I am sick of COVID, too! But it’s not done with us, so keep on masking up and spacing out. Avoid hanging out in groups, despite how badly we all want to. And for the gals, get super comfy in an OOMBRA.

Here’s one of the best parenting strategies I know: always explain why. If you give the rationale behind a rule, your kid can understand its point. Better yet, that kid can take that rule beyond the walls of your home, implementing it in the outside world precisely because it makes sense.
 
So, a word of parenting advice to the LA County Department of Public Health. No, actually, to Departments of Public Health everywhere, and while we’re at it, to governors and the CDC, too: If you are going to set rules because of COVID, explain why. This will accomplish two things:

  1. It will help everyone living in a community understand the new restrictions.  
  2. It will force the rule-makers to recognize when a new rule is completely inane.
 
Take, for example, the rules that have been in effect in LA since Monday. My fellow Angelinos and I have been told that we cannot socialize with anyone outside of our household. The order is densely written, but it basically states that you cannot hang out at their house, they cannot hang out at yours, and no, you cannot meet up for a hike or chill at the beach. It doesn’t exactly prohibit going on a walk together, but it doesn’t expressly allow this either. We’ve had no indoor restaurants for ages and now no more outdoor dining. Why? It’s all based on the theory that viral spread is happening during small social gatherings where people get lax, take off their masks, and sit closer than 6 feet apart. Then, blammo! Viral spread. Okay, this makes sense. However, if you read further down the Health Officer Order, you will find that we are allowed to go to any of the following: retail shops, hair salons, tattoo and massage parlors, batting cages, mini-golf courses, and go-cart tracks. Sure, these places have to operate at reduced density, but they’re open for business. Destinations you can visit. With a bunch of strangers. Who don’t live in your household.
 
Said another way: my kids haven’t had a single day of normal in-person school since March, and now they are forbidden from socializing with their friends or seeing their grandparents even one-on-one, outside, masked, and distanced, but they can all absolutely meet up at the (open-air) mall and do holiday shopping together. Completely inane.
 
It's the consistent inconsistency of messaging that has people turned upside down and therefore helps COVID spread like wildfire. If the rules were clear – clarified by explanations of why a particular limit was being enacted – people would be so much more inclined to follow them. This is not science, it’s common sense.
 
So, to any of the public health rule-makers out there, please take a new tact. Help people help themselves by explaining the rules you are putting in place. While you are at it, if you cannot explain the inconsistencies in the very restrictions you are laying out, scrap them and go back to the drawing board. Then maybe you will consider a serious pivot or two, like shutting down non-essential retail so that kids can get their very essential education. Take a page out of Rhode Island’s playbook: it is closing bars and gyms to keep schools open. Or look at New York: they owned up to recent mistakes, reassessed, and will be reopening their elementary schools. Whatever tact you choose, do these two things: (1) help people understand the why behind your limit, and (2) acknowledge when the limit makes no sense. That’s just good parenting.
 
Today’s links clearly need to begin with optimism, so here goes: The vaccine is coming! The vaccine is coming! Who will be first in line for a COVID vaccine? That’s being negotiated as I type. Lots has been written about it over the past couple of days, though, after the CDC made some recommendations. More is sure to come. Meanwhile, will you be able to choose your vaccine brand? Maybe. The logistics of vaccine distribution are promising to be complicated at every turn.
 
Now on to viral spread. At the top of this newsletter, I outlined this scenario for COVID transfer: people gathering in small groups, tossing aside their masks, and clustering in tight spaces. But there are many very smart epidemiologists who think that small group gatherings shouldn’t be blamed for COVID spread. They make a good point… then again, are they scrolling through Instagram and seeing what I’m seeing?!
 
By next week, all the headlines will be focused on new quarantine rules. They’re about to get shorter, but only because people in the US don’t seem to be willing to comply with the longer – and scientifically safer – rules. Spoiler alert: this is not going to work out well.
 
And finally, masks. Read this article if you want to crack up about family mask logistics. And since masking is going to be a thing for most (if not all) of 2021, grab a couple of OOMASKs here. 
 
On a completely unrelated note, how awesome is this? Scotland becomes first nation to provide free period products for all.
 
Because we’re already off topic – plus it’s the holidays – I’ll take a moment to share three new books I love, written by people who know a ton about raising kids, and one new volunteer organization that should be on your radar especially if you are an LA local. Bonus: none of these have anything to do with COVID!
 
  • Tina Payne Bryson’s The Bottom Line for Baby is an excellent read. I say that even though I don’t take care of babies anymore, nor do I have any living in my house. It’s that good! Doesn’t hurt that Tina is a brilliant integrator of research. What really makes this a book you should get for your friends with babies, though, is that it’s readable, data-based, and practical. The trifecta!
  • Jonathan Cristall’s What They Don’t Teach Teens addresses the other end of the parenting spectrum. This book is actually written for the adolescents living under your roof, but it is well worth parents’ time, too. Jonathan is a prosecutor with a bad boy past, so he’s one of the few who could write the go-to resource on kids’ rights, responsibilities, and essential life skills. He is perfectly measured in his advice, which starts with knowing the rules of law.
  • Anisha Abraham’s Raising Global Teens is another must-get, especially if you want to break out of your local mindset. Abraham shares her perspective as a pediatrician and mom who has worked and lived around the globe, making the case for the value of multi-cultural living.
  • Not a book but an endeavor: Step Up tutoring provides an opportunity for you to become part of the solution in the public education crisis in Los Angeles by volunteering as a tutor for LAUSD students. This new program, born during pandemic, will have an impact well beyond. How did I hear about Step Up Tutoring? From my very own 1980s SAT tutor. Yep, you read that right! Decades later we’re still friends, and he’s still teaching kids.
 
A note of clarification before ending: In my last newsletter, I wrote about vaccines helping to get kids back to school. In case it sounded like I was suggesting kids will be able to get vaccinated, let me correct that. Only one COVID vaccine trial currently includes kids, and these are only kids over the age of 12. This basically means that kids are not being studied, and therefore they likely will not be vaccinated anytime soon. We cannot give them the vaccine without understanding the risks and benefits. NPR did a great piece this past weekend addressing the issue, and the president of the American Academy of Pediatrics has been beating the drum for several weeks now. The failure to study kids represents a huge oversight. That said, vaccinating the adults who work at schools – and who are arguably the highest risk on campuses – should be helpful in terms of school reopening.
 
And now, for the budding OB/GYNs out there...