Volume 9 Number 2 | Winter 2025 | |
Uncertain: The Wisdom and Wonder of Being Unsure | |
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By Maggie Jackson
(A book review by Terri C. Pilarski, M.Div., MSW)
The concept of the emotional system, as defined in Bowen theory…assumes that the human is a product of evolution and related to all of life. As a product of evolution, human behavior in all of its complexity retains the biological processes involved in the evolutionary line leading to Homo sapiens.
The Family Emotional System, edited by Robert J. Noone and Daniel V. Papero (9)
Bowen theory, as a natural systems theory, considers human relationships and the emotional system in those relationships functioning in a similar way that all species function. From ant colonies to wolf packs to human families, there are similar systemic processes formed from the evolutionary effort for individuals and entire species to survive and thrive. Scientists observing wasp colonies and primate colonies note the interactions between individuals and groups as a whole. People who study Bowen theory observe how emotional oneness in the natural world can also be seen in human families. Noone, Papero (17)
Bowen theory concepts are reflected in movies, books, podcast interviews, and across all avenues of human interaction that describe human behavior as part of the natural world. Reading Maggie Jackson’s book, Uncertain, is no exception. As a journalist and author Jackson writes about the impact of social trends, particularly technology, on humanity. The chapters in this book include case studies from neuroscience, technology and AI, medicine, sociology, and NASA space travel.
“Uncommon Ground” is the title of chapter six. This chapter describes the tension between
NASA’s 1973 Skylab crew and the flight controllers back on earth. During their time on Skylab, the astronauts wanted and needed more time to rest and reflect. The controllers back on earth needed the crew to perform countless experiments and take advantage of every moment in space. The astronauts decided to go offline in protest and forced a conversation about how to better care for the astronauts and perhaps create healthier conditions and more effective experiments.
Although it does not reference Bowen theory, chapter six offers a fascinating perspective on Murray Bowen’s concept of the togetherness force, and the effort to define self, as the pull toward being an individual in an emotional system. The chapter is a vivid description of the times we live in, which impact not just families or organizations but the societal emotional process observable in the world today.
Bowen writes in Family Theory and Clinical Practice, “Chapter 10”, ‘In broad terms, the
togetherness force defines family members as being alike in terms of important beliefs,
philosophies, life principles, and feelings. It uses the personal pronoun ‘we’ to define what ‘We feel or think,’ or it defines the self of another – ‘My husband thinks that…’ – or it uses the indefinite ‘it’ to represent common values – ‘It is wrong’ or ‘It is the thing to do.’ (218). Jackson writes “Cohesion feels wonderful and yet it can quickly turn into a group opiate….Coming together, we narrow our cognitive horizons to match those of our side, aligning our allegiances and our mind…Once aligned, we do not merely take on a shared view of the world, we begin to treat one another as alike…By cultivating a unified view, people become less willing to challenge one another to dig deeply into the evidence at hand. They see the world and their collaborators as more alike than in fact they are and tend to expect to agree with their team.” (138, 139, 143). The togetherness force feels good. It is part of the human condition, an aspect of species survival across time and place. Yet, it has limitations. There is value in thinking as an individual and in our ability to hear and embrace different ideas, thoughts, and opinions.
“The differentiating force places the same kind of emphasis on ‘I’ in defining the above
characteristics. It has been called the ‘I position.’ …this is the responsible ‘I’, which assumes responsibility for one’s own happiness and comfort and well-being. It avoids thinking that tends to blame one’s own unhappiness, discomfort, or failure on the other. The responsible ‘I’ also avoids the posture of irresponsible or narcissistic ‘I’, which makes demands on others with ‘I want or deserve…or this is my right or my privilege.” Bowen (218). Jackson quotes historian Robin Kelly who reminds us that “Diversity is not about harmony, but about unleashing creative dissonance, of being able to see the world in all its complexity” (149) Diverse voices, differentiation of self-positions, enable us to “explore new, eye-opening realms we find on the other side of blind unity.” (149)
Jackson concludes the book by stating, “The costs of clinging to a pretense of certainty in our technologies and across our lives are mounting. Too often, in corridors of power, across media channels, and around the kitchen table, people trade airtight convictions that admit to neither the fresh air of fact nor the winds of amendment. It has become common and even lauded to retreat from the discomfort of a measure of complexity or an alternative point of view. Calls for dismantling mistaken assumptions of the past are stymied by hatred, paralysis, and fear, while complex crises are flamed by knee-jerk solutions.” (207).
In this regard, Bowen theory’s concept of emotional process in society offers useful insight. Kerr writes in Bowen Theory’s Secrets, “The idea is that the family emotional system, which is subject to progressions and regressions in functioning as chronic anxiety fluctuates in the system over time, can be extended to explain phenomena in the larger social arena. Societal regressions are more than an emotional process…Virulent propaganda is used to stir emotional reactivity in tribe members, cementing unity (emotional fusion), and inciting members to reject or even cleanse society of ‘other’ tribes.” (149).
Human beings appreciate and seek out the comfort of being together in word and action. This has been part of the evolution and survival of the species. However, without the counterbalancing dimension of differentiation of self, of thinking as an individual, and of the capacity for families, groups, and society to value diversity, adaptation would fail, and the species would suffer or die. Both dimensions hold value. In these times when people are anxious and the pull toward togetherness, in an effort to feel comfortable and safe intensifies, people would do well to also cultivate the capacity to embrace differences, and the temporary discomfort that accompanies diversity. Being uncertain opens up the opportunity to think for one’s self. Being uncertain can lead to creative wondering, which has been the source of wisdom throughout the ages.
References
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Edited by, Noone, Robert J. and Papero, Daniel V. 2015. The Family Emotional System: An Integrative Concept for Theory, Science, and Practice. Lanham, MD: Lexington Books, an imprint of the Rowman & Littlefield Publishing Group Inc.
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Bowen, Murray. 1978. Family Therapy in Clinical Practice. New York: Jason Aronson, Inc.
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Jackson, Maggie. 2023. Uncertain: The Wisdom and Wonder of Being Unsure. Lanham, MD: Prometheus Books. An imprint of Globe Pequot, the trade Division of The Rowman & Littlefield Publishing Group, Inc.
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Kerr, Michael E. 2019.Bowen Theory’s Secrets: Revealing the Hidden Life of Families. New York: W.W. Norton and Company.
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Upcoming Programs and Conferences | |
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Bowen Family Systems Theory 101
Next session: Thursdays 10:00 a.m. - 11:00 a.m. CST, January 9 through February 27, 2025
This 8-week series of one-hour lectures and discussions are conducted online via Zoom, by Cecilia Guzman MS. The program is designed to provide participants with a general overview of each concept of Bowen family systems theory. A basic understanding of the eight concepts offers the opportunity to begin conceptualizing clinical cases through the lens of BFST. Gaining a broader perspective on behavior patterns in families can significantly improve outcomes of the therapeutic process. Participants are
encouraged to read “Extraordinary Relationships” by Roberta Gilbert. Other references will also be recommended during the course. more information >
Clinical Application of Bowen Family Systems Theory
Annual Day of Workshops
In-person conference Friday, February 28, 2025
The Annual Day of Workshops is a clinical conference highlighting the basics of Bowen Theory and its application in a variety of clinical settings. It would be useful to therapists, counselors, social workers, psychologists, clergy, organizational consultants, and others interested in a systems theory of human behavior grounded in the life sciences, including evolution and nature. Starting from a systems view of the human family as Murray Bowen described in his pioneering family systems theory, clinicians and consultants will explore ways to use the theory to inform their work. “The family of origin is a resource for learning more about oneself”. (Kerr, Family Evaluation, 275) How can we utilize this resource to reflect on and navigate through the multigenerational emotional process in all of our personal and professional systems? Bowen's theory offers insight when one is interested and curious about sharpening the lens on self and family. Kelly Matthews-Pluta, MSW is giving the keynote address in the morning, followed by a video and facilitated discussion. The afternoon will offer multiple workshops led by Bowen theory practitioners. visit our website to learn more >
42nd Annual Midwest Symposium
Friday and Saturday, May 2-3, 2025
In 1984 the Midwest Symposium began with Murray Bowen as the sole presenter. In 1991 Michael Kerr, Dr. Bowen’s successor as director of the Georgetown Family Center, became the annual main speaker. In 1990, CFC began inviting a different guest scientist each year to ensure that theory remains firmly rooted in the natural and life sciences, CFC has invited a wide variety of scientists over the years. They are researchers who have contributed to the science of human behavior and are willing to engage in a dialog that enriches both their and our understanding of the family, the brain, and behavior from an evolutionary perspective.
The two principal presenters at this year’s symposium are Dr. Patrick McGowan and Dr. Daniel Papero. The guest scientist is Dr. Patrick McGowan, Professor of Cell and Systems Biology, Psychology, and Physiology at the University of Toronto. His area of research has been the epigenetic mechanisms of neurodevelopment and behavior, particularly on the impact of adversity during early development. Dr. McGowan’s specific focus is on the role of parental factors early in life in altering the function of genes involved in the response to stress. The Bowen theory expert for this year’s conference is Daniel V. Papero, PhD, LCSW, a faculty member at The Bowen Center for the Study of the Family since 1982. In 1990, he published a basic introduction to family systems, Bowen Family Systems Theory. He and Robert Noone, PhD, co-edited the volume The Family Emotional System: An Integrative Concept for Theory, Science, and Practice in 2015. He has served on the editorial board of the journal The Family Systems since its founding. He currently gives many invited presentations yearly to various professional groups across the country and around the world on topics related to family systems theory, family psychotherapy, and the functioning of organizations. more information >
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Cecilia Guzman, MSW will be leading Bowen Family Systems Theory 101 starting this January '25
Next session: Thursdays 10:00 a.m. - 11:00 a.m. CST
Begins January 9 through February 27, 2025
Center for Family Consultation Online Course (meets weekly)
more information >
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Kelly Matthews, LCSW is presenting the keynote address for CFC's Clinical Application of Bowen Family Systems Theory Annual Day of Workshops.
Evanston, IL In-person conference
Friday, February 28, 2025
more information >
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Bob Noone will be presenting as part of a Lunch and Learn Series from The Bowen Theory Education Center in Chattanooga, TN.
On the Nuclear Family Emotional System
11:30 a.m. - 1:00 p.m. CST Friday, December 13, 2024 (online)
more information >
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CFC Alumni and Faculty in Print | |
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Caitlin Baldauff, MA, LPC
“Becoming a Family of Four”
The Systems Thinker, Center for Family Consultation Blog
October 30, 2024
read here >
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Alana C. Smith, LCSW, LCDC
“Societal Emotional Process and Cutoff in the Family”
The Systems Thinker, Center for Family Consultation Blog
August 14, 2024
read here >
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Now Available on Amazon:
Robert J. Noone, PhD.
“Family and Self: Bowen Theory and the Shaping of Adaptive Capacity”
Lexington Books, An imprint of The Rowman and Littlefield Publishing Group, Inc. Lanham, MD. 2021
more information >
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What are CFC Faculty Reading and Viewing This Season? | |
Kelly Matthews, LCSW
Demon Copperhead is written by Barbara Kingsolver, a favorite author of mine. This book follows a young boy from childhood in rural TN through his adolescence/young adulthood. He is poor and orphaned by 11. Friends and extended family pull together, albeit clumsily and sporadically, to help raise him.
It deals with family, friendship, romantic relationships, substance abuse, education, helpers and self. All told with an intriguing mix of reactivity and emotional maturity. more >
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Sydney Reed, MSW
Marketed as a thriller/mystery, Conclave is the first movie I have seen in the last five years in a theater. I was not disappointed. I was kept on the edge of my seat for the entire movie. Ralph Fiennes portrays a cardinal who has been previously chosen by the pope who has just died. He is tasked with the responsibility of handling important events such as the gathering of cardinals from all over the world.
They are sequestered together until they select a new pope by a 2/3 majority vote.
It’s fascinating to watch the emotional process that occurs under this pressure, and to see the importance of differentiated leadership at a time like this. more >
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Leslie Fox, MA
A Real Pain is not a comedy, although there are humorous scenes. It is a story of the impact that catastrophic world events have on one family's descendants. It is a recently released movie about two cousins born in the United States around the same time after WWII. They are grown men now who go on an adventure to visit modern day Poland, to honor their recently deceased grandmother who was born and lived there before the war. Bowen theory’s concept of multigenerational emotional process is reflected in the various ways in which descendants’ lives and relationships are shaped by historical events. It, too, was a riveting story. more >
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Volume 9 Number 2 | Winter 2025
CFC News published quarterly
by the Center for Family Consultation
Founding Editor: Leslie Ann Fox
Managing Editor: Lisa Friedstein
Production and Design: Justin Reed
Consulting Faculty: Sydney Reed, Lisa Moss, and Terri Pilarski
"That which is created in a relationship can be fixed in a relationship."
Murray Bowen, M.D.
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