The Newmans challenge couples to relax, relate, release and refocus; provide links to songs that will encourage us to refocus; share a great side dish recipe; remind us to consider marriage retreats; share great books to read about marriage, date night ideas, and more!
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In the movie,
Fences
, Troy reminds us that “
we’ve got to take the
crookeds
with the straights
”. We recently saw this movie on Netflix and loved it! If you’ve seen the movie you know that things in Troy and Rose’s marriage get real, real crooked….we won’t spoil it for those who haven’t seen it. Life is a combination of joys and pains/ crookeds and straights. In order to appreciate the straights, we must experience the crookeds. Ecclesiastes 7: 13 (NLT) says, “accept the way God does things, for who can straighten what he has made crooked? Not that God makes things crooked that would otherwise be straight, but that
God is all, in all
. He is in both the crookeds and the straights. And, our crookeds are not always the ‘real crookeds’ like alcoholism, drug abuse, mental illness, gambling addictions, gaming addictions, chronic unemployment, infidelity, cancer and other health issues. Sometimes our crooked is plain ole
weariness
- being mentally exhausted, tired, fatigued, frazzled, and burned out from trying to keep everything, especially the marriage, afloat.
Some of us are working too many jobs, in too many organizations, on too many committees, and putting our kids in everything, too…running here and there all- day, every day. I’m raising my hand....I'm guilty! And, we become short-tempered with our spouses and our Lord when we get exhausted and like Martha, we ask Jesus, “Lord, don’t you care that my
spouse
has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell him/her to help me!” (Luke 10: 38-42). And, the Lord is saying to us the same thing that he said to Martha….”you are worried and upset about a lot of things, but few things are needed- or indeed only one”. Jesus was asking Martha to prioritize…put Him first, and he wants us to do the same.
Let’s re-prioritize and put God first, then put each other first. God is there in the crooked, weariness that some of us have created in our lives and He wants to help us re-establish our peace and our joy.
To do so, we must remember what Whitley told us in the TV show,
A Different World
-
Relax, Relate, Release!
Relax-
stop; sit down; lay down-sleep; miss the meeting; don’t take the call;
rest
!
Relate-
relate to your
mate
….do something fun and relaxing; relate to your
God
…meditate and pray for purpose and direction and ask for forgiveness for being all over the place and not focusing on Him; and, relate to
family and friends
by spending more time with the people you love most.
Release-
release things, people, and activities that are not important
and release yourself, your spouse, and your family from unrealistic expectations!
Let's slow down and refocus!
In Love,
Paula and Sherman Newman
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Overcoming Weariness- Action Steps
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Relax, Relate, Release and REFOCUS
- Talk about and outline your goals for yourself, your marriage, and your family.
- Clarify your priorities.
- Talk about whether you think God is pleased with how you are currently living and whether He is pleased with your current/future goals.
- Talk about/analyze why you are doing all the things you are doing…activities/commitments.
- Write down all the events, activities, and commitments that consume your time (e.g. work, choir rehearsal, sorority committee meetings). Determine what things you could let go…which activities, which commitments.
- Outline and implement steps you will take to decrease your responsibilities, expectations, and commitments.
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Songs to Encourage Us to Refocus
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Click on the link and join in the praise....
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A Great Thanksgiving Side Dish
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Creamy Garlic Parmesan Broccoli & Bacon
Ingredients
·
8 ounces (250 g) bacon roughly chopped
·
2 tablespoons butter
·
1 onion diced
·
5 cloves garlic finely chopped
·
1 1/2 cups (400 ml) light cream (or for a richer sauce, you can use heavy or thickened cream)
·
1 1/2 teaspoons cornstarch mixed with 1 tablespoon water cornstarch slurry
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1 lb. broccoli florets, from 2-3 broccoli heads -- stems removed
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Salt and pepper to season
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1/2 cup fresh shredded or grated mozzarella
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1/3 cup fresh shredded or grated parmesan cheese
Instructions
1. Preheat broiler (on medium heat of you have the option).
2. Fry the bacon in a large oven-safe skillet over medium heat until crispy. Use a slotted spoon to transfer to a paper towel lined plate to soak up some of the oil. Set aside.
3. Drain most of the bacon fat from the pan, leaving about 1-2 tablespoons for added flavor (adjust this amount to your liking). In the same pan, melt the butter, add the onion and cook until transparent (about 2 minutes), while scraping up any browned bits leftover from the bacon. Add the broccoli and season with salt and pepper and cook while stirring occasionally for about 3 minutes, or until just turning vibrant in color.
4. Add in the garlic and stir it through the broccoli for 30 seconds, until fragrant. Pour in the cream, reduce heat down to low and let simmer for about 3-4 while stirring occasionally, or until the sauce thickens to your liking* (SEE NOTES)
(If sauce is too thin, stir in the cornstarch slurry to combine.)
5. Add the bacon and give everything a good mix to combine all of the flavors together. Top with the mozzarella and parmesan cheeses. Broil until cheese is bubbling and golden, and broccoli is done to your liking (about 2-3 minutes).
6. Season with a little extra pepper, if desired, before serving. You can also sprinkle with fresh chopped parsley, thyme or rosemary.
Recipe Notes
*For tender-crisp broccoli, simmer it in the cream sauce for 3 minutes before broiling in the oven. Remember, the longer you cook it, the softer it gets.
*For softer broccoli, simmer for at least 5-6 minutes in the sauce before broiling. You can also cover with a lid for a minute or two to ensure softer broccoli pieces.
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Marriage Retreats/Workshops
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FamilyLife Weekend to Remember,
November 30- December 2, 2018
at the Raleigh Convention Center, 500 S. Salisbury Street, Raleigh, NC 27601; host hotel,
Raleigh Marriott City Center,
500 Fayetteville Street, Raleigh, NC 27601- $149/night until November 12, 2018,
https://www.familylife.com/weekend-to-remember/
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- Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy by Gary Thomas
- A Lifelong Love: What If Marriage Is About More Than Just Staying Together by Gary Thomas
- The Five Languages of Apology by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas
- Loving Him Well: Practical Advice on Influencing Your Husband by Gary Thomas
- One More Try: What to Do When Your Marriage Is Falling Apart by Gary Chapman
- The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Marriage by Stephen and Sandra Covey
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Special Holiday Weekend Getaway Suggestion
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Candlelight Christmas Evenings at the Biltmore
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November 3, 2018 – January 5, 2019
Biltmore House greets you with the soft glow of luminaries and holiday lights on a towering Norway spruce. Inside, thousands of ornaments on dozens of Christmas trees reflect the flicker of candlelight, firelight, and twinkle lights. Live performances of Christmas music add to your self-guided evening visit, which includes admission to Antler Hill Village & Winery. The Village is a must-see part of your holiday experience: trees, buildings, and pathways to our restaurants, shops, and Winery are illuminated with a glittering cascade of lights, the fountain is aglow with special visual effects, and the champagne bubble ornament display that adorns the Winery’s Tasting Room ceiling is nothing short of stunning.
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- Lizz Wright- Saturday, 10/27/18, at 8:00 p.m. at the Carolina Theater, Durham, NC
- RBRM: Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky & Mike, Sunday, 10/28/18 at 7:30 p.m., Durham Performing Arts Center (DPAC)
- The Ultimate Praise Homecoming Gospel Concert featuring Erica Campbell and Anthony Brown & Group TherAPy- NC Central University- Tuesday, 10/30/18 at 7:00 p.m. at NC Central University’s McDougald-McLendon Arena
- Kenny “Babyface” Edmonds, Thursday, 11/1/18 at 7:30 p.m. at the Florence Center in Florence, SC
- Drink and Draw (inspired by the Ernie Barnes exhibit)- Friday, 11/2/18 at 5:00 p.m. NC Museum of History, Raleigh, NC
- Queen Naija- Friday, 11/2/18 at 8:00 p.m. at Cone Denim Entertainment Center in Greensboro, NC
- NC A&T State University Homecoming Concert (Cardi B, 2 Chainz, Ella Mai, Lil Baby)- Saturday, 11/3/18 at 7:30 p.m. at the Greensboro Coliseum
- NC A&T State University Homecoming Gospel Concert- Kirk Franklin on Sunday, 11/4/18 at 6:00 p.m. at the Greensboro Coliseum
- Food Truck Rodeo featuring Niito- Sunday, 11/4/18 at 12:00 p.m. at Durham Central Park
- Hamilton (Touring)- Thursday, 11/8/18 at 7:30 p.m. at DPAC
- Carolina Hurricanes versus Detroit Red Wings- Saturday, 11/10/18 at 7:00 p.m. at PNC Arena
- Stanley Baird- Saturday, 11/10/18 at 7:00 p.m. at the Beyu Caffe, Durham, NC
- Nothing But R&B- 2nd Saturdays- Saturday, 11/10/18 at the Cartier Lounge in Durham, NC
- PJ Morton with Grace Weber- Thursday, 11/15/18 at 8:00 p.m. at the Lincoln Theater
- Kamasi Washington- Thursday, 11/15/18 at 8:00 p.m. at The Ritz
- African Fashions Pop-up Shop- Saturday, 11/17/18 at 10:00 a.m. at the Hilton Garden Inn Raleigh Triangle Town Center
- Inaugural Black Farmers Market- Sunday, 11/18/18 at 12:00 p.m. at 411 W. Chapel Hill Street in Durham, NC
- Tech N9ne- Sunday, 11/18/18 at 8:00 p.m. at the Cone Denim Entertainment Center
- A Motown Christmas- Friday, 11/23/18 at 8:00 p.m. at the Carolina Theater
- North Carolina State University at UNC Chapel Hill (Football)- Saturday, 11/24/18 at Kenan Stadium
- The Internet- Hive Mind Tour- Tuesday, 11/27/18 at 8:00 p.m. at The Ritz
- LIT AF Tour hosted by Martin Lawrence- Saturday, 12/15/18 at 7:30 p.m. at PNC Arena in Raleigh, NC
- Ozuna- Saturday, 12/15/18 at 8:00 p.m. at the Greensboro Coliseum
- Daniel D & Eric Stanley Live in Concert- Saturday, 12/15/18 at the Carolina Theater
- Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer: The Musical- Saturday, 12/15/18 at 5:00 p.m. at the Duke Energy Center for Performing Arts
- The Hip-Hop Nutcracker- Thursday, 12/20/18 at 7:30 p.m. at the DPAC
- Carolina Ballet presents The Nutcracker- Saturday, 12/22/18 at 7:00 p.m. at the Duke Energy Center for Performing Arts
- Haeco International- Friday, 12/28/18 at 11:00 a.m. at the Greensboro Coliseum
- Harlem Globetrotters- Sunday, 12/30/18 at 6:00 p.m. at the PNC Arena
- Steel Magnolias- ends on 11/3/18 at The Barn Dinner Theater in Greensboro, NC
- Black Nativity- 11/16/18 through 12/16/18 at The Barn Dinner Theater in Greensboro, NC
- Donnell Rawlings- 11/1/18 – 11/3/18 at Charlie Goodnight’s Comedy Club in Raleigh, NC
- Arnez J- 11/23/18- 11/25/18 at Charlie Goodnight’s Comedy Club in Raleigh, NC
- Theater in the Park: A Christmas Carol- Saturday, 12/8/18 at 2:00 p.m. at Duke Energy Center for Performing Arts
- Kwanzaa Fest 2019- Tuesday, 1/1/19 at 12:00 p.m. at the Durham Armory
- Elon University Speaker Series: Anita Hill- Thursday, 1/10/19 at 6:00 p.m. in the Elon University McCrary Theater
- Trevor Noah: Loud and Clear Tour- Saturday, 1/19/19 at 8:00 p.m. at the PNC Arena
- African American Theater Preview- Sunday, 1/20/19 at 7:00 p.m. at the Raleigh Little Theater
- A Celebration of Movement Inspired by Ernie Barnes- Friday, 1/25/19 at 7:00 p.m. at the NC Museum of History in Raleigh, NC
- Toni Braxton with Special Guests SWV- As Long As I Live Tour- Thursday, 1/31/19 at 7:30 p.m. at DPAC
- Cher: Here We Go Again Tour- Sunday, 1/27/18 at 7:30 p.m. at the PNC Arena
- The Black Business Gala- Saturday, 2/2/19 at 6:00 p.m. at the Durham Armory
- Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater- Wednesday, 2/27/19 at 7:30 p.m. at the Gaillard Center in Charleston, SC
- Elon University Speaker Series: Loretta Lynch- Thursday, 2/28/19 at 6:30 p.m. at the Elon University School of Law
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To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup,
Whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up. – Ogden Nash
To get the full value of joy, you must have somebody to divide it with. – Mark Twain
There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved. – George Sand
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. – Lao Tzu
There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love. – Bryant H. McGill
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. – Mignon McLaughlin
Love will find a way through paths where wolves fear to prey. – Lord Byron
It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages. – Friedrich Nietzsche
Love is when the other person’s happiness is more important than your own. – H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
True love stories never have endings. – Richard Bach
I have found the one whom my soul loves. – Song of Solomon 3:4
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