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Hello St. John’s Family,
I need to open this note with a confession: I am not ready for Lent. Not in any way, shape, or form. Yes, Ash Wednesday was yesterday, and yes, I understand the rhythm and movement of the seasons of the Christian year. I am well aware that Lent is such an important and meaningful season; one where we remember and re-experience the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus – the foundation of our faith. I also know that Lent will begin whether I’m ready or not.
Now I’ve been preparing for Lent since late December, mind you. Many hours have been spent looking at devotionals and potential Bible studies, considering themes for sermons, planning worship services, and praying for God’s guidance. Despite all that, it has been a real struggle to get my heart lined up with the reality that Lent is upon us. I don’t feel ready for Lent yet. It seems way too early. Christmas has barely passed; can’t we just pause, breathe, and relax a little bit? If I’m honest, I’ve found myself resenting the fact that such an important time is upon me already.
So as yesterday’s Ash Wednesday services arrived, I was wrestling with those very thoughts. I walked down the Sanctuary aisle, paused at the front, and offered a prayer asking God to quiet my thoughts and guide my words such that all might honor Christ. The resentment, though, was still there. I wanted to release it, yet I couldn’t. The call to worship I lead said to “Rend your hearts, and not your clothing.” I, though, was not able to rend anything. This surely is not what it means to “observe a holy Lent.” Then, as the opening hymn played at the noon service, Charlotte Elliot’s words struck me in a powerful way:
Just as I am, though tossed about
With many a conflict, many a doubt,
Fightings and fears, within, without,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.
~Just As I Am, Without One Plea, verse 3
This is a hymn I’ve sung many times; one I always find meaningful. Yet as I sung those words half-heartedly yesterday, I saw in a fresh and new way how Christ was already there, waiting for me. Christ knew exactly how I was feeling; Christ fully recognized the resentment and conflict I was wrestling with. Our Lord knows all the baggage we bring with us when we come to Him, and Christ is always ready to receive us exactly as we are. I was reminded yesterday how our ability to prepare to encounter Christ pales in comparison to the compassion and grace that Christ extends when we show up - despite our struggles and resentments.
Perhaps that is what Lent is all about. Perhaps this (very early!) Lenten season is our invitation to come to our Lord; to again walk with Him in the journey toward Jerusalem and all that Jerusalem will bring, whether we’re ready and willing or struggling and resentful. Perhaps this season is about engaging our Lord’s invitation to come and follow, responding to Christ’s questions with complete honesty, and experiencing the powerful impact of Christ’s steadfast love. Because Christ is right there, with open arms, ready to meet us exactly where we are.
This Sunday in worship we’ll engage in conversation with Jesus as we hear him ask the question What do you want me to do for you?... two different times! The paths of those two conversations will help us explore our desires: how Christ invites us to be honest about them, and how our desires can align with the desires of God. I hope you’ll read Mark 10:35-52, and then join me in worship on Sunday-
Grace and Peace,
Pastor Brad
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