More than 20 years helping parents and families living with the loss of a child
COPE Newsletter
March 2020
The Next Level of Healing is Helping

In this Newsletter
President's Message
Parent Column
Healing Tip of the Month
COPE's Camp Erin ® NYC
Calendar of Events
March Birthdays and Passings
COPE Supporters
March Brunch, a Show & Bowling
Thanks to PennPAC

Quick Links
President's Message
from Sandra R. Wolkoff, PhD., LCSW-R

It’s that time of year……temperature is two degrees outside, bright sun bouncing off snow and ice, pale blue sky wherever you look and almost no one is walking outside. Well, it is that time of year if you’re in Minneapolis, Minnesota, which I am. But by the time you read this, spring will be less than three weeks away.

The coming of Spring brings images of budding flowers, tiny suggestions of leaves that will flourish on trees, and a certain something in the air that invites us to forget the raw edge of winter. Spring is growth and renewal and a promise of great things to come. 

To read the full President's Message click here .
If Grief Means…..
An Answer by Esther Bogin (the proud mother of Heath)

I am sometimes asked the poignant questions “are you still grieving? Still? After all this time?” How do I, a mother who lost her son to sudden death; how do I answer these piercing words?

If grief means the pain I feel is due to my son not being here to touch, hug, hold me, then I am still grieving.

If grief means that I suddenly burst into tears when I am alone watching or listening to some thing that connects me to my son, then I am still grieving.

If grief means the sadness I feel that my son cannot share the joys of living with his daughters and wife, then I am still grieving.

If grief means the unspoken void felt at holiday and birthday celebrations especially when we toast Heath, then I am still grieving.

If grief means I can only hear his calming voice and his calling me Mom on video or saved voice messages, then I am still grieving.

If grief means that as I watch my granddaughters’ sparkling faces I am reminded of my son as a child, then I am still grieving.

If grief means I need to hear someone talk about my son or I need to insert a Heath story when my friends speak of their children, then I am still grieving.

If grief means five years have passed and I still miss my son, cry for him, and hurt for him, then I am still grieving.

If grief is knowing that all the love we have for that special someone (who has passed) truly has no real place to go, then I am still grieving and always will. My love for my son is eternal and so is my grief .
Defining Our Grief

Grief in the general sense is a reaction to loss. We connect the concept of grief to death, however, grief can be associated with any type of loss. We often overlook the intense impact secondary losses have on our experience of grief. So why is it so important to be able to define and understand the grief that we feel? Simply put, grief can feel like a very out of control experience and arming ourselves with information can not only help to establish some sense of control, but to also know when to reach out for more support.

To read more of Michelle's Healing Tip of the Month click here .

Michelle Graff, LCSW
COPE Foundation Clinical Director
(p) 516-274-0540

Hello from Camp Erin NYC!

Hope you are enjoying what appears to be a mild winter. I have camper inquiries coming in, so I am already thinking SUMMER and supporting our children in need.

How can you support camp? Get out your bowling shoes!


APRIL 27th, 7:00-9:30PM

Family, friends, food and fun - that’s all you need to have a great evening while supporting a great cause!


Bowling not your thing? Consider sponsoring our T-shirts. We need all new shirts for staff and campers this year! 


We are reminded daily of the fragility of life. Enjoy your moments and share information about Camp Erin NYC with those children suffering the loss of someone close to them. Together we can make a difference.

With appreciation,


For more information, please call Camp Erin NYC Director Ann Fuchs at 914.552-6919 or email her at


COPE partners with Eluna to offer Camp Erin NYC, a FREE, weekend long grief support camp designed to help children and teenagers ages 6 – 17, who have experienced the death of a parent, sibling or someone close to them. This year, Camp Erin NYC will be held from August 28-30, 2020.

For information on Camp Erin NYC click here .

Click here for a full calendar of COPE events
March Birthdays & Passings
Please click here to help us honor and remember the March birthdays and passings of loved ones who were taken from us before their time (go to the section titled March 2020).
COPE Supporters

We thank our generous supporters for making donations to COPE during the month of February 2020. 

Please click here to view donations, including those made in honor and memory of loved ones (go to the section titled February 2020).
This March, join COPE for brunch, a show and bowling!

Join COPE to connect with others and help ensure that we can be there not only for the families that need us today, but also those that will need us tomorrow...

Sunday March 8th - Join us for brunch at Cedarmere and connect with other COPE Families.

Sunday March 22nd – Join us for a day out at the Argyle Theater to see “Cabaret” and support COPE families.

Tuesday March 24th  – Join us at COPE’s Long Island Bowling Event at Bowlmor Long Island to connect and support COPE families.

Click  here  to learn more.
Check out COPE on WFUV!

COPE is proud to be part of the WFUV Strike A Chord campaign. This winter, WFUV’s Strike a Chord campaign is working to help combat social isolation, which can have profound effects on the body and brain.

A huge thanks to PennPAC

COPE was fortunate to be part of the recent University of Pennsylviania PennPAC alumni network's "ImPACt" event Thanks to all the amazing volunteers for their incredible insight, guidance and support.

Check out more at:
COPE Foundation
PO Box 1251
Melville, New York 11747