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Imagine hearing that something hasn't gone the way you'd hoped, and feeling curious instead of frustrated, with no sense that it's yours to fix.
At the end of a recent 3 day coaching workshop, a participant, visibly relieved, said she was leaving with her stress reduced.
She cares about her students and too often carried home the feeling that she had failed them when they didn't follow through on what they needed to do and so didn't achieve their goals. She felt responsible for how things turned out for them.
What she took from the workshop was permission to let herself off the hook when it came to outcomes. People can't be forced into changes they haven't arrived at on their own and connected to who they want to be. She found the line between what was hers and what was theirs: the conversation is hers, and the change is theirs. A boundary like that isn't a way of caring less. It lets her keep caring without carrying how their choices turn out.
I know that weight, and so do many of us. We explain to a colleague, chair, dean, provost or president why the approach they've adopted won't get them what they want. They agree, and nothing changes. Then comes "if only I'd been able to…" and, again, the feeling of being responsible for whatever could have been avoided.
Coaching offers another way. A coach is responsible for the conversation, for listening well and asking curious questions, and then trusts the other person to find their own way. The change belongs to them, and holding that boundary is a gift to both people.
The participant who left relieved hadn't stopped caring about her students. She had found a way of caring that she can carry.
Imagine a campus where the people who help others carry less and listen more. LifeBound's 3-Day Workshop is the beginning of making this picture a reality.
To learn more or explore which option is right for you, visit www.lifebound.com.
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