"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.” (2 Corinthians 4:8-10)
There is a saying that “growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional.” There is a progression to our maturity. Anthony De Mello, a Jesuit priest suggested four steps that mature people will take.
First, what people need to do is get in touch with the negative feelings of which they're not even aware. Mature people are aware of their feelings. Second, people need to understand that the feeling is inside of them. The notice of feelings in us and understanding that these feelings are in us is a sign of maturity. Thirdly, mature people never identify with that feeling. “I am not depressed but I am just experiencing depression.” I feel depression in me there right now, there are hurt feelings in me there right now, but it will pass. Fourthly, mature people finally realize the fact that they are the ones who need to change. Immature people feel good because the situation is right. Wrong! We spend all our time and energy trying to change external circumstances and everybody else. However, I am the one who makes me unhappy.
No one will ever be able to hurt us without our permission. Get rid of our fear of failure, our tensions and just relax. We step outside of ourselves and look at depression, anxiety and fear and don't identify with them. Then we're not troubled. We're anxious but we're not troubled.
Enjoy our problem? Yes, we can enjoy our problem because it will be no longer be our problem when we change our false beliefs in life. When we become mature people, then life is not the problem to be solved but the mystery to be celebrated.