Hello all,

Happy Fall! Now that the remnants of Tropical Storm Karen have passed gently overhead we can settle in for a few weeks of the perfect climate which Florida affords us each spring and fall. Come December, we'll be complaining about the short days and cold nights. Funny how we always act surprised even though these same events occur pretty much every year, like clockwork. My twins turn 20 years old today. Birthdays happen every year (like clockwork) but how did they get this old? I have no teenagers anymore! I knew time was passing but I guess I'm still surprised that they've grown up so quickly!

I know I've been putting you all through my mid-life crisis for some months now. This month is no exception. Have you noticed how the same occurrence looks different from where ever you are standing at the moment? A personal example is that I'm thinking of moving to the beach. No not changing jobs but simply relocating to a nearby town and commuting. Years ago this would have involved a great deal of logistics such as kids and schools, travel distance for the spouse, room for my mother to visit etc. Today the choice seems like it should be much simpler but I find it a bit scary. I haven't moved anywhere on my own in more than 25 years. There have been friends who were roommates, husbands, kids and every winter, my mother. Now it's going to be just me and the dogs.

Who would have imagined the emotions involved? I raised my kids in College Park. Half of the people I know, I know from my children's activities. Yet, these same people's kids are also grown and moving on. They are not necessarily bound here either. Some people I know are even gearing up for retirement!

There is a caregiving analogy here and part of it is specific to my personal journey but some is universal. We spend a great deal of time in our lives coordinating and adapting to meet the needs of others. Usually that does not end suddenly - rather it dwindles down as those we care for need us less or not at all. Our babies reach their twenties and start their own households. Yes, they still need us but not in the same tangible way. As for our parents - they will, by nature, go before us. No one to call when we need the shoulder only a mother or father can provide. They have moved on as well.

In 1984, I moved to Florida with a girl friend and a U Haul truck. We didn't know anyone really. We were excited for the endless possibilities. Almost 30 years later, I tell people it was the greatest move I ever made. I wonder why a much shorter move today seems so imposing? Could it be that we took on so many responsibilities over the years that we are challenged to find the daring adventurer in ourselves? Can we (I) recapture the excitement of starting out anew?

I'm standing in much the same place today as I was in 1984. I owe it to both the parents who raised me to be brave and outgoing, and to the kids who need space to spread their own wings, to rediscover my adventurer's heart. Thinking I should check the price of a U Haul truck. How about you?

Love and Peace,

Mary Ellen