Do you have an attitude of 'I can' or 'I can't'? If you've never really thought about it, take the time to do so now. One way to tell is to evaluate your initial reaction when an opportunity arises.
Do you say 'yes' to that opportunity or do you outright say 'no'?
All my adult life, I've believed myself to be a 'can do' kind of person. I'm not afraid to take a leap of faith when it comes to my professional life. I've always had the attitude of 'how can we get this done' not 'here's why we can't'. I am fearless when it comes to decision making and risk taking as it relates to any number of business or personal life situations.
But recently, as it turns out, there is an area of my life where I am more fearful than I ever would have thought possible.
My boyfriend has always lived a life of activity -- skiing, off road vehicles, zip lining, handball, motorcycles, jet skis -- if it moves, he loves it!
Me, on the other hand, have been what I call a brain person. I use my brain and my knowledge for fun. I read, watch movies, write stories, do crosswords, and play cards. I enjoy all sorts of activities that take strategy and mental acuity but not much physical effort.
I know this about myself. And I think, in retrospect, growing up in a home that outright discouraged all attempts at physical activity has impacted my desire to do so. My parents said a resounding 'no' to volleyball, band, and gymnastics -- their reasoning? 'You might get hurt'.
So deep down, that is what I think will happen every time I try some sort of physical activity. Just the thought of extreme physical activity makes my chest tighten (by extreme, I mean like the quads or skiing or dune buggies or roller coasters, etc). And because I know this about myself, I made a conscious decision in my 40's to be more physical.
I tried riding roller coasters. Yay, I survived that! So I decided to take a giant leap and went right out and learned to ride a motorcycle, became a private pilot and did a tandem skydive. Exhilarating!
But compared to the BF, I am totally a 'can't' person. Every time he asks me to try one of his motorized toys, I say 'maybe next time' and the disappointment in his eyes is not lost on me.
Oh I did try. The first time out on a quad I crashed it and badly bruised my ribs, reinforcing my concern about getting hurt. And the first time out on the Sea Do, I could barely get around -- mostly because my family was right there watching and I was afraid to make a fool of myself but also because I hate water and didn't want to fall off.
But here's the thing. I love to try new things and I want to ride the quad and the Sea Do. I want to share his love of all his toys. Lately I've been reading this book called The Power of Positive Doing. And one chapter talks about how our brains tend to look for what is wrong in a situation in order to stop us from trying new things.
The example this book uses to illustrate how our minds work is about picture frames. If you walk into a room with 10 pictures hung on the wall and 9 are straight and 1 is crooked, which will you notice first?
That's how our minds work. It looks for the one thing that is wrong or doesn't fit or why something won't work or that which scares us the most because that's how we protect ourselves (although why we would need to be protected from a crooked picture frame escapes me).
The point is, instead of focusing on what we can't do; let's retrain our minds by focusing on what we can do.
If I take the quads for instance, here's what I know how to do: I can shift a motorcycle and I know how to work both a throttle and a brake. I just need to practice doing it. The fear of crashing and getting hurt is one that I need to work through by taking my time and riding smart instead of reckless.
For 2018, I am going to conquer my fear of physical effort and become a 'can' person in all aspects of my life, not just business. It's going to take a herculean effort because the fear of getting hurt is deeply ingrained, but let's do it! What's the worst that can happen?
