Coaching Can Combat Paralyzing Perfection

You are likely to have heard some version of the saying, "perfect is the enemy of good." Academic coaches routinely encounter students who cannot accept less than perfection from themselves. Whether this comes from parental expectations, inner drive, society's dictates, or some unique combination of factors, the result can be far from the success these students expect. 

Students with perfectionist expectations may believe there's no point in putting in the work unless they can count on vaulting over the high bar they've set. Getting a grade like a B- on an exam -- something other students would welcome -- can shut them down to the extent that they forego studying for hours of YouTube or get together with friends instead of turning in assignments. In this way, a highly capable student can end up paralyzed and even on academic probation, unnecessarily stunned and hamstrung. Furthermore, this habit sets students up for major challenges outside of college where most jobs feature daily ambiguity, challenge, and a need for patience with self and others on teams. When these tendencies aren’t addressed in college, the world of work can be far more challenging than needed for these grads, impacting potential promotions, responsibility, and earnings.

Coaches can ask questions like these to combat all-or-nothing thinking:

• What does a B (or other grade) mean to you?

• What does "perfect is the enemy of good" mean to you?

• How might you define yourself as successful right now?

• Take a look at what assignments are outstanding that you can still turn in. Which would give you the most relief to complete? If you got it done, which one would you do next?

• How can you define your value separate from [exam or course grade]? 

• Between doing nothing and doing everything, define a middle ground that is achievable for you this week. What can you commit to with confidence?



• Where, this week or this month, can you grow more comfortable with ambiguity?

Coaching may be life-changing for perfectionistic students, and it is fortunate when they seek out or are mandated for coaching, because they often perceive learning assistance of any sort as unnecessary for them. Coaching can help these students see far beyond the limited possibilities they may perceive, and refocus on learning.