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5 Steps to Help A Senior Who Hoards
1) Find Support
Supporting an elderly hoarder is a huge undertaking, and you will need support of your own. Look to a friend, a therapist, or an online support group to deal with the frustrations of tackling this mess. Although you know you are working with your loved one's best interests in mind, you may be treated as the “enemy.” Hoarders become very anxious and are often angered by the thought of parting with or disposing of their collections; you may become the target of that anger. It’s important that you have a safe place to vent and talk through the difficult emotions that can arise throughout this process.
2) Establishing Trust
You may think that your relationship with your loved one is already built on love and trust. After all, your concern for their well-being is why you’re trying to help them clean and organize their home in the first place. However, this trust does not always extend to family and close friends when one’s hoard is at stake. This is especially true if you have “helped” this person in the past by disposing of their possessions without asking permission or heeding their objections. Start slow and be patient. Verbalize your commitment to respecting your loved one’s decisions regarding the cleaning process and demonstrate this in your actions. Underhanded tactics may rid you of some hoarded items, but it will likely damage your relationship and hinder any long-term progress that might have been made.
3) Seek a Medical Evaluation
Although hoarding was once classified as part of the diagnostic criteria for obsessive-compulsive disorder, it is now recognized as a distinct issue with unknown causation. Many factors may play a role, including personality traits and stressful life events. It is important to rule out dementia, depression, and other mental health conditions that may be contributing to their hoarding behaviors.
4) Set Realistic Goals
A hoarder’s collection often overtakes a substantial amount of their house and may even overflow outside as well. Helping an extreme hoarder clean and organize their home is a herculean task, and efforts to take on the whole project will be overwhelming. One AgingCare member who was left with the job of cleaning out her parents’ home lamented in the Caregiver Forum that it took her a year to finish the house and 3 years to sort out the garage! Be sure to set realistic goals that factor in the pace at which your loved one is able to work through their hoard. Breaking the project into small, attainable objectives will keep a hoarder from feeling rushed or pressured and hopefully give them a sense of accomplishment as they are completed.
5) Celebrate Success
Even a small milestone like recycling stacks of old newspapers should be celebrated! Once a hoarder sets a comfortable goal and achieves it, they are more likely to realize that the parting process isn’t as distressing as they once thought. Positive reinforcement will build your loved one’s confidence and encourage them to continue strengthening their decision-making and organizing skills. Although it will be a long process, it is possible to help an elderly hoarder reclaim their home and make it a safe and healthy place to live.
(Source: AgingCare)
If you are a paid caregiver and not a family member, your approach will still be about establishing trust, making small gains, and celebrating all successes.
Agencies in the Bay Area that can help:
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