The Newmans reflect on the seasons of marriage and encourage couples to hold on, and do the work that it takes to fall in love over and over again as we cycle through the seasons of marriage; share a wedding announcement; share an idea for a holiday party for two; offer travel ideas; spotlight a new rendition of an old love song; share a banking method for organizing finances; and share date ideas/places you can go to spark and re-spark the fire. |
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Happy Holidays!
In September 2022, Sherman and I had the pleasure of attending Word of God Fellowship Church’s Couples Day Party and sharing tips for falling in love over and over again. The party theme was Fallin’ in Love and we are twenty-five years into this relationship, so we decided to remind couples that we don’t just fall in love once, but we must intentionally fall in love again, and again, and again throughout our marriages. We agree with Gary Chapman’s posit that there are four seasons of marriage and we are constantly moving from one season to another, not annually or orderly like the seasons in nature, but most definitely, continually and consistently.
As married couples, we always love each other and we always care about and want the best for each other (mind/thoughts). But truth be told, we are not always “in love (feeling).” Sometimes we find ourselves in WINTER: when we feel distant, lonely, rejected, discouraged, hurt, angry, frustrated, disappointed, and dissatisfied; and other times we experience SPRING: when we are filled with hope, excitement, joy, openness, anticipation, optimism, gratitude, love, and trust. Then, sometimes we enjoy the warmth of SUMMER: when we are satisfied, comfortable, connected, happy, and relaxed; simply enjoying life together; then, comes FALL, when we feel neglected, dejected, fearful, sad, uncertain and unsettled, and unappreciated. And we cycle through these seasons many times throughout the life of our marriage. No, it's not just you, its all of us!
As we enter the holiday season, we ask you to take a moment and think about what season you are in, in your marriage. Take a look at the feelings associated with each season, in the previous paragraph. If you are in Fall or Winter, please know that each season holds the potential to make our marriages stronger and healthier and each one holds its challenges. The good news is that we are the captains of our ship (relationship) and God is the Master of our fate and our souls! Just knowing this makes us feel better. We hope it makes you feel better, too! As captains, we are responsible for communication (talking to our co-captain) and safe handling of the ship (each other); we are responsible for following all the rules and laws (Bible and agreed upon relationship rules); and we have command and control of the navigation/the direction of the ship. We are reading the manuals (Bible, marriage books), scanning the water for debris (problems/concerns), and since we are at the wheel, we have the ability to turn/make adjustments as needed. But, throughout the journey, our Master (God) has his hands on us and we will not be defeated. Success/victory is our destiny (fate). This is what God wanted us to tell you today, because my conversation about the seasons of marriage got upended....did you all see that?! (...have Thine own way, Lord..)
We can make adjustments at the wheel of the ship (relationship) by changing our thoughts, actions, and attitudes and changing will hopefully result in a commitment to planting seeds of love and hope in the Spring that will produce fruit in the Summer. And our new attitudes will help us gather a storehouse of good feelings and open communication that will prepare us to weather the changes of Fall and the icy cold of Winter. If you are in Fall or Winter, please stay hopeful and committed!
As we experience life through our five senses—seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, and touching—we feel emotions, develop attitudes, and act. The intermingling of our emotions, attitudes, and actions determines the quality of our marriages in the different seasons. We often act on our feelings without thinking. Feelings are important. They tell us whether something is wrong or right in our relationship, but our feelings must lead to reason, and reason must be guided by truth for us to respond with the appropriate action. We shouldn’t go straight from feelings to action without the benefit of reason. When we do this, we end up in Winter when we could be enjoying Spring or Summer. Remember this formula: FEELINGS (strong emotions) directed by REASON (thinking about something in a logical, sensible way) guided by TRUTH (that which is true or in accordance with fact or reality) will result in more CONSTRUCTIVE ACTION (a behavior or response that will build, improve, help; lead to a positive outcome). And constructive action will keep us in Spring and Summer more often! And this is our goal.
In Gary Chapman’s book, The Four Seasons of Marriage: Understanding and Talking About the Everchanging Cycles of Marriage, he offers seven strategies to enhance the seasons of your marriage and they are: 1) deal with past failures, 2) choose a winning attitude, 3) learn to speak your spouse’s Love Language, 4) develop the awesome power of empathetic listening, 5) discover the joy of helping your spouse succeed, 6) maximize your differences, and 7) implement the power of positive influence. We suggest that you read this book (even though it’s pretty old, it’s still relevant) and use the study guide for more details and assistance, if needed.
At the Couples Day Party and in this newsletter, we take a different approach to suggestions for enhancing the seasons of your marriage and offer you 20 Tips/Things You Can Do, to fall in love again, and again, and again. Please use this link to access the pdf of the slides that we 'shared from' during the event.
We pray that you are in Spring or Summer in your marriages this holiday season. And we wish you the Merriest of Christmases and a Joyous New Year!
With Love,
Paula and Sherman Newman
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Two Down, Zero to Go!! Both Kids Are Married, Now! |
On October 8, 2022, our daughter, Cydney Newman married John Perkins II, at Studio 215 in Fayetteville, North Carolina. They married where their love story began. They met in 2017 while working at Cape Fear Valley Medical Center and have been inseparable for over five years. We are excited about what God will do in their union. The beautiful couple will reside in Waldorf, Maryland.
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He changes times and seasons; he deposes kings and raises up others. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning (Daniel 2: 21)
“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. (Ephesians 4:26)
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)
Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her… (Proverbs 31:28)
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” (Ephesians 5:31)
Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord. (Proverbs 19: 14)
Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. (Proverbs 21:9)
Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife. (Proverbs 21:19)
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (Ephesians 5:33)
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. (1 Corinthians 13:6)
Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. (Ephesians 4:15)
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Create a Holiday Party for Two
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2 Jartcuterie jars
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· 2 CosNopolitan
Jarcuterie:
Get two (2) mason jars and add the following: your selection of deli meats (salami, pepperoni, prosciutto, ham, etc.), your favorite cheeses (brie, cheddar, goat, swiss, pepper jack cubes, smoked gouda, mozzarella balls, etc.), your favorite fruits (granny smith apple slices, grapes, dried apricots, kiwi slices, blueberries, pineapple chunks, strawberries, orange slices, etc.), your favorite breads (crackers, pretzels, melba toast, breadsticks, etc.), and any other items that you would like to add (olives, nuts, carrot sticks, cherry tomatoes, etc.). Make it cute!
CosNopolitan:
Double the following recipe for two (2) glasses
· Seedlip (Non-alcoholic spirits): 2 oz. Grove 42
· 1 oz. Organic Cranberry Juice
· ½ oz. Lime Juice
· ½ oz. Simple Syrup (You can make your own simple syrup by combining equal parts warm water and sugar; stir to dissolve. Let it cool.)
Add all ingredients to a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake and strain into your coupe glasses. Garnish with your orange peels.
Glass & Garnish:
Now turn on “R&B and Pop Holidays Radio” (Pandora) or “R&B Christmas Music” playlist (Spotify) or whatever you do for music. And it’s a party!
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The North Carolina Mountains are Calling Us! |
Yadkin Valley embraces the easy life- relaxed, indulgent, and celebratory- if this is you, visit these cities: Mount Airy, Dobson, Elkin, Pilot Mountain, Ronda, Yadkinville.
High Country is for the adventuresome, artistic and nature-loving- if this is you, visit these cities: Bakersville, Banner Elk, Blowing Rock, Boone, Sparta, Spruce Pine, or West Jefferson.
Asheville and Environs appeal to Bohemian sensibilities and nonconformist attitudes- if this is you, visit these cities: Black Mountain, Burnsville, Hot Springs, Marshall, Mars Hill, or Weaverville.
Smoky Mountains and Far West are areas that appeal to the rugged and wild- if this is you, visit: Andrews, Bryson City, Cherokee, Franklin, Hayesville, Murphy, Robbinsville, or Sylva.
The Foothills and Brushy Mountains are for the relaxed and mellow and the creative and risk-taking- if this is you, visit: Gastonia, Hickory, Lenoir, Morganton, Shelby, Statesville, or Wilkesboro.
Southern Mountains appeal to the more refined and cultured- if this is you, visit: Brevard, Cullowhee, Flat Rock, Hendersonville, Highlands, Rutherfordton, Saluda, or Tryon.
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Let's Try Something New...
Let's Try Glamping!
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While you are in the mountains, try mountaintop glamping…. Yes, try a new thing! Check out The Glamping Collective in Clyde, North Carolina (about 30 minutes outside of Asheville, NC) at www.theglampingcollective.com - try a Dome, Luxe Dome, Glass Cabin, or Luxe Glass Cabin. We haven’t tried it yet, but this is my kind of camping…. 'glamorous' (comfy and luxurious) camping = glamping!
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Let's go explore some of North Carolina’s 62 scenic byways. To decide where to go visit www.NCDOT.GOV/SCENIC and download a copy of the NC Byways Guidebook for ideas. When you go for a drive, slow down, roll down the window and breathe in the wonderful mountain, piedmont, or coastal air!
If you suffer with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), this time of year (Fall/Winter), a nice drive that includes stopping and walking in the sunlight, may help you feel better. SAD is a type of depression that is related to changes in seasons. SAD is sometimes called "winter depression" or “winter blues” because the symptoms are usually more apparent and more severe during the Fall/Winter. As the days get shorter and colder, the lack of sunlight can leave you feeling sad, experiencing low energy or you may experience changes in sleeping and eating habits (usually wanting to sleep and eat more) and not feel like socializing.
Again, take a drive, take a walk, and try to stay engaged even when you don't feel like it. While your spouse is driving, text your family members and friends to check on them (socialize) because this may help boost both your spirits and theirs.
Yes, the ‘fall back' that we did on November 6, 2022, when daylight savings time ended, is having a significant impact on some of us. Let’s check on each other! And, let's be especially supportive and compassionate of our spouses if they are struggling.
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Slow Down and Have A Cup of Tea |
Before you head back into town, stop by Kym R. Brown’s A Southern Cup Fine Teas, a boutique tearoom in Hendersonville, NC. She’s open Wednesday through Saturday from 11:00 a.m. until 4:00 p.m. For more information, visit her website, www.asoutherncup.com .
There is a health and wellness article on Today.com that states that tea has many health benefits: it contains antioxidants, has less caffeine than coffee, may reduce our risk of heart attack and stroke, protects our bones, gives us a sweet smile, bolsters our immune defenses, protects against cancer, helps keep us hydrated (if we don’t drink too much of it), it's calorie free, and it increases our metabolism. All great reasons to stop by this really cute tea boutique and drink a cup of tea.
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Do 4 Love by Snoh Aalegra (A Spotify Single)
Cydney’s 'Entrance of the Bride Song'
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Getting and staying organized, using this High-5 Banking Method, may be helpful.
(from Pinterest)
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If you need more luxury than you can get glamping in one of the luxurious domes or glass cabins mentioned earlier, hurricane season ended on November 30, 2022 (the Atlantic hurricane season is from June 1st - November 30th), hence, you may want to consider a cruise.
The best luxury cruise lines are:
If you’re on a tight budget, you may want to try one of these cruise liners:
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Ritz Carlton Yacht Collection |
Norwegian Joy- Norwegian Cruise Line
If you want to cruise and hang out with other couples and do some 'couples work' while cruising, Tri Team Unlimited- our friends Vernita and Ken Griffith, are sponsoring a Couples Baecation. They are going to cruise to Bermuda on the Norwegian Joy on August 30, 2023, through September 4, 2023. Please see https://triteamunlimited.com/ for more information.
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Black-owned Wineries in North Carolina |
Spotlighting the Black-owned tea shop in Hendersonville, NC reminded me to introduce to some and remind others of the following Black-owned wineries in North Carolina:
If you like to have a good time, you may want to get on the mailing list for Seven Springs Farm and Vineyard, because over the last couple of years they have hosted The Soul Picnic, Greekfest, Juneteenth Celebration, Seersucker and Sundress event, etc.
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Seven Springs Farm and Vineyard |
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Date Ideas
· Eagle Witt- December 7, 2022
· Ali Siddiq- December 9-11, 2022
· Shuler King- December 16-18, 2022
· Rodney Perry- December 22-23, 2022
· Donnell Rawlings- January 6-7, 2023
· DC Curry- February 3-5, 2023
· David James- February 10-11, 2023
· Jess Hilarious- February 24-25, 2023
· Daphnique Springs- March 2, 2023
· Brian Simpson- December 1-3, 2022
· KevOnStage- December 9-11, 2022
· Rob Schneider- December 16-17, 2022
· Jourdain Fisher- December 22-23, 2022
· Dusty Slay- December 29-31, 2022
· Gary Owen- January 13-15, 2023
· Adele Givens- January 27-29, 2023
· Kevin James Thornton- February 2, 2023
· Tony Rock- February 3-5, 2023
· Marlon Wayans- February 17-19, 2023
· Jesus Trejo- February 24-26, 2023
· Desi Banks- March 3-5, 2023
· David Lucas- March 9, 2023
· Craig Robinson- March 17-19, 2023
· Ismo- March 24-26, 2023
· Tracy Morgan- March 30- April 2, 2023
- The Dessertery (A holiday dessert café in the Kennedy Theater)- December 2, 4, 9, 10, 11, 16, 17, 18, 20, 21, 22, and 23, 2022
- Handel’s Messiah: NC Symphony- December 2-3, 2022, at 8:00 p.m.
- Scott Bradlee’s Postmodern Jukebox: A Very Postmodern Christmas- December 4, 2022, at 7:00 p.m.
- Holiday Pops: NC Symphony- December 9, 2022, at 3:00 p.m. and 8:00 p.m.
- Theatre in the Parks’ A Christmas Carol- December 9-11, 2022, at 2:00 p.m. and 7:00 p.m.
- North Carolina Master Chorale: Joy of the Season- December 13, 2022, at 7:30 p.m.
- Feliz Navidad: NC Symphony- December 14, 2022, at 7:30 p.m.
- The Wait Wait Stand Up Tour- December 15, 2022, at 7:00 p.m.
- The Nutcracker presented by PNC: Carolina Ballet- December 16-24, 2022, at 11:00 a.m., 2:00 p.m., and 7:00 p.m.
- Raleigh Ringers Holiday Concert- December 17-18, 2022, at 4:00 p.m.
- Jim Brickman: A Very Merry Christmas- December 20, 2022, at 7:30 p.m.
- George Lopez: OMG! Hi! Comedy Tour- January 15, 2023, at 8:00 p.m.
- Aretha: A Tribute by the NC Symphony- January 20-21, 2023, at 8:00 p.m.
- Dreamgirls: North Carolina Theatre- February 7-12, 2023, at 2:00 p.m. and 7:30 p.m.
- An Evening with Gregory Porter- February 24, 2023, at 8:00 p.m.
Carolina Hurricanes:
- December 15, 17, 18, 20, 23, 27, and 30, 2022
- January 5, 10, 14, 15, 19, 27, 29, and 31, 2023
- February 11, 16, 21, 24, and 25, 2023
- March 5, 9, 11, 14, 23, 25, 26, and 28, 2023
- CINCH: World’s Toughest Rodeo- January 21, 2023, at 7:30 p.m.
- Kem and Ledisi with Musiq Soulchild: The Soul II Soul Tour- March 10, 2023, at 8:00 p.m.
- Harlem Globetrotters- April 16, 2023, at 3:00 p.m.
- Lizzo with Special Guest: Latto- May 10, 2023, at 8:00 p.m.
- That Motown Band: Holiday Concert- December 3, 2022, at 7:00 p.m.
- Herb Alpert & Lani Hall: A Christmas Wish- December 7, 2022, at 8:00 p.m.
- J.B. Smoove: Physical Therapy Tour (Comedy)- January 21, 2023, at 8:00 p.m.
- Shana Tucker: ChamberSoul Cello and Songs- February 18, 2023, at 11:00 a.m.
- The War and Treaty: The Lover’s Game Tour- May 10, 2023, at 8:00 p.m.
- Elf: The Broadway Musical- December 1-4, 2022
- Carolina Ballet’s The Nutcracker- December 10-11, 2022
- Theatre in the Park’s A Christmas Carol - December 14-18, 2022
- A Magical Cirque Christmas- December 19, 2022
- Fantasia- December 22, 2022
- The Hip Hop Nutcracker with Special Guest MC Kurtis Blow- December 23, 2022
- TINA- The Tina Turner Musical at the DPAC- January 3-8, 2023
- Anthony Hamilton- January 13, 2023
- Cats - January 31, 2023- February 5, 2023
- Dancing with the Stars: LIVE! 2023 Tour- February 8, 2023
- Riverdance- February 24-26, 2023
- Trevor Noah - March 24-27, 2023
Black Nativity- November 26, 2022 - December 18, 2022
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Worship LIVE Holiday Tour: Pastor Mike, Jr., Fred Hammond, Israel Houghton, Dorinda Clark-Cole- December 18, 2022, at 7:30 p.m.
Kizzmekia Corbett Vaccine Scientist (Guilford College Bryan Series)- February 6, 2023, at 7:30 p.m.
Royal Comedy Tour: Arnez J., Bruce Bruce, Sommore, Lavell Crawford, Drankin- February 10, 2023, at 8:00 p.m.
Ain’t Too Proud: The Life and Times of The Temptations- March 14-19, 2023, at 7:30 p.m.
Buddy Guy The Legend: Damn Right Farewell with Special Guest Christone “Kingfish” Ingram- March 23, 2023, at 7:30 p.m.
Yolanda Adams Gospel with The Greensboro Symphony- March 25, 2023, at 8:00 p.m.
Branford Marsalis- May 11, 2023, at 7:30 p.m.
An interesting find…..
The ZUZU African Acrobats will perform at the Comma Performing Arts Center in Morganton, NC on February 9, 2023. See www.commaonline.org for tickets. The ZUZU Acrobats are a Tanzanian troupe who base their performances on two thousand years of history. They bring modern art, culture, and passion with them everywhere they go. ZUZU celebrates their niche culture of Dar Es Salaam through jaw dropping acrobatics, live music, singing, dancing, and more. See https://www.zuzuafricanacrobats.com/ for more information about this group!
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