The Newmans' share their thoughts regarding the call for husbands to "lead"; offer an interesting idea for a "We Are In Love" project as well as  great date ideas .

Newmans
Couples' Newsletter  September 2017
LoveNote2

 

One of me and my husband's favorite topics is "men". We started a mentoring program for young men ages 20-30, in 2016, because we are concerned about the plight of African American males. Last weekend we facilitated a two-day Couples Retreat and during the retreat we facilitated gender role breakout sessions. Sherman led the men's breakout session where he talked to them about their responsibilities to 1) become servant- leaders (Ephesians 5:23), 2) love unselfishly (Ephesians 5: 25-27), and 3) be caring (Ephesians 5:28-30). Regarding the call to lead, Ephesians 5: 23, says,"for the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the Church; his body of which he is the Savior."

Prior to the breakout sessions we showed T.D. Jakes', The Truth about Men video clip, in which  T.D. Jakes shares how hard it is to be a man. This sparked a lot of insightful conversation in both breakout sessions. Even when loving and caring have been mastered, sometimes leading is a challenge for husbands. And, this has been a challenge since the beginning of time. In Genesis 3:6, we see that the serpent approaches Eve about eating from the tree and Adam was standing right there and did not step forward to say that they were not going to disobey God. He was standing right there during the entire conversation. The serpent did not talk to Eve alone and she later tell Adam, but Adam was right there. Some husbands are very passive and refuse to lead; and, others lead in a domineering and oppressive manner.

Myles Munroe, author of Understanding the Purpose and Power of Men, writes about the male in crisis. We find ourselves constantly trying to reconcile the male crisis : the percentage of men in prisons, on drugs, carrying the AIDS virus, engaged in subculture gangs, and those who revel in oppressing women and perpetuating domestic violence, with the call for men to lead . And, the men not involved in any of the crises noted are still struggling to find their place in this world that has changed so much over the years. Munroe says that men have inner uncertainty about what it means to be a man, a husband, and a father. This uncertainty is caused by the mixed signals given by society; the clash between traditional views and new contemporary ideas. Should men be equal partners with women or breadwinners and protectors? Should they treat women as equals or treat them with special care and courtesy, like you would treat weaker vessels (1 Peter 3:7)?

Historically, husbands went out to hunted, farmed, and provided food and shelter for their families. Wives stayed home to have and care for the children. There were no birth control alternatives. Husbands struggled to put food on the table, roofs over their family's heads, and clothes on their backs. Wives looked to their husbands for leadership; they valued his contribution to their survival; and they depended on him. The wife's role was to cook meals, bathe the children, wash clothes, get the children off to school, nurture and discipline the children and create a home. Relationships were easier because there was no confusion about roles and there was interdependence. Wives honored and respected their husbands because they provided for them. Husbands loved and honored their wives because they bore children for them and maintained the house and the children.

Now, men and women both work and provide the home and the food. Biology doesn't determine our roles. Women are making fertility decisions alone regarding whether or not they will have babies, how many to have, when to have them, and which childcare options to utilize. Women have their own money and can financially support their own needs. They don't need a husband for survival or protection. If the husband is no longer the breadwinner, and the wife and children do not depend on him for anything, what does he do to feel valued and respected? How does he answer his call to lead? As we ponder these questions we usually come up with more questions than answers.
The only answer we have to questions about men being "the head" is that God said, he is the head/the lead. Over the years, the questions we get include:
  • What if he is not godly?
  • What if he is an alcoholic?
  • What if he is an addict?
  • What if he is mentally ill?
  • What if he is chronically unemployed?
  • What if he is not smart (intellectually)?
  • What if he is physically abusive?

What we know and believe is that through God all things are possible. And, that if we believe that he came and died and rose again so that we might have a right to everlasting life, he can and he will provide us with the answers and the direction that we need in any and all individual situations. We know he is a loving and forgiving God. And, at the end of the day, we are called to love one another and to put others, especially our spouses above ourselves (Philippians 2: 3-4). We will continue to pray for ways to navigate the new family dynamics; and, pray for men to gain strength, courage, and insight regarding how to be effective leaders in their households and communities.

With Love,

Paula and Sherman Newman


 

We Did It Again!
 
On July 12, 2017, while on vacation in Las Vegas, NV, we renewed our vows at Chapel of the Flowers. We had a blast and highly recommend you try it,   www.littlechapel.com 


Go On A Romantic Train Ride


Fall is here! And, AAA suggests that we "soak up autumn colors as passengers on a railroad train. Take a drive to Bryson City...near Asheville, NC and get on the  Great Smoky Mountains Railroad , or try one of these others:

 

 

 

"We Are In Love" Project!


 







Create a "We Are In Love" photo book of pictures of just the two of you and leave as a legacy of love for your family:

Poses:
  • Holding hands
  • Kissing
  • Bare feet on the ottoman together
  • In a hammock together
  • Sliding down a slide together at a park
  • Snuggling on the couch
  • Lying on a blanket in the grass, looking up at the stars
  • Dancing
  • Wearing matching t-shirts
  • Sharing an ice cream cone or milkshake
  • Feeding each other
  • Playing in the ocean
  • Fixing a meal together in the kitchen
  • Playing a sport together
  • Wedding rings
  • Exercising together
  • Enjoying a romantic dinner at home or at a restaurant
  • Husband lifting the wife
  • Dressed for church and/or a formal event
  • In attendance at a sporting event
  • Playing in the snow
  • Entering your house/apartment
  • In a corn field
  • On swings in a park
  • Under a pool shower or beach shower with your swimsuits 
  • On the floor at home on a blanket in front of the fireplace
  • At church on a pew
  • Praying
  • Pillow fighting
  • On the bed reading magazines
  • At a campfire roasting hotdogs and/or marshmallows
  • At a fair or carnival
  • City street pose
  • Lying in the Fall leaves
  • Underwater kiss
  • Tub of bubbles
  • Halloween costumes
  • Holiday pictures
    • New Year's Eve
    • Valentine's Day
    • Fourth of July
    • Easter
    • Thanksgiving
    • Christmas

Please see the list below of a few photographers to contact for photographs of some of the above poses, if you want professional pictures. Or, you can just ask your family and friends to help you take and collect these photos: 


Let's Get Away!


Do you have some extra money and want to go far, far away? 

Or, do you want to stay a little closer to home, but go somewhere? 

 

 

Couples'/Marriage Retreats
  • Weekend to Remember by FamilyLife
    Friday and Saturday, November 17-19, 2017 at the Raleigh Convention Center, Raleigh, NC 27601. Cost: $149.99. There is a special getaway hotel rate for Weekend to Remember at the Sheraton Raleigh Hotel, 421 S. Salisbury Street, Raleigh, NC 27601, $129.00/night available, until October 23, 2017, and subject to availability. Event parking is $7/day at the Convention Center. Please see www.familylifeministries.org/weekend-to-remember, for more information.
  • "Reclaiming Our Time" Marriage Retreat in Savannah, Georgia in January 2018 Facilitators: Dewey and Lynne Williams, Sherman and Paula Newman, and Jeremy and Ashley Gilmore. Please see the flyer below for information and please join us!
Highlights from the  "Exploring New Dimensions of Oneness" Couples Retreat that we facilitated for Pastor and First Lady Ron and Carol Regular and the Rowland Chapel Christian Church family on September 15-16, 2017 at the Doubletree by Hilton, Durham, NC:


Working hard on marriages.


A beautiful example of oneness.


Rowland Chapel Christian Church Couples recommit to one another and commit to taking oneness to the next level in their relationships!
Date Night Ideas 



      • Circus 1903- Tues., 9/26- Sun. 10/01, at 7:30 p.m at DPAC, www.dpacnc.com
      • NC Muscadine Festival, Fri., 9/29- Sat., 9/30, in Kenansville, NC, www.ncmuscadinefestival.com
      • Loretta Lynn, Fri., 9/29, 8 p.m at the Carolina Theater, www.carolinatheatre.org
      • Al Strong at Brasa, 8551 Brier Creek Parkway, Raleigh, NC on 9/29, 7 p.m.-10 p.m., www.alstrongmusic.com
      • Marcus Anderson at the Myrtle Beach Jazz Festival, Fri., 9/29 at 8 p.m. a.m.,   www.marcusanderson.net
      • Al Strong at C. Grace, 407 Glenwood Avenue, Raleigh, NC 27606, 9 p.m.- 1 a.m.
      • Momma's Boy- Tues., 10/3 at 8 p.m at Duke Energy Center for Performing Arts, www.dukeenergycenterraleigh.com
      • TajMo: The Taj Mahal & Keb' MO' Band, Wed. 10/4, at        8 p.m at DPAC
      • Myrtle Beach Seafood Festival 2017, 8th Avenue, North Myrtle Beach, SC 29577, Friday, 10/6 at 6 p.m.- Saturday, 10/7 at 7 p.m.
      • Roast and Toast on the Coast, Fri.- Sun., 10/6-8, on Bald Head Island, NC, www.roasttoastcoast.com
      • NC A&T Homecoming Concert, Sat.,10/7, 7:30 p.m, Greensboro Coliseum
      • Art of Cool Fest Charlotte with Al Strong Quartet, Saturday, 10/07, 12 noon- 5:00 p.m. at The Evening Muse, 3227 N. Davidson Street, Charlotte, NC 28205. Go to   www.aocfestcharlotte.eventbrite.com, for tickets
      • NC A&T Gospel Concert featuring The Mann's Family Tour- Sun., 10/8, 6 p.m, at the Greensboro Coliseum
      • Bruno Mars : 24K Magic World Tour- Thurs., 10/12, 8 p.m, at PNC Arena
      • NC State Fair 2017, Thurs.- Sun., October 12-22, 2017, www.ncstatefair.org
      • Drumline Live: Cadence of the Drums- Sat, 10/14, 12 p.m at The Fieldhouse in Greensboro NC, www.drumlinelive.com
      • Tim McGraw- Soul2Souls The World Tour 2017- Sat.,10/14, 7:30 p.m, Greensboro  Coliseum
      • NC Symphony- Toe Tapping Pops- Sat.,10/14, 8 p.m Duke Energy Center for Performing Arts
      • Before You Say I Do- Sun.,10/15, 7 p.m, Duke Energy Center for Performing Arts
      • NC RV and Camping Show- Fri., 10/20 and Sat. 10/21, at 10 a.m, and Sun. 10/22 at 11 a.m. at the Greensboro Coliseum
      • Lecrae- All things Work Together Tour, Fri. 10/20, 7 p.m, at The Ritz
      • Ira Knight's Original One Man Play, Mandela: An Interpretation, Friday, 10/20; Saturday, 10/21 at 8 p.m.; and, Sunday, 10/22 at 5:30 p.m. at the Carrboro ArtsCenter, 300 East Main Street, Carrboro, NC 27510. Go to   www.iraknight.org for tickets.
      • Jeezy with Special Guest Juvenile- Fri., 10/27, 8 p.m, DPAC
      • Miami Hurricanes vs UNC, Sat. 10/28, at Kenan Stadium
      • Damon Tweedy, Author of Black Man in a White Coat at Epworth United Methodist Church, 3002 Hope Valley Road, Durham, NC 27707 on Sunday, 10/29, 3 p.m.- 4:30 p.m.
      • Charlie Wilson: In It To Win It" Concert- Sat., 10/28, 8 p.m, at PNC Arena
      • WWE Live, Mon. 10/30, 7:30 p.m, at PNC Arena
      • Boney James, Tues. 10/31, 8 p.m, Duke Energy Center for Performing Arts
      • Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, Thurs. 11/2, 11/3, and 11/4 at 8 p.m at the Greensboro Coliseum
      • Clemson Tigers vs NCSU, Sat. 11/4, at Carter Finley Stadium
      • Bowie State vs Duke (Basketball), Sat. 11/4 at 1 p.m at Cameron Indoor Stadium
      • The Temptations Revue- Featuring Nate Evans- Sun., 11/5, at 7 p.m at Duke Energy Center for Performing Arts
      • Carolina Hurricanes vs. Chicago Blackhawks, Sat., 11/11, 7 p.m at PNC Arena
      • Irma Thomas, Blind Boys of Alabama & Preservation Hall Legacy Quintet- Mon. 11/13, at 8 p.m, at the Carolina Theatre
      • Guilford College Bryan Series presents  Leslie Odom, Jr.- Wed. 11/15, 7:30 p.m, Greensboro Coliseum
      • Gypsy, Sat. 11/18 at 2 p.m & 7:30 p.m at Duke Energy Center for Performing Arts
      • Hip Hop Nutcracker- Fri., 11/24, 2 p.m at DPAC
      • Carolina Ballet presents Handels' Messiah, Fri., 11/24,      8 p.m at Duke Energy Center for Performing Arts
      • A Motown Christmas Starring The Motown Experience, Fri., 11/24, 8 p.m, Carolina Theatre
      • UNC vs NCSU (Football)- Sat., 11/25, TBD
      • Carolina Ballet presents the Nutcracker, Sat 12/9, 2 p.m, DPAC
      • Charlie Goodnights, www.goodnightscomedy.com
        • Arnez J.- Friday, 9/29- Sunday, 10/1- 7:30 p.m. and 10:00 p.m.
        • Deray Davis- Friday, 10/27- Sunday, 10/29- 7:30 p.m. and 10:00 p.m.
        • Ron Funches- Friday, 11/10- Sunday, 11/12- 7:30 p.m. and 10:00 p.m.
        • John Witherspoon- Thursday, 11/16- Saturday, 11/18, 7:30 p.m. and 10:00 p.m.
      • The Barn Dinner Theater, www.barndinner.com
        • Blind Lemon Blues, 9/29 -10/28/17
        • Black Nativity, 11/11- 12/23/17
        • Groovin' Christmas, 12/3- 12/8/17
      • NC Museum of Art is showing Mahogany (1975) in the East Building, SECU Auditorium on 12/8 at 8 p.m., www.ncartmuseum.org
      • North Carolina Art Museum- Inspiring Beauty: 50 Years of Ebony Fashion Fair Exhibit (40 stunning outfits), 10/28/17- 1/21/18. Tickets go on sale 10/03/17 at 10:00 a.m.
      • Raleigh Fleamarket, NC State Fairgrounds, 1025 Blue Ridge Road, Raleigh, NC 27607; Open Weekends, Rain or Shine,   9 a.m.- 6 p.m.
      • Pumpkin patches, corn mazes, and hay rides-
        • Phillips Farm, 6701 Good Hope Church Road, Cary, NC 27519
        • Granville Corn Maze, 4534 US Highway 15, Oxford NC 27565
      • Big City Hunt: Self-Guided Scavenger Hunt, 200 S. McDowell Street, Raleigh, NC 27601, www.cityhunt.com

       


 
Great, Easy, Simple Recipe: 

Pesto Chicken

  • boneless skinless chicken breast halves
  • 1/2 cup basil pesto (we prefer the Simply brand)
  • 2 -3 R oma tomatoes , sliced
  • 1/2 cup mozzarella cheese, shredded
Directions
  1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit
  2. Line baking sheet with heavy-duty foil
  3. Brush/coat both sides of the chicken with the pesto
  4. Place chicken on prepared baking sheet
  5. Bake for 20-25 minutes or until chicken is no longer pink in the center
  6. Remove from oven; top with sliced tomatoes and shredded cheese.
  7. Bake for an additional 3-5 minutes or until cheese is melted.

 



Sherman and Paula Newman | NIFS | 919-730-1107 | lovenote2@hotmail.com  |   http://www.newmanskillbuilding.com
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