Couples' Newsletter | May 2023
Music Notes
LoveNote2

The Newmans remind us that the gift of influence is a gift of love by reminding us to make our spouses partners in decision-making; spotlight a romantic Airbnb getaway in Wilmington, NC...The Cove; remind everyone that the Richmond Jazz and Music Festival takes place in August; encourage couples to go on a summer rendezvous to a North Carolina beach; share an amazing recipe for Garlic Butter Shrimp Scampi Lasagna; provide date ideas; spotlight the love song 4evermore by Anthony David; share a prayer for financial freedom; and, suggest intimate conversation starters.


The Gift of Influence


Happy Summer, Family and Friends!


On this LoveNote2 journey we have talked about John Gottman’s book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, and we’ve shared Principle #1- Enhance Your Love Maps and encouraged you to learn more about one another…your hobbies, your dreams, your feelings, your opinions, and your new favorites. You can’t love a person you don’t know. Then, we shared Principle #2- Nurture Your Fondness and Admiration, which is the foundation for this newsletter. We talk about how important it is that you like one another and feel that your spouse is worthy of honor and respect; and often highlight the importance of attending to your “friendship.” If you don’t have a friendship, it’s impossible to have a relationship. And the last time we talked about these principles was in May 2023, when we shared Principle #3- Turn Towards Instead of Away. We reminded you of the importance of turning towards one another when there are “bids” for attention, affection, humor, or support. Answering bids for attention such as a request to talk, hints that they want a backrub, or asking you to participate in an activity establishes and maintains trust, emotional connection, and passion.


In this issue, we want to introduce to some and remind others of Principle #4- Let Your Partner Influence You. This principle challenges us to make our spouses partners in decision-making. When we have a decision to make, especially those decisions that are going to directly impact others, we should ask our spouses for their opinion and feelings about the matter and let them share in the decision making. Research shows that this is harder for men to do, but that emotionally intelligent men who let their wives influence them have happier marriages than men who resist their wives’ influence. The research focuses on men because wives, even those in unhappy and unstable marriages, already do this…they let their husbands participate in the decision making. Some people don’t want to be influenced because they want to have things their way. But when you share in decision making and disagree, you learn and you have an opportunity to practice your problem-solving and conflict resolution skills. If there is disagreement, you come to a common ground which is better for the relationship than making the decision alone, which may cause resentment and damage the relationship.


On social media, ‘influencers’ are big. An influencer is someone with a large and engaged social media following who can influence their followers’ opinions, behaviors, and purchasing decisions. Influencers are often seen as trendsetters, and their recommendations and endorsements can have a significant impact on the businesses and brands they promote. In marriage we indirectly influence each other’s attitudes, beliefs, and choices…our eating habits, political views, and our social interests blend into one. We propose working towards more direct and intentional acceptance of influence in our decision-making that may result in our giving up having some things our way. Love requires that we put aside our selfishness and pride. In marriage, we can’t pursue our own individual goals at the expense of our spouse; we must adjust our priorities and our habits for their well-being. We must take into consideration what is best for everyone…what is best for the marriage. When we allow ourselves to be influenced by our spouses’ opinions and feelings, we come closer to loving like Jesus, who willingly laid down everything (his life) for God and for us. The gift of influence is the gift of love.



1 John 3:16, tells us “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.”


With Love,



Paula and Sherman Newman





Romantic Getaway....

We just found this wonderful waterfront treasure! The Cove Riverwalk Villas in Wilmington, North Carolina. It’s a 35 houseboat Airbnb community, with 1- and 2-bedroom villas. Let’s go check it out, https://www.thecovewilmington.com/ !



A Fun Thing to Do With Your Honey!


The Richmond Jazz and Music Festival is August 9-11, 2024 and they have a wonderful line up: Fantasia, Wyclef, Gregory Porter, The Lox, Najee, Regina Belle, Ludacris, Monica, Andra Day, Bob James, etc.


Summer Rendezvous at the Beach- Which One?


If you haven’t made it to the beach this summer, let’s go! 'Not to our favorite beach, with lots of things to do, waaaay down the road in another state, but right here in North Carolina at one of the quiet, relaxing, laid back, 'let's make time to lay back and listen to each other breathe and look into each other's eyes' beaches. There are quiet a few to choose from.....

·      Beaufort, NC, www.BeauCoast.com

·        North Carolina’s Brunswick Islands, www.ncbrunswick.com

·        Oak Island Beaches: Sunset Beach, Ocean Isle Beach, Holden Beach, Oak Island, Caswell Beach, Bald Head Island, Leland, Shallotte, Southport, Calabash), www.OakIslandBeaches.com

·        Swansboro, NC, www.visitswansboro.org

·        Oriental, NC, www.townoforiental.com

·        Bald Head Island, NC, https://www.baldheadisland.com/

·        Kure Beach, NC, https://kure-beach.wilmingtonandbeaches.com/

·        Ocean Isle Beach, NC, https://www.oibgov.com/

·        Wrightsville Beach, NC, https://www.townofwrightsvillebeach.com/

·        Kill Devil Hills & Kitty Hawk, NC, https://www.outerbanks.com/top-10-kitty-hawk-kdh.html

·        Nags Head, NC, https://www.nagsheadnc.gov/

·        Carolina Beach, NC, https://www.carolinabeach.org/

·        The Outer Banks- Hatteras Island, NC, https://www.outerbanks.com/hatteras-island.html


See this guide to NC Beaches for a comprehensive list, https://nceatandplay.com/real-tour/a-guide-to-north-carolina-beaches-which-one-is-best-for-you/

Try This Amazing Seafood Recipe!

Garlic Butter Shrimp Scampi Lasagna 


Ingredients:

For the Shrimp Scampi:

1-pound large shrimp, peeled and deveined

4 tablespoons butter

4 cloves garlic, minced

1/2 cup white wine (or chicken broth)

2 tablespoons lemon juice

1/4 cup fresh parsley, chopped

Salt and pepper to taste


For the White Sauce:

4 tablespoons butter

4 tablespoons all-purpose flour

4 cups milk

1 cup grated Parmesan cheese

1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg

Salt and pepper to taste


For Assembly:

12 lasagna noodles, cooked according to package instructions

2 cups ricotta cheese

1 egg

2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese

Fresh parsley, chopped (for garnish)


Directions:


1️. Preheat your oven to 375°F (190°C).


2️. Prepare the Shrimp Scampi: In a large skillet, melt the butter over medium heat. Add the minced garlic and cook for 1 minute until fragrant. Add the shrimp and cook until they turn pink, about 2-3 minutes per side. Pour in the white wine (or chicken broth) and lemon juice, cooking for an additional 2 minutes. Stir in the chopped parsley and season with salt and pepper to taste. Remove from heat and set aside.


3️. Prepare the White Sauce: In a medium saucepan, melt the butter over medium heat. Stir in the flour and cook for 1-2 minutes until lightly browned. Gradually whisk in the milk, stirring constantly to avoid lumps. Bring to a gentle simmer and cook until the sauce thickens, about 5-7 minutes. Stir in the grated Parmesan cheese and ground nutmeg. Season with salt and pepper to taste.


4️. Prepare the Ricotta Mixture: In a bowl, combine the ricotta cheese and egg, mixing until smooth.


5️. Assemble the Lasagna: Spread a thin layer of the white sauce on the bottom of a 9x13-inch baking dish. Place a layer of cooked lasagna noodles over the sauce. Spread 1/3 of the ricotta mixture over the noodles, followed by 1/3 of the shrimp scampi mixture and 1/4 of the white sauce. Repeat the layers twice more, ending with a final layer of noodles and the remaining white sauce on top.


6️. Sprinkle the shredded mozzarella cheese evenly over the top of the lasagna.


7️. Bake in the preheated oven for 25-30 minutes, or until the top is golden brown and bubbly.


8️. Remove it from the oven and let the lasagna cool for 10 minutes before slicing.


9️. Garnish with freshly chopped parsley and serve the Garlic Butter Shrimp Scampi Lasagna hot. Enjoy!


Prep Time: 30 minutes | Cooking Time: 30 minutes | Total Time: 1 hour




Date Ideas:



Durham Performing Arts Center (DPAC), https://www.dpacnc.com/events/all :


  • Anthony Hamilton- Friday, August 9, 2024
  • The Rocket Man Show- Saturday, August 10, 2024
  • Charlie Wilson- Friday, October 18, 2024
  • The Temptations and the Four Tops- Sunday, October 20, 2024
  • Andre 3000- Tuesday, November 12, 2024
  • Marlon Wayans, Wild Child Tour- Saturday, November 16, 2024
  • Bonnie Raitt- Tuesday, November 19, 2024




PNC Arena, https://www.pncarena.com/events


  • Corteo by Cirque du Soleil- August 8-11, 2024
  • Childish Gambino with Special Guest, Willow- Friday, August 30, 2024
  •  Martin Lawrence with Special Guest Deon Cole and Benji Brown- Friday, September 6, 2024
  • The Kirk Franklin Reunion Tour (Yolanda Adams, Fred Hammond, Marvin Sapp, and the Clark Sisters and Special Guest Kierra Sheard-Kelly)- Thursday, September 26, 2024



Carolina Theater, https://carolinatheatre.org/events/


  • Leela James- Thursday, November 7, 2024



Goodnight’s Comedy Club, https://www.goodnightscomedy.com/calendar


  • Tommy Davidson- Friday/Saturday/Sunday, August 2-4, 2024
  • Sam Jay- Wednesday, August 6, 2024
  • Corey B- Friday/Saturday/Sunday, August 30- September 1, 2024
  • Karlous Miller- Friday/Saturday/Sunday, September 6-8, 2024
  • Jackie Fabulous- Sunday, September 15, 2024
  • Zainab Johnson- Wednesday, September 18, 2024
  • Jamali Maddix- Wednesday, September 25, 2024
  • Jordan Centry and Don Garrett- Sunday, September 20, 2024


Raleigh Improv, https://improv.com/raleigh/


  • Eddie Griffin- Friday/Saturday, August 16-17, 2024
  • Smooth Jazz with Jonathan Butler- Wednesday, August 28, 2024
  • DC Youngfly- Friday/Saturday, August 30-31, 2024
  • D.L. Hughley- Friday/Saturday, September 6-8, 2024
  • Smooth Jazz with Mike Phillips- Wednesday, September 18, 2024
  • Smooth Jazz with Gerald Albright- Wednesday, October 16, 2024
  • Ian Lara- Friday/Saturday, October 18-19, 2024
  • Earthquake- Friday/Saturday, October 25-26, 2024



Koka Booth Amphitheatre Town of Cary, https://www.boothamphitheatre.com/events


  • An Evening with John Legend- Sunday, August 11, 2024
  • The Roots with Special Guest Macy Gray (Benefiting the Kay Yow Cancer Fund)- Friday, August 30, 2024


Coastal Credit Union Music Park at Walnut Creek, https://www.coastalcreditunionmusicpark.com/shows


  • Chicago and Earth, Wind, and Fire: Heart and Soul Tour 2024- Monday, August 12, 2024
  • Boys II Men, Friday, September 6, 2024


Steven Tanger Center, https://www.tangercenter.com/events


  • Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons- Saturday, August 17, 2024
  • Wynton Marsalis- Thursday, September 5, 2024
  • Mamma Mia- September 17-22, 2024
  • Keith Sweat- Saturday, October 5, 2024
  • Black Violin- Saturday, November 9, 2024
  • The 5th Dimension- Friday, November 22, 2024
  • Hamilton- December 26, 2024 – January 5, 2024


Crown Coliseum, https://www.crowncomplexnc.com/events/all

  • Black BBQ Cookoff- Saturday, August 17, 2024
  • Ladies R&B Kickback Concert (Dru Hill, Ginuwine, Lloyd, Pleasure P, Bobby V, H-Town, Case, Shai, Sammie)- Saturday, September 28, 2024 
  • Festival of Laughs (Earthquake, Tommy Davidson, Arnez J, Joe Clair)- Saturday, October 12, 2024
  • WIDU Women’s Empowerment Luncheon with Jekalyn Carr- Thursday, October 24, 2024
  • 2024 WIDU Anniversary Celebration Concert (Pastor John P. Kee & The New Life Community Choir, Le’Andria Johnson, Tim Rogers, Doc McKenzie & The Hi-Lites, and special honorees, The McDonald Sisters) – Friday, October 25, 2024


Martin Marietta Center for the Performing Arts, https://www.martinmariettacenter.com/event-calendar


  • 24K Magic: The ULTIMATE Bruno Mars Experience- Sunday, August 25, 2024



Seven Springs Farm and Vineyard, https://sevenspringsvineyards.com/

  • The Evolution of Beyonce featuring Keandria Hayes- Saturday, August 3, 2024
  • 90’s vs. 2000’s Fest- Saturday, August 17, 2024
  • Pink and White at the Vineyard- Saturday, September 7, 2024
  • Greek Fest- Saturday, September 24, 2024
  • All Black Affair- Saturday, October 5, 2024


Anthony Hamilton at the DPAC on August 9, 2024

The Kirk Franklin Reunion Tour at the PNC Arena on Thursday, September 26, 2024

John Legend at Koka Booth Amphitheatre on Sunday, August 11, 2024


Love Song Spotlight


4evermore by Anthony David featuring Algebra and Phonte, https://youtu.be/_erfDxsnYgU?si=27bflQL-lJC3EloD


Finance Matters:

Prayer for Financial Freedom





















Communication is Key...

5 Intimate Conversation Starters for Couples


1.      What do you consider a good sexual experience?


2.      Do you like to feel in control during sex or do you prefer your partner to take control?


3.      Is there anything I'm doing in bed that you don't like or that makes you feel uncomfortable?


4.      What puts you in the mood to have sex?


5.      Do you feel satisfied with our sex life currently? If not, why not?







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Sherman and Paula Newman| 919-730-1107 | lovenote2@hotmail.com | NIFS website, www.newmanskillbuilding.com
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