These puns may sound silly but they perfectly illustrate the false steps and boobytraps we sometimes experience at the table. We discovered early on in Coming To The Table that language leads change. How we converse with each other is just as important as what we say. Cross-cultural dialogue can be challenging, however the style we use to communicate can lead to understanding. We have all experienced starting a statement and ending up somewhere else. Watching faces freeze because objectives get dropped. Sometimes what we mean to say is not what actually gets said or heard. That’s why our facilitation team trains monthly, exploring ways to keep our conversations on track.

Bonnie (our Facilitation Trainer Extraordinaire) and Shelli (a Frontline Facilitator pro) are creating a CTTT-RVA Facilitation Handbook. They have included a page on conversation types that gives clarity to some of the style challenges we observe as we discuss important and sometimes contentious subjects. It describes three approaches to conversation:

It’s time to move! We had an “Aha!” moment reading through the style descriptions and thinking about some of the clashes, oopses and ouches we have experienced. Sometimes inertia can make us feel frustrated and angry. How can we help our conversations move more smoothly into action? Most CTTT-RVA discussion opportunities employ (very purposefully) the Empathic Conversation mode. It has to do with respectful listening, personal stories and perspectives, healing, and relationships. We are building relationships through understanding and welcoming each other in all our diversity. Yay for us! Honoring feelings and histories is essential to creating new ways of thinking, being, and ultimately doing.

Although it is gentler and “nicer”, Empathic Conversation isn’t necessarily the style we need to use all the time if we are truly about “repairing what is broken.” Listen to Jerry, Tina, Clarence, Ron, and all the Reparations and RAW working group members, stressing (at their best) the Dialogic mode of conversation. People come with the purpose of finding some action to improve the way the community functions. In order to get to solutions, ideas have to be offered, listened to, considered, compared, tried on, researched, brought back to the drawing board, offered, listened to...repeat, repeat...until the whole group agrees “Let’s do this!” That’s the purpose of the Dialogic mode. It gets us to pull together in one direction. Relationships are built in the process of coming to agreement and putting a plan into place. Trust and mutuality are built. Our experience is that it takes a lot of Empathic Conversation skills (especially the real listening part) to get to constructive dialogue.

I've been to the dentist many times so I know the drill.

OUCH! This last style can be hard and make folks uncomfortable. Debate is a style we hope will remain only in arranged situations, where the panel is on stage, having prepared all the oppositional ideas ahead of time. A debate in our breakout rooms can make people feel needled by someone who just needs to be right. But in a formal setting, you can safely present conflicting ideas in order to consider all points. You can examine, argue, or dispute ideas safely. Debate can be a wonderful informational style, if approached as a learning tool, instead of a contest of wills and wits. It is a useful research method. Because CTTT-RVA’s main purpose is to mend fences and build bridges, we tend to avoid this style at our tables.

At our last meeting together, Bonnie said “history is always in the room”. This means we come to the table carrying our experiences, our life journey, generations of suffering and patterns of behavior that we have established in our lives to protect ourselves and help us survive.  These patterns, however, may not serve us well if we want to move toward repair. While they have served us in the past, as we move forward toward repair, we may need to take this opportunity to master the gifts of different conversation styles presented through CTTT, to develop into our greater selves. Mastering the give and take of conversation isn’t just talk - it's the key to unlocking our narratives that ultimately lead to ACTION.  

Marsha Summers, Co-CEO Danita Rountree Green, Co-CEO

People Over Prisons

Join us to hear Rodney’s personal story of redemption and his hard wrought strategies for transforming our correctional system for the good of our communities.

Education For Action Book Circle

Thursday, May 13th

Throughout 2021, the Education For Action Book Circle will be taking a deep dive into:

Contact Darren for more information.

13th: From Slave to Criminal

Join us this month watching the critically acclaimed Ava DuVernay documentary, 13th. The documentary was titled after the Thirteenth Amendment to the Constitution that abolished slavery in the US and ended involuntary servitude except as a punishment for conviction of a crime. It explores the history of racial inequality in the US, focusing of the fact that the nations prisons are disproportionately filled with African Americans. Released in 2016 on Netflix, it gained a surge in viewership in the wake of the George Floyd murder.

This documentary asserts that slavery has been perpetuated since the end of the Civil War through criminalizing behavior and enabling police to arrest poor freedmen and force them to work for the state under convict leasing; suppression of African Americans by disenfranchisement, lynchings, and Jim Crow; politicians declaring a war on drugs that weighs more heavily on minority communities and mass incarceration affecting communities of color. It examines the prison-industrial complex and the emerging detention-industrial complex, discussing how much money is being made by corporations from such incarcerations.

This documentary can be view on Netflix by subscribers or on YouTube for FREE! (1 hour, 40 min)

Wednesday, May 26th

40 Acres, the second episode of the WNYC series “The Scarlet E: Unmasking America’s Eviction Crisis”. Martin Wegbreit is featured on a segment running from 10:54 to 11:53.

Summary of RAW Truth Session #3 with Thad Williamson, PhD on Economics and Community Wealth Building.

For more information email our working group!

Reading For Change Book Circle

Your copy should address 3 key questions: Who am I writing for? (Audience) Why should they care? (Benefit) What do I want them to do here? (Call-to-Action)

Create a great offer by adding words like "free" "personalized" "complimentary" or "customized." A sense of urgency often helps readers take an action, so think about inserting phrases like "for a limited time only" or "only 7 remaining!"

Via Zoom

Come join us to discuss former President Obama's highly anticipated first volume of his presidential memories as he takes us on his story from his earliest political aspirations to the pivotal Iowa caucus victory that demonstrated the power of grassroots activism to the watershed night of November 4, 2008, when he was elected 44th president of the United States, becoming the first African American to hold the nation’s highest office.

According to his official website, "A Promised Land is extraordinarily intimate and introspective—the story of one man’s bet with history, the faith of a community organizer tested on the world stage. Obama is candid about the balancing act of running for office as a Black American, bearing the expectations of a generation buoyed by messages of “hope and change,” and meeting the moral challenges of high-stakes decision-making. He is frank about the forces that opposed him at home and abroad, open about how living in the White House affected his wife and daughters, and unafraid to reveal self-doubt and disappointment. Yet he never wavers from his belief that inside the great, ongoing American experiment, progress is always possible."

Email our co-conveners team to be added to our Book Circle mailing list to receive an invitation and Zoom details.

Join us for a great conversation of reflection, repair and reconciliation. Our speakers Lotte Dula, Sarah Eisner, Phoebe Kilby and Allison Thomas will discuss how they each discovered their family’s connection to slavery and how that knowledge inspired their own personal journeys of repair.

The BET/BET Her channels have been airing a series called Disrupt and Dismantle that is very informative. Season 1 Episode 4: The Future of "Policing" features Soledad O'Brien interviewing Anjanette Young, Mayor Lori Lightfoot, State's Attorney Kim Foxx and others about the Chicago Police Department's history of brutality and the obstacles to reform. Episode 5: Displacement in the Mermaid City is right in our back yard in Norfolk, VA.

If you have cable services, you may be able to watch these videos on demand or on demand online.

Reparations Circle Update.

CTTT Virtual National Gathering

Register by May 14th to receive these

Early Bird GIFTS!

This will be a different type of National Gathering since we will be gathering "virtually". One big advantage will be the cost. Without expenses for travel, accommodations or meals, the only expense will be the cost of registration! If cost is an issue, please know that there are scholarships available. Click here to complete the "Contact Us" form to request more information and/or an application form. Please note in your message that your request for Scholarship information is for the National Gathering.

Dr. Joy DeGruy, an internationally renowned researcher, educator and author of Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome will be our keynote speaker on opening night. Her research focuses on the intersection of racism, trauma, violence and American chattel slavery.

Yeye Luisah Teish, teacher, dancer, storyteller, high priestess, and author will be our featured speaker on Friday.

Rev. Robert Wright Lee IV, author, activist, and distant nephew of General Robert E. Lee, will be the closing speaker of the Gathering on Sunday.

MAY

JUNE

JULY

SEPTEMBER

"I have been attending CTTT for several years. It has become a big part of my life during the pandemic. After the program last night we were reminded that nothing is truly free so I decided it was my time to

It is with great sadness that we announce the loss of Adele Johnson. Her life aligned so with the mission of CTTT-RVA as she was noted for "her passion for telling the untold or under celebrated stories of Black people" and “a true partner in our work to tell the truth about Virginia’s complex past.” She was known to be unflappable, with dignified grace. She once noted that the BHM was one of the best-kept secrets in Richmond. But her vision was not for this to be so!

Coming to the Table - RVA is looking for someone who would like to utilize their bookkeeping and online QuickBooks skills to further our mission.

If you have about 6 hours a month and a passion for this work, we would love to hire YOU!

or via email.

We are also looking for volunteer support in the area of communications! If you have some knowledge of website maintenance and Constant Contact we'd love to talk with you and see if there is a good fit! The number of hours per month depends on your availability, for now up to 8 hours per month and as little as 2-4 hours per month.

or via email.

September is our Annual Family Reunion month. It's an opportunity for us to gather, share and connect with others within and across racial lines to develop and deepen relationships.

The Heart of the Matter in Black and White: Is the Justice System Rigged?

If you would like to join the Reparations Circle to learn more about opportunities with which you can help, please join us.

Contact Leslie Crabbs if any of this speaks to YOU!

~ Angela Y Davis