Are you considering couples therapy, but you have concerns about how to bring it up with your partner? Here are five tips that may help:
1. Ask gently and at a good time. Never bring up the topic of couples therapy in the middle of a fight or as an ultimatum. Find a time when you and your partner are calm (and not tired or hungry) Let him/her know that you value your relationship but would like it to be better in some important ways. Share your fears and be willing to be vulnerable.
2. Do not blame or criticize. Focus on what you would like to improve in yourself to make the relationship better. For instance, “I would like to learn how to communicate with you better, without arguing or fighting.” Always use “I” statements.
3. Explain the importance of his or her participation. If your partner participates, the therapist will learn a lot about your relationship by observing both of you together and by hearing both points of view. Your partner’s contributions to therapy are valuable.
4. Tell them what to expect. A good therapist takes a neutral stance and avoids taking sides. This is an advantage over asking friends or family for advice. Therapy allows both of you to reach your own conclusions regarding what is best.
5. Ask them to help you choose a therapist. At DC Talk Therapy, you can schedule a free phone consultation with our couples therapist, Yvany Peery. During the 15-minute call, your partner can ask questions and see if it’s a good fit.
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