Dear Assisting Hands Community, 

This weekly Caregiving Tip is for you,

to help you express your love for another human being.

We are all caregivers.

If you are a client, a caregiver, a caregiving spouse or family member, a medical provider, or anyone in the business of caring, we are your source for useful caregiving tips that bring connection to your caring work.

What:

A new caregiver was anxious to prove herself.

She moved quickly through her tasks — vital signs in three minutes, breakfast in five, dressing in seven.

The senior in her care grew agitated. Refused to eat. Pushed her hand away.

Her supervisor watched for a morning. Then she said one sentence:

“He is not slowing you down. You are speeding him up.”

The next morning, she moved at half speed. She offered each spoonful and waited. She buttoned each button as if it were the only one.

He finished his breakfast. He smiled at her for the first time.

So What:

We think speed is efficiency. In caregiving, the opposite is true.

When we rush a vulnerable person, we trigger their fear. Fear closes the body. A closed body cannot eat, dress, walk, or sleep. We have to do everything twice.

In caregiving, the slowest motion is often the most efficient love.

Now What: Try this…

Today, choose one routine task — feeding, bathing, transferring, dressing — and do it at half your usual pace.

Narrate softly what you are doing as you go.

Pause before each new step.

You will not lose time. You will give it back.

Weekly Moment of Beauty:

There is a Desert Fathers saying:

"If you are silent, you will find rest in every place you live."

— Abba Poemen

We were not taught this in school. We were taught to do.

But in the room of the dying, the grieving, the tired, the very old — this is the truer wisdom.

Sit quietly. Do less. Be present and pay attention. Watch the grass grow.

Or watch the birds in the garden as my yiayia used to do. (She used to know all the birds in her garden.)

Warmly,

Thomaie Hilaris

Assisting Hands Home Care

P.S. — Every care plan starts with a conversation. Reach out this week and let's talk about what's possible.