Self-regulation is the ability to recognize and manage stress levels. It is the ability to achieve the preferred state of alertness for the given situation. Self-regulation comes more easily to some children than others. There are many reasons for this, including temperament - all children are born with temperamental traits that can affect self-regulation. We also need to understand that self-regulation has nothing to do with being strong or weak, and that children and teens who find self-regulation difficult are not intentionally misbehaving. The problem has to do with an over-stretched nervous system. These children need more assistance from adults to stay calm and focused. When children and teens are calmly focused and alert, they are best able to: regulate their emotions; pay attention; ignore distractions; inhibit their impulses; assess the consequences of an action; understand what others are thinking and feeling, as well as the effects of their own behaviour on others (Shanker, 2013).

 

As parents and educators, we can teach children and teens to understand and manage their physical state and their feelings in various situations. Our goal should be to create environments where students become self-aware of their stressors and equipped with the skills and strategies necessary to maintain a positive state of calm, alert focus.

 

Keep in mind that difficulty in self-regulation that occurs across a number of settings and over long periods of time can be a warning sign that mental health difficulties may be present that may require further assessment by a qualified professional.