Volume 2, Issue 3 | April 2018
How Much Do You
Do For Yourself?

The phrase "self-help" has had a stigma attached to it for far too long. Traditionally, it's been perceived as a marker of the weak, unsure, or insecure, but it should instead be considered a foundation for development, refinement, and growth.
Self-help is an important focus because, more often than not, we forget to help ourselves. We move through life in reactive mode to the world around us, delivering for others, performing for others, and coming through for others. But, in the course of that external approach, we tend to lose sight of ourselves.
Helping ourselves doesn't only mean doing better in our work and life, little-by-little, in the moments as we go. More than that, we need to step back and examine our lives from afar, to see what needs to be improved in how we're living and working. In general -- and in leadership -- you can't help others effectively if you don't help yourself first!

Various areas of this month's newsletter cover our need to take care of and assess ourselves. The Coach It Out Podcasts remind us to do right by ourselves while we contribute to our environments. Quickshots covers the blog post During The Up's and Down's In Your Environment, Keep Your Fire, Not Just Your Cool. In The Books covers the book The Subtle Art of Not GIving a F*ck, while The Self 60 reminds us all to Be Proud.

Remember, this is YOUR newsletter, so reach out and participate by contributing to any one of the  Coach It Out Podcast series. The lessons and stories in each issue are timeless and will always be applicable, so check out The Last Five Archive at the bottom of the newsletter to reference older issues.

As always, feel free to forward The Monthly Leader to whomever you think would find the material beneficial and helpful. Don't hesitate to shoot me an  email if you need anything or have any ideas, feedback, or recommendations regarding any of the content here.

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All the best,

John M. Jaramillo
Founder and Leadership Coach
Coach It Out, LLC

(Photo by  Rob Symonds)

P.S. - If you didn't receive The Monthly Leader directly from Coach It Out, join the mailing list in the upper right-hand corner of this newsletter.
No shortage of ideas exists in the Coach It Out Blog . From leadership lessons in global or domestic news, business and workplace operations, various ideas are covered.

Self-help leads to realizing what it is you want to provide and sharing it with your environment. But you have to be careful to not sacrifice those contributions because of someone else's ill-intended, negative, or misinformed opinions.
Your Monthly Check-In
Topic: Helping Yourself

In general, how do you see your role in each of your environments?

How much of your life and work is dictated by what your environments press upon you as opposed to what you provide your environments?

How have you seen yourself evolve in your journey to get to the point where you're providing more of yourself into your environments?

What do you need to get going? Name it. What does it take?
Great Reads for
Helping Yourself

Here are some great articles to begin
and continue helping yourself:

Self-Help Advice:
Create Your Own Reality

How Do You Feel About...Talking To Yourself?

How Are You Self-Sabotaging &
Holding Yourself Back?

Coach It Out's podcasts seek to provide insight, share ideas, and start discussions across four different series.

Check out the introductory episodes for the four series  here .

What would you like to hear about?

What would you like to discuss? Send some ideas.
Episode 9
by Mark Manson

The title of this book says it all. No watered-down translation needed. So much of what holds us back is due to giving too much to the wrong things. Too much time. Too much concern. Too much energy. We stop ourselves from doing what we want and getting what we deserve.

The book relates to leadership development as it covers the attention and energy we use for the endeavors in our life and work. Are we focusing on the right things -- the things that really matter -- or are we wasting effort on the wrong things?

This book is recommended specifically for those who weigh down or pressure themselves based on what others may think, which may limit their performance and satisfaction in the everyday.
Provides a deeper breakdown of issues, ideas, and concepts covered in the Coach It Out Blog

Episode 13

How much do you silence yourself, both against your better judgment and best interests? It can vary from situation to situation, depending on circumstances. How much do you hold in?

Provides a deeper breakdown of each of the
items on  The Self 60  list. 

Episode 12

Don't self-sabotage or forfeit any part of yourself, especially preemptively. Take stock of what you've done and what you find important. Realize what you're good at, and demonstrate it. Recognize what you're capable of contributing, and do it.
How Coaching Covers:
Self Help
No matter where we are in our lives or careers, there's always room for self-assessment. Coaching works to help us clear the clutter and regularly reflect, looking inward and determining where improvements can be made. To be better for others, we need to be better for and to ourselves.
Action Steps to Start

  • Break down a self-assessment to understand strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats.
  • Identify areas of clutter which cloud the mind and concentration, restricting value creation.
  • Identify areas of toxicity which may hinder growth, development, and satisfaction.
  • Assess current available resources and tools for development in targeted areas.
Where Do You Stand?


"I'm really not sure how we got way off kilter with the concept of brutal honesty. Brutal is savage, cruel, and vicious. It has no place in our business or personal lives."

As some context, this article counters another article which praises brutal honesty. How do you balance honesty with tact? Much of self-help is speaking up for how you see things and what your goals and desires might be. Too often, though, people maintain their silence, to their own detriment, in order to keep the peace. The article is an extreme example, but how do you balance your needs with being respectful?
End Quote
"Too many people's lives might be dictated in part or completely by the needs, intentions, and actions of others. They -- we -- allow things to happen to us." ( Read More)

Part of working on yourself is not only continuing to evolve but also combating any deterioration of your value and ability by others. In these situations, we're limited not by our ability level but by what we allow other people to siphon off from us. The toxicity, ill-nature, or ill-intention of others may hold us back.

Many of us are fearful of changing our environment or changing the familiar, but sometimes that's what it takes to learn, build, and evolve. Your time, energy, and effort are invaluable. How might you be letting others minimize your impact and effectiveness? Be careful of what you tolerate.
The Last Five Archive
2018 - March / February