The Power of “Yes, and” 

Recently, I read a newsletter article by Elena Aguilar that revisited an idea I have been trying to bring more intentionally into my own practice: replacing the word “but” with “yes, and.” It is a small shift in language, yet it can create a meaningful shift in how we show up in conversations with those we support. Because coaching is grounded in relationships, the words we choose can either open space for reflection and growth or unintentionally close it.

In many of our conversations, we aim to acknowledge what the person is experiencing while also offering new perspectives or possibilities. Yet when we say, “Yes, that makes sense, but…” the word but often erases what came before it. Even when our intention is supportive, the message can land as a correction or a disagreement. Shifting to “Yes, and…” allows us to honor the person’s thinking while building on it rather than replacing it.

This approach aligns beautifully with the spirit of coaching. When we say “Yes, and…” we communicate that we are listening, that we value the other person’s perspective, and that we are curious about what might come next. In coaching conversations, that mindset can help create a sense of partnership and shared problem-solving.

For those of us supporting others, these small language choices can have a big impact. When people feel heard and respected, they are often more willing to explore new ideas and experiment with different strategies. “Yes, and” encourages a collaborative tone, one that reinforces that learning and problem-solving happen together.

As you move through your conversations this month, consider experimenting with this simple shift. Notice what happens when you replace “but” with “yes, and.” You may find that it creates just a little more openness, a little more curiosity, and a little more space for the kind of reflective dialogue that helps all of us continue growing in our work.

Submitted by,

Rasheeda Coston, Director of Coaching rascos@pakeys.org   

Barb Willier, Coaching Coordinator, barwil@pakeys.org 

The Pennsylvania Key   

A portion of the content in this article was generated with the assistance of AI technology. While the AI system has contributed to the writing process, human editors have reviewed and edited the final output to ensure accuracy and quality.