We often forget how closely allyship is intertwined with good communication skills that relay respect. When we debrief instances of microaggressions or bias with each other or with our learners, it is critical to ensure optimal listening techniques.
Here are some guidelines for good active listening that can help build relationships with others:
Withholding judgment: Listening in order to process and understand, not to interrupt or to determine your next point/action. It helps to mindfully pause (physically or verbally) to make sure you are suspending judgment or your own preconceived notions before walking into a conversation.
Reflecting: It takes time and practice to understand and process words that reveal the impact of bias; it also involves de-centering your perceptions/experiences and re-centering on those of another individual.
Clarifying: Asking questions to elicit more perspective about an experience of another person, only if this is appropriate and does not lead to harmful triggering or re-traumatization.
Summarizing: Using our own words to show an individual that we value them, hear them and trust them to correct inaccuracies in our perception of their words.
Sharing: Offering support, resources, and options for following up on how they're doing.
Try to be intentional with active listening in other venues as well; let's see what happens!
