promise of 7.”
Promise You Will Do Your BEST
Is the 6th Promise of “The Promise of 7”
“The promise to do your best” means trying as hard as you can to do something, according to Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English. The definition in the Cambridge Dictionary is trying as hard as possible. “If you do your best or try your best to do something, you try as hard as you can to do it, or do it as well as you can,” according to Collins. Ultimately though, you will define what doing your best is. It’s not up to somebody else to label what your ultimate effort is or isn’t. You can only characterize that by knowing the circumstances and your own limitations.
Imagine the last time you said you would do your best. What thoughts did you have? How did you feel? How did your body react? Were you overcome with nervous anxiety? Or did you feel inspired to get started and focused? Was it a statement of “whatever happens, happens” setting a mediocre bar for the outcome?
Then, what happened when you started doing it? What was the outcome like?
Imposed Limitations
We internalize the descriptions we give ourselves. I do it, and you probably do too. You tell yourself that you are a “chef,” a “housewife,” a “student.” That you’re “impulsive,” “generous,” “happy.” As part of this, you even make broad generalizations about your abilities: “I’m good at this,” and “I’m bad at this. In restricting your worth to these social constructs, you guarantee that you’ll never become anything more. There’s not a single part of you, your social structure, or your personal traits that you can’t change (if you wanted to). Your self-concept is a self-imposed limitation. It prevents you from ever leaving your comfort zone and becoming someone else. This is important to note because putting imposed limitations on what you can and can’t do will affect your ability to do your best with tasks outside of your comfort zone. Doing your best doesn’t mean doing your best at only the things you’re familiar with—it means in all endeavors.
Stretch Your Skillset
The thought of doing your best usually comes when things get difficult or uncertain. There are loads of them in work and life. It could be that you are not confident in what you do. Or it might motivate you to get better at what you do or not give up when things get tough. The phrase conveys lots of messages and meanings.
Whether you might be a beginner or pro, doing your best will stretch your skillset to get better. Use it as your mantra and create a ritual for it before starting the task at hand. Your cells will conspire to work for you. When you keep doing your best, your best will get better. By doing your best, the habits of misusing your word, taking things personally, and making assumptions will become weaker and less frequent with time— but don’t expect that you will always be able to be impeccable with your word. A person’s habits are too strong and too firmly rooted in one’s mind. Don’t expect that you will never take anything personally. Don’t expect that you will never make another assumption. But you can certainly do your best.
It might be your first time doing the work. The expectation could be too high. For example, your client expects that you will solve their staff conflict issues once and for all. The first time you come across a problem, you’re not sure how to solve it. Or a project you have been working on for years seems to go nowhere. You have put lots of effort into it every day. You feel less motivated as you haven’t seen the improvements you thought you would have after all these years. You might be about to give up. But in both situations, you think, I’ll do my best because that’s what I expect from myself. That’s the mindset and approach you should have every day.
“If you just do your best, there is no way you can judge yourself. And if you don’t judge yourself there is no way you are going to suffer from guilt, blame, and self-punishment.”
Accept You Might Fail
By telling yourself that you’ll do your best, you accept that you might fail. In other words, it means letting go of control. Everything is alive and changing all the time, so your best will sometimes be high quality, and other times it will not be as good. When you wake up refreshed and energized in the morning, your best will be better than when you are tired at night. Your best will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick; it will depend on whether you are feeling wonderful and happy, or angry and upset.
By doing your best in all endeavors, you are going to live your life with intent and purpose. You’ll be productive and able to give more to your family. If you act simply because that’s your nature, not expecting a reward, you will find that you enjoy each and every action you do, and that habit will become engrained in your persona. It doesn’t mean you have to be perfect, in fact perfection shouldn’t even be in the equation. Sometimes we think about the end goal so much that we get overwhelmed, stressed out and tired. “How am I going to get there? I’m running out of time It’s too late”, etc. Whenever that stress overtakes you, remind yourself, "today I am going to give my best effort and I’m going to leave it all out there.” Don’t focus on the big picture. Focus on the task at hand, on the today. Concentrate on that one single thing that you need to do today to help you get closer to that goal. When you do it, be grateful for the opportunity to try doing your best and leave no room for regrets and “what ifs.” Instead, it will leave a strong sense of accomplishment and the energy to get back at it the next day.
Develop the Mindset
Doing your best is putting your best foot forward based on the set of circumstances put in front of you, not because you’re trying to please other people. Remember, if you act because you must, then there’s no way you are going to do your best. But when you do your best because it makes you happy and you enjoy it, then “your best” is going to get better and better.
This is a great habit and mindset to have. Always giving it your all becomes an engrained ritual, a belief like anything else you feel strongly about. Remember, everything you have ever learned to do is by repetition. You learned to write, drive even walk by repetition. If you always do your best, you will become a master at it too, just like all your other skills. It doesn’t happen overnight, and like any other acquired skill, it can be a difficult mindset to incorporate at first. But persistence and a conscience effort to habituate that mentality will transform your life and your success. Peace of mind is what doing your best has to offer, whether you succeed or fail. If you have done your best and your inner Judge tries to judge you, you’ve got the answer: “I did my best.” There are no regrets. That is why we always do our best. It is not an easy thought process to keep, but in the end, it really will set you free.
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