|
LoveNote 2
Couples' Newsletter
October 2016
|
We reviewed the newsletters that we've published over the years to see what topics haven't been covered and low and behold, we realized we haven't covered the topic that is one of the top reasons for divorce....Finances! We probably haven't covered this topic because it's our Achilles heel. Most of our disagreements revolve around finances, but we are willing to share what we've learned and what we believe God says about marriage and money.
As married couples' we deal with spouses who engage in impulse buying; loaning/giving money to family and friends without consulting the other; refusing to pool resources; do not pay their tithes; not saving, but, spending, spending, spending; experience difficulty maintaining employment; do not pay their assigned bills on time; do not stick to the agreed upon plan, etc.
We hear you saying, "I wouldn't deal with that!" How did you get this newsletter? Are you sure you're married? You must be married to a saint! The financial struggles couples experience lead to emotional withdrawal, constant arguing, ignoring or refusing to deal with anything associated with finances, and/or separating funds to protect themselves when they cannot resolve the issues.
Some bad habits we see before we say, "I do" ...other bad habits we don't get to see until we are under the same roof. However,
Mark 10:8, reminds us,
"...and the two will become one flesh. So, they are no longer two, but one flesh." We
know.... sometimes we pick and choose which scriptures we want to live by, and sometimes this isn't one. But, based on this scripture, all money at
our house is
our money. We have a joint account from which we pay all bills; we have a joint savings accounts; and we have individual checking accounts for our allowances....money we get every two weeks to spend the way we want to (i.e. gas, lunch, clothes, entertainment). But, at the end of the day, regardless of what account it's in, it's all
ours.
We understand that because of some of the issues mentioned above, plus substance use issues, mental health issues, etc. some couples may not be able to practice this principle in the same way. And, even in marriages with two perfectly healthy adults, people have different values, beliefs, levels of discipline, and money management skills, that often clash. But, the more we work together to get on the same page around financial issues the more we grow and mature in our marriage and in our faith. We agree with Dennis and Barbara Rainey who maintain that how we handle money and how we treat our spouse, regarding financial issues, says a lot about
our character and our commitment and devotion to Christ. We'll take it a step further and say, how you handle money says a lot about your commitment and devotion to your spouse.
Working through finances as a couple requires clear and consistent communication. And, at least one of you needs to know the financial rules of engagement. Please read the blog attached to this
link to confirm that you know the rules of financial engagement. Mature, successful, couples spend time talking about and establishing household rules around money (i.e. no borrowing money, no lending money, no purchases over X dollars without consulting the other), developing a budget, and setting financial goals. If you are not there yet, we pray that God will help you grow and prosper in this area. When setting goals financial and life goals, remember to assess whether the goals are what you want as an individual or what you want as a couple/family and whether it's what God wants, for you. Pray that God's will be done. Pray to be good stewards of what he has already provided.
Read, pray about, and discuss the following scriptures and use them as a financial guide:
- Luke 12:15: "Then he said to them, Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist an abundance of possessions". (PSN: Teach your children what to value.)
- Luke 12: 22: Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear.(PSN: There is no need to worry...He will provide even if it's not in the way we want or expect.)
- Luke 12: 31: But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well. (PSN: Focus on Him.)
- Psalm 24:1: The earth is the Lord's, and everything in it....
(PSN: We brought nothing into this world and we will take nothing out...it's His!)
- Colossians 1:16: ...all things have been created through him and for him.(PSN: It's not about us or our 'happiness'.)
- Matthew 25: 14-30, especially verse 15: To one he gave five bags of gold, to another two bags, and to another one bag, each according to his ability.
(PSN: per Pastor Hammond...you don't have more, because you can't handle more!)
- Luke 16: 10-12: Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. So, if you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches? And if you have not been trustworthy with someone else's property, who will give you property of your own?
(PSN: Check your credit score for the answer to these questions.)
- Psalm 37:21: The wicked borrow and do not repay, but the righteous give generously.
- Proverbs 22:7: The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender.
- Proverbs 22:26-27: Do not be one who shakes hands in pledge or puts up security for debts; if you lack the means to pay, your very bed will be snatched from under you.
(PSN: Don't co-sign on other's debt or put up collateral for others. If you can't pay, you will lose your own bed.)
- Luke 16: 13: You cannot serve both God and money.
- Proverbs 3:9: Honor the Lord with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops; then your barn will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine. (PSN: Tithe...honor Him by giving back the ten percent that he requires.)
- Romans 13: 6-7: This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God's servants, who give their full time to governing.
Give to everyone what you owe them: if you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor.
- Romans 13:8: Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law.
- 1 Timothy 5:8: Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.(PSN: Take care of your family, especially your children, if you profess you are a child of God; don't misrepresent God.)
- Isaiah 55:2: Why spend money on bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy?(PSN: Is it satisfying you or are you still thirsty?)
- Luke 14: 28: Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won't you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it?(PSN: Don't move forward without a plan; fail to plan...plan to fail.)
- James 4: 13-15: Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money. Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while then vanishes. Instead, you ought say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that". (PSN: You may make a plan, but at the end of the day...He's in control.)
- Ephesians 5: 17: Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is.
- Psalm 32: 8:
I
will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.
- Psalm 133: 1: How good and pleasant it is when God's people
live together in unity!
There are more than two thousand verses on money and money management, but let's start with these scripture and commit to continuing to live in harmony as we figure out how to share money, manage money and serve God and not money.
With all our love,
Paula and Sherman Newman
|
|
Words and Phrases to Use More Often When Talking to Your Spouse:
- Beautiful
- Awesome
- Precious
- Thank You
- I Love You
- I Miss You
- Good Morning
- Goodnight
- I'm Sorry
- Cherish
- Proud
- Remarkable
- Terrific
- Amazing
- Brilliant
- Intelligent
- Excellent
- Incredible
- Perfect
- Extraordinary
- Fabulous
- Fantastic
- Impressive
- Lovely
- Gorgeous
- Special
- Wonderful
- Handsome
- Strong
- Fine
- Helpful
- Great
- Invaluable
|
10 Ways to Love
Listen without interrupting
Speak without accusing
Give without sparing
Pray without ceasing
Answer without arguing
Share without pretending
Enjoy without complaint
Trust without wavering
Forgive without punishing
Promise without forgetting
|
Fun Things to Do
-
- A Night of Mystery and Murder, Monday, October 31st at 5:00 p.m. at Maggiano's Little Italy Restaurant
- Love Machine the Musical, October 22- November 22nd at The Barn Dinner Theatre in Greensboro, NC
- Brian Culbertson, Tuesday, November 1st at 8:00 p.m. at the Carolina Theatre
- UNC-Chapel Hill versus UNC Pembroke Basketball, Friday, November 4th at 7:30 p.m. at the Dean Smith Center
- Bob Dylan, Friday, November 4th at 8:00 p.m. at the DPAC
- Raleigh Music Festival with Keith Sweat, K-Ci and JoJo, Avant, and Mint Condition, Friday, November 4th at 8:00 p.m. at PNC Arena
- The Durham Chapter of Jack and Jill of America, Inc. presents the Bull City Masquerade fundraiser on Saturday, November 12th at 8:00 p.m. at the Sheraton Chapel Hill Hotel, see www.bullcitymasquerade.eventbrite.com
- Alicia Garza, Co-Founder of Black Lives Matter will present a seminar on Black Lives Matter And The Vital Role of Students, on Tuesday, November 15th at 6:30 p.m. at The Sonja Haynes Stone Center for Black Culture and History on the campus of UNC Chapel Hill
- The Temptations and Four Tops, Friday, November 18th at 8: 00 p.m. at DPAC
- The Chi Rho Omega Chapter (Knightdale, NC) of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. will host the 5th Annual Pink Ice Scholarship Gala, Saturday, November 19th at 6:30 p.m. at the North Raleigh Hilton. Purchase tickets at http://bit.ly/2dmfdX1
- Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer the Musical, Saturday, November 26th at 11: 00 a.m. or 2:00 p.m. at the Duke Energy Center for Performing Arts
- Maxwell and Mary J. Blige, Saturday, November 26th at 7:00 p.m. at the Greensboro Coliseum
- Hip Hop Nutcracker, Saturday, November 26th at 7:30 p.m. at the DPAC
- Black Nativity, November 26- December 13th at The Barn Dinner Theatre
- Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas the Musical, Tuesday, November 29th at 7:30 p.m. at DPAC
- Paula Poundstone, Thursday, December 1st at 8:00 p.m. at the Duke Energy Center for Performing Arts
- Theatre in the Park: A Christmas Carol, Wednesday, December 7th at 7:00 p.m. at the Duke Energy Center for Performing Arts
- Carolina Ballet presents The Nutcracker, Friday, December 9th at 7:00 p.m. at DPAC
- Lauren Hill, Sunday, December 11th at 8:00 p.m. at The Ritz in Raleigh, NC
- Glass Slippers Are So Back: Cinderella, Saturday, December 31st at 8:00 p.m. at the DPAC
- Cinch Rodeo, Saturday, January 7th at 7:30 p.m. at PNC Arena
- Hypnotic Brass Ensemble, Tuesday, January 24th at 8:00 p.m. at the Carolina Theatre
- The Comedy Get Down with Cedric "The Entertainer", Eddie Griffin, D.L. Hughley, George Lopez, and Charlie Murphy, Friday, January 27th at 8:00 p.m. at PNC Arena
- Monster Jam, Saturday, January 28th at 7:00 p.m. at PNC Arena
- Always Patsy Cline, Saturday, January 28th at 7:30 p.m. at the Duke Energy Center for Performing Arts
- NC Symphony: Mozart's Birthday, Saturday, January 28th at 8:00 p.m. at the Duke Energy Center for Performing Arts
- 2016-2017 Bryan Series Featuring Neil deGrasse Tyson, Tuesday, January 31st at 7:00 p.m. at the Greensboro Coliseum
- A Night of Fire and Desire: Burning Flame Annual Couples Gala, Saturday, February 18th at 7:00 p.m. at the Marriott Crabtree in Raleigh, NC
- The Bodyguard, Wednesday, March 15th at 7:30 p.m. at the DPAC
- Black Violin, Thursday, March 23rd at 8:00 p.m. at Carolina Theatre
- Harlem Globetrotters, Friday, March 24th at 7:00 p.m. at the Lawrence Joel Veterans Memorial Coliseum
- Harlem Globetrotters, Saturday, March 25th at 2:00 p.m. and 7:00 p.m. at the PNC Arena
More Fun Ideas:
|
|
|
Contact Information Sherman and Paula Newman, 919-730-1107 or lovenote2@hotmail.com |
|
|
|
|