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Hello St. John’s Family,
As Holy Week presses on into Jesus’ arrest and Passion, people of faith are called to join him: to enter into, as much as we can, the tension, suffering, and death of Jesus so we can more fully comprehend the glory and joy of resurrection on Easter. What follows is an adaptation of a journal reflection I wrote years back and have shared with you previously. Originally this was intended to help me center my heart and join Christ in his Passion; I hope this will help you do the same.
Here we are, once again, at the threshold of a sacred night. Tonight – Maundy Thursday – we remember and re-experience Christ’s final night with his disciples prior to his execution, and the intimate opportunity Christ offers us to draw near to our Lord. It’s a sacred night, centered around a sacred act, consecrated through a sacred meal, and culminated in a scandalous, yet sacred arrest. For those who have followed Jesus for some time, tonight likely has a familiar feel. We approach it anticipating the sacred, as we respond to Christ’s call to do as He has done, to partake, and to remember. Arriving again at this intimate moment feels familiar. Almost like home.
Almost. See, tonight is also a deeply troubling one. Unlike Christmas Eve, when the True Light of the world breaks into darkness in a most beautiful way, tonight it is darkness that appears to get the upper hand. After rising from an intimate table and meal, tonight concludes with helpless gasps and silent stares as we are shaken by the shock and horror of Christ’s arrest. Under the cover of darkness, the Lord of all creation is apprehended and led toward his death. Sorrow and fear are superimposed on our familiarity and desire. And right in the middle of it all, our Lord asks a question that resonates across the ages: do you understand what I have done for you? (John 13:12)
Like so many of Christ’s questions, the question of do you understand what I have done for you is a loaded one. Jesus’ disciples – the ones first asked this question – certainly didn’t understand. They didn’t have a clue as to the depth of love that was revealed in Christ’s act of washing their feet, or that would be revealed over the next three days. They didn’t grasp how their lives would be changed forever by what they experienced. Those disciples were in way over their heads, and that fact was about to become obvious. Their heads were spinning as they struggled to process a night and weekend that transformed human history.
Honest reflection will reveal how we are in a similar situation. As we approach this familiar, sacred night, Christ is asking us this same question that he asked the twelve: do you understand what I have done for you? This question troubles us. It’s a question that cannot be fully answered, yet it must be contemplated. Wrestled with. Fully engaged in our hearts and minds, so we can begin to grasp just how much Christ loves us.
I pray that each of you will wrestle with this question over the next three days… and that Christ Jesus will reveal his mercy, grace, and incomparable love in powerful and new ways!
Grace and Peace,
Pastor Brad
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