Calm Waters September 2019 Newsletter
Calm Waters News and Updates
The Wait List
Calm Waters announces that for the first time in our collective memory, we have a wait list for our Thursday night divorce support group.

This is distressing news because we have Oklahoma families in need of divorce support that we cannot immediately help.

To clear the wait list, we need 5 new volunteer group facilitators to commit to serving our families two Thursdays a month, from 6 to 9 p.m.

To better serve our community, Calm Waters will now host FREE group facilitator training on the second Friday of each month, from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. Interested parties are asked to register online and complete our online training before the training class begins.

For more information about the wait list and becoming a group facilitator, please call 405-841-4800 or email heather@calmwaters.org .
Calm Waters and the United Way Campaign
The United Way of Central Oklahoma provides critical funding to 57 nonprofits or “Partner Agencies,” doing important work for the central Oklahoma community.

Calm Waters has been a proud United Way Partner Agency since 2010 and United Way’s funding currently supports 12.5% of the Fiscal Year 2020 budget.

Between Labor Day and Thanksgiving, hundreds of local businesses will host United Way rallies for their employees to encourage donations.

Since August, Emily R. Tate, Calm Waters Director of Development and Communications, and Erin Engelke, Calm Waters Executive Director, have visited United Way rallies at Oklahoma Natural Gas, Target, American Fidelity, the Boy Scouts of America – Last Frontier Council, Chesapeake Energy, OKC Public Utilities and Oklahoma City Public Schools. If YOUR employer is hosting a United Way campaign, consider designating your donation to Calm Waters - our agency code is 7050 .

Calm Waters is not only a recipient of United Way funds, but thanks to our employees, we are a pace-setting contributor as well. We have 100% employee giving with a total gift of $1,084 to the United Way!
Congratulations Drew McKinney!
Drew McKinney, a Calm Waters grief and divorce support group facilitator, was recently named:

  • 2019 NextGen Under 30 honoree
  • OKCFriday most powerful OKC young professional
  • OKC Young Professional Horizon Award Member of the Year and Young Visionary of the Year
In addition to donating several hours a month to Calm Waters and winning numerous OKC accolades, he is a new father and a licensed insurance agent with New York Life. Drew, thank you for consistently investing in Calm Waters and your local community. We appreciate, congratulate and salute you!
A Window into our Support Groups
Did you know that Calm Waters' in-house clinicians write our own curriculum for the support groups? Here are two examples that were shared in the past month during group sessions. We hope you are inspired and share these tips to those in need!
Divorce Support Group | 8 Ways to Help Children When Dealing with Divorce
1.   Never assume your children know how much they mean to you.
Hugs, look them in the eye when you say “I love you.” 

2.    Spend quality and quantity time.
Children thrive with consistent contact. Don’t put them off during the day, thinking that you’re completing important obligations so that you have that 2 hour before dinner. There may never be that perfect moment, so make the best of the 15 minute chances as they come.

3.   Always speak of the other parent in positive terms.
Your child’s self-image is derived from the image they have of EACH parent. When you criticize the other parent, you essentially criticize your child.

4.    Mediate your difference with the other parent.
Protect your children from parental conflict the best you can, just as you would protect them from any other form of emotional trauma.

5.   Maintain Structure.
A predictable, structured routine helps your child to feel safe, secure and loved.

6.   Maintain Family Traditions.
Maintaining traditions, such as weekly Friday night pizza, gives children a sense of continuity.

7.   Be involved in your children’s lives.
Show interest in their day and friends, attend extracurricular events, even if only one parent attended events before the divorce, children often comment how sad they feel when only one parent attends their event. 

8.   Find and focus on their wonderful qualities.
Point out their good behavior and qualities, be specific! 
Grief Support Group | Sharing Your Grief Story
Sharing your grief story is so important because it turns a “hot memory” into a “cold memory.”

Often, when people first talk about their grief, they become emotionally flooded and struggle to find words or express what they are feeling. We call this a “hot memory.”

Sharing your story provides opportunities to find the words and work through those strong emotions.

The more people are able to do this, they can eventually turn their grief into a “cold memory,” where they are able to share their story without feeling the same flood of emotions.  
- Jordan Park, LMFT-C, Calm Waters Assistant Programs Director
Calm Waters Events News
Wednesday, Oct. 2 | Calm Waters Day at Hall's Pizza Kitchen
Dine in or carry out anytime between 11 a.m. and 10 p.m. on Wednesday, Oct, 2 at The Hall's Pizza Kitchen , 1004 N. Hudson Ave., Suite 106, OKC 73105.

Be sure to tell your wait staff that you’re with Calm Waters – 10% of the day’s sales will support Calm Waters’ FREE grief and divorce support groups and our school's support groups – there has never been a better reason to eat gourmet pizza!
Some organizations have galas, we have a CARNIVAL!
Jonathan Meyer is returning as Event Magician
While our largest fundraising event may be 6 months away, the Calm Waters event team is diligently planning for event success.

We are thrilled to have Jonathan Meyer return as the event Magician! He's long been a fan favorite and his talent elevates the event experience to the next level.

Be sure to save the date for the 7th annual Under The Big Top fundraiser on Friday, March 6, 2020 at the OKC Farmers Public Market.

This party includes your favorite carnival experiences such as Plinko, Balloon Pop, Hole-in-One, a Punch Wall and Deck of Cards, the magician , aerialists, stilt-people, a wine pull, a jewelry draw and a live and silent auction.
Calm Waters Intern Spotlight
Sarah Foster

Sarah is pursuing a B.S. in Psychology & a Minor in Child Advocacy Studies at Oklahoma City University. After graduating, she plans to pursue a Doctor of Psychology degree with the goal of creating easier access to mental health care for adolescents in rural South East Oklahoma.
 
Sarah is a Calm Waters trained grief and divorce group facilitator and assists with the tri-monthly Parenting Through Divorce seminars.

Sarah enjoys learning how to communicate with different age levels and observing the emotional evolution of people going through the divorce process, both in groups and in the court-mandated Parenting Through Divorce seminars.
Maddie Louder

Maddie is pursuing a B.S. in Psychology at Oklahoma City University and she chose to intern at Calm Waters to learn more about the nonprofit industry while serving families and children in grief.

Maddie is a Calm Waters trained grief group facilitator for Calm Waters Center support groups and she also is a student support group facilitator for several greater OKC metro area schools.

Maddie is open about her own grief story and has a heart for children who have experienced loss. She says being able to help other families through the grief journey has allowed her to process her own grief and heal as well.
Calm Waters Welcomes New Board Member!
Welcome Rachel O'Conner
Join us in welcoming our newest board member, Rachel O'Conner, a Paycom financial analyst, to the Calm Waters board of directors.

Rachel recently graduated from The United Way of Central Oklahoma's Boardserve program and we are excited to have her on our team!

Calm Waters, a 501c3 nonprofit, is governed by a volunteer board of directors who are responsible for steering the organization toward a sustainable future and oversee the center's activities.
Planning Your Legacy| Calm Waters
We would be deeply honored if you would remember Calm Waters in your will. For more information, please email Erin Engelke, Calm Waters Executive Director.
Calm Waters Center for Children and Families | 405-841-4800 | Calmwaters.org