Rossmoor End of Life Concerns Club

Moon-setting, Cannon Beach, Oregon By Marley Middlebrook

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

President’s Musings

December 2025

I confess that I’m a materialist. My daughter is not. I admit to having an emotional connection to some of the objects I own: my vintage fountain pen collection, the art on the walls of my apartment, some of my clothing, and even my car. It’s all the impermanence that’s beginning to bother me. I’m thinking about what will happen to all my stuff when I am gone. Many of us have had adult children who did not want the family china, dad’s ties, or mom’s costume jewelry. It could be about beloved books. What do you do with books that you’ve read more than once because you loved them so much, and why after donating 150 books do the shelves just keep filling up again? Which leads me to the main issue this month: even though we don’t know how much longer we will be around to enjoy our possessions, why do we keep accumulating more? Is there a magic number of months or years of life which for you would be the absolute cutoff when it comes to considering a significant purchase? 

This is one of the things I consider when I’m tempted to indulge in purchasing something new that I am likely to become emotionally attached to. Case in point: on a recent trip to Yosemite’s Ansel Adams Gallery, Bess and I were smitten by an etching of two magpies created by a local artist. Unlike some of the Ansel Adams prints, this etching was not outrageously expensive but was pricey enough to think more than twice about buying. However, we were delighted to take it home and then to the framer where we learned that the framing job would cost more than the cost of the picture. Someday, soon after I die, my daughter will visit my empty apartment, look at my artworks, and consider the fate of the stuff that meant so much to me. Why should I worry? After I’m gone, whatever sentimental or emotional attachment I’ve had to my stuff will become meaningless. I’m working on accepting this fact of life.

On behalf of the EOLCC Board of Directors, I thank you for your support and wish you a warm and fulfilling holiday season and a healthy 2026!

Jim Greenberg, President EOLCC

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

CLUB PRESIDENT JIM GREENBERG AND BESS CHOSAK, DEATH CAFE CO-FACILiTATORS

The Rossmoor Death Café will meet on Friday, December 12, 3:30-5 PM in the Vista Room at the Hillside Clubhouse.

Though not a grief support or therapy group, our Death Café offers a safe place for participants to bring up such end-of-life issues as Advanced Healthcare Directives, how to talk about final plans and wishes with your family, and other late life concerns.

Thank you to those who attended November's Death Café. Here is the poem recited by Richard:

TRUE COLORS

As trees prepare for winter

  fall colors pour 

  into my eyes

Lush true colors 

  long hidden under green

  call to my soul

Soft voices of colors 

  blown on the wind say

 “Remember me, I’ll soon be gone.”

As I approach my own certain winter

  what colors long hidden

  will I reveal 

Can I be like the leaves

  radiantly shine for a time

  then quietly fall away

Why not?

      ​With permission of author, Doug von Koss

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

January Film: DEPARTURE

MONDAY JANUARY 15, 1 PM, Peacock Theater, Gateway

Departure is based on an autobiographical book by Aoki Shinmon and features Masahiro Motoki as Diago Kobayashi, a cellist.

Soon after buying an expensive cello, Daigo Kobayashi (Masahiro Motoki) learns that his orchestra is disbanding. Daigo and his wife move back to his hometown in northern Japan, where he answers an ad for what he thinks is a travel agency but is, in actuality, a mortuary. As he learns and carries out the rituals used in preparing the dead for their final rest, Daigo finds his true calling in life.

(No film or Program in December)

Bill Patten, Film Chair

RICHARD NAEGLE, VICE PRESIDENT AND TREASURER

SPECIAL EVENT 

free for Club Members!

Wednesday, January 7, 1-3 pm

Club Room at Creekside

POETRY FOR LIFE

Many participants in the monthly Death Cafe have enjoyed the evocative poems that begin each session. Carefully curated and then spoken from the heart, these poems have addressed our concerns and aspirations as we seek to fulfill and culminate our lives. 

There will be an afternoon of such poetry on Wednesday, January 7, in the Creekside Club Room—free to Club members, $10 admission for all others. Come and bathe in the beauty of soulful words and images which support and inspire you on your journey. Invite friends to share the experience! Audience response and dialogue will be encouraged to deepen meaning and involvement. Bring your journal, writing and/or art materials to record your feelings and responses. 

Not an ordinary event….



Prescription for the Disillusioned

by Rebecca del Rio

Come new to this

day. Remove the rigid

overcoat of experience,

the notion of knowing,

the beliefs that cloud

your vision.

Leave behind the stories

of your life. Spit out the

sour taste of unmet expectation.

Let the stale scent of what-ifs

waft back into the swamp

of your useless fears.

Arrive curious, without the armor

of certainty, the plans and planned

results of the life you’ve imagined.

Live the life that chooses you, new with 

every breath, with every blink of

your astonished eyes.

For more information, call Richard Naegle, 1-707-887-1685

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Club Website, Please Visit!

 https://www.rossmooreolcc.org/

Additionally, the Rossmoor End of Life Concerns Club is building a library of books relevant to our educational mission. We are in the process of developing a set of extra benefits of club membership, one of which will be the privilege of borrowing books from our collection. Here are a few examples of books to be offered in the near future.

*******************************************************************************

MARLEY MIDDLEBROOK, MEMBERSHIP

 ROSSMOOR END OF LIFE CONCERNS CLUB    

RENEWAL TIME FOR 2026

Your Membership dues help pay for room rental, literature, speaker programs, website and movie rentals. We are now accepting membership renewals for the year of 2026 at $20. (Thank you to the 51 members who renewed over the last month.)

As a reminder, we offer Death Cafe, (next gathering on 12/12/25) Programs related to issues of concern such as Health Care Directives, POLST’s, MAID (CA law for Medical Aid in Dying), Films related to this issue and a monthly Newsletter. 

Please make check payable to EOLCC. Options for renewal include: dropping off the checks at the Gateway mail slot, bringing them to the Death Cafe scheduled on December 12, or sending them by postal mail to the Membership chair at the following address:

ELOCC Membership, Attention:     or call Marley (925) 385-0336

Marley Middlebrook marleypsyd@me.com      

5954 Autumnwood Dr, 2A

Walnut Creek, CA 94595

Thank you,

Marley Middlebrook

marleypsyd@me.com or (925) 385-0336

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Jim Greenberg, President

endoflifeconcerns@gmail.com

(412) 736-2317