|
“Helping Those We Love”
I recently spoke with someone who is experiencing extreme family trauma. When pain like this surfaces, we soon realize there is no other pain quite like it. It hurts on the outside of our bodies, the inside of our hearts, and every place in between. Sometimes there is nothing we can do about it. Other times, there is. Regardless, we cannot fix it on our own. Healing almost always requires another person to do their part, whatever that may entail.
As people striving to respond as God desires, healing possibilities can be incredibly challenging. The people we are trying to help may not receive our efforts the way we intend. Even though they are family, or perhaps because they are so close to us, our words and actions can unintentionally strike an already tender nerve. Instead of feeling supported, they may think we are interfering, trying to control them, or even making things worse.
Patience is essential. Not everyone operates on our timeline. People often need time to process our concern, our advice, and even our love. Ripping off the Band-Aid may seem like the quickest solution, but very few people are ready for that approach. More often than not, a slower and gentler response is received much better.
It is also important to remember that we are not responsible for fixing every problem someone is facing. Sometimes we feel compelled to solve everything at once. That rarely helps. One problem is enough for today. Do not try to make them clean the house, stop arguing with everyone, schedule each doctor's appointment, and solve every issue all in the same week. I see this happen all the time: We set out to help with one major struggle, but along the way we begin trying to fix every perceived issue of a person's life. In those moments, we can sound more like a parent scolding a teenager than a friend offering support.
Helping the people we love through difficult seasons is never easy. Sometimes we can make a real difference, but other times, the greatest gift we can give is simply letting them know they are loved and that they remain at the top of our thoughts and prayers. It is also reassuring for them to know that, when possible, we will walk beside them through professional counseling, medical treatments, court appearances, or whatever challenges lie ahead.
Remember, fear is a powerful force. It often reveals itself through pride, anger, frustration, and other painful emotions. When someone is truly afraid, they may say or do things they do not really mean.
If someone you love is struggling, put on the full armor of God before you speak with them. Pain is a terrible burden, and our loved ones sometimes respond in ways that seem harsh or discouraging. We understand that because we have been there ourselves.
Be the light of the LORD. Pray about your involvement and seek God's wisdom. He will show you exactly what to do, even if what He asks of you is simply to pray faithfully and love patiently.
Finally, stay connected to God. Come to the Chapel this week. Whether you join us in person or online, I promise you will be encouraged.
God Bless, Brock.
| 
