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The Judge's Corner.
The Scariest Saying.
by Jeff Tolman
I was getting to the punchline of a story that usually gets good reviews. It has interesting facts and a plot twist at the end that more-often-than-not evokes a good laugh from the listener. As my monologue continued, I noticed my listener's lips were involuntarily moving along with mine, saying the words in synch, knowing the end of the story, courteous enough to act as if they didn't.
Horrified, I was, as the vignette ended, and a friendly chuckle was received.
How embarrassing and scary. As I age, I have come to believe the scariest saying in the English language is “How is it that I can remember every detail of the story, but not who I have told it to?”
We have all had the experience as speaker and listener.
Each of us has a quiver of tales that ingratiate us with new friends and old, unique experiences and odd turns of events that are enjoyed by those with whom we share.
Recently I read a book about elected officials discussing the difficulty with remembering names of so many folks they meet on the campaign trail. One elected official's wife recalled seeing a familiar face at a rally, knowing she should remember the person, A big donor? Part of the staff? A local volunteer? Then, she remembered, waved, and said to the person "Hi, Mom!" Funny stuff. A good story. Such is true about story listeners, too.
Unfortunately, the quiver size for different people's stories varies greatly. I have friends who seems to have an unlimited bag of funny and interesting stories to share - on almost any topic. They are dynamic, invigorating, great to spend time with.
At the same time there are folks who have had about three experiences in their whole lives to share and have to fit them into any topic.
The singular highlight of one acquaintance's life appears to be his attendance at The Pendleton Roundup in the 1970's. In his mental file of stories to tell, the index card is labeled "1 of 1." No matter what question is asked, or topic is being discussed, Pendleton will be involved.
"Joe, will you pass the salt?"
"Salt...boy, that reminds me of Pendleton. The Roundup. 1974. Though I concede it is 400 miles from any ocean, there was something in the air that seemed salty...."
Or "Joe, have you seem Jim recently? He looked down-in-the-dumps when I saw him last week."
"I know a little bit about down-in-the-dumps. It was in Pendleton. The cowboy from Dufus, Texas had just been bucked off of the great bull 'Wish-I'd-been-a-dog.' What a monster that bull was. One of the greats. But that cowboy was as down as anyone I've ever seen. No, I haven't seen Jim in months."
Why can't I recall who I have told my ten best stories to? Yet remember all the details of each vignette?
A pal and I used to play a version of "Name That Tune." Those of you old enough will remember that the contestants would bet on how many musical notes they'd need to name a tune. "I can name that tune in five notes." "I can name that tune in four notes." And when the lowest "bet" was made, the piano player would play that number of notes and the contestant would try and name the musical piece. A friend and I played a related game to get an acquaintance to tell a particular, known story with the fewest statements of our own. For example, I’ll get "a story about Jerry's experience locked in the car... in one sentence."
Go for it. For lunch.
Me: “I have a heckava time with these keyless locks.”
Jerry: "Don't I know it. When I was a kid I got locked in the car when Mom picked me up at school. She got talking to the teacher and before we knew it..." I won lunch. Jerry, like all of us, had no idea we could tell the story verbatim.
I had a client opine that he was married to the greatest wife on the planet. “Big words,” I said. “Tell me why you say that.”
“After 41 years together,” he started, ”she still acts like it is the first time she has heard my stories.” Quite a spouse, she is.
The good news is that some stories are timeless. I have heard tales from friends and relatives multiple times and still enjoy. Maybe the answer isn’t to quit telling tales. Perhaps the answer is to get to the punchline as quickly as possible when the listener's mouth is telling the story in synch with yours.
Copyright Jeff Tolman 2023. All rights reserved.
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