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The Power of Presence
“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.”
John 15:12
Serving on the St. Martin’s Pastoral Care team is a joy. Each week, we review in detail those in our Parish family who are ill and suffering, whether they are in the hospital, a designated care facility or at home. Pastoral care is the most important work we do as Clergy and Staff outside of worship.
Before I was ordained, I worked as a school counselor, specifically with students who were troubled in some way – depressed, anxious, angry, confused … That was many years ago and I often consider the multitude of new challenges that students and adults face in our culture of 24-hour news cycles, social media and more. We are also becoming an increasingly isolated society, with many folks withdrawing from any social contact, particularly during difficult times.
Regarding pastoral care, I keep the words of Jesus in my heart and mind when He said, “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” Those words do not mean we have easy answers or platitudes for those suffering. Jesus tells us to love one another and that doesn’t need to be complicated, it simply needs to come from the heart. Indeed, Jesus’ very presence was healing to so many, it was powerful all on its own.
When we offer ourselves – our presence to those who are hurting – we do more than we realize. The quality that makes spiritual care genuine is engaged listening. It’s about learning to listen to what’s going on with another person rather than walking in and feeling like you’ve got to do all the talking. It’s joining the other where they are, in their path and finding how God’s spirit comes into that.
I often reread this quote from Henri Nouwen to remind myself of the real meaning of pastoral care:
“When we honestly ask ourselves which persons in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not-knowing, not-curing, not-healing, and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is the friend who cares.”
May we follow His commandment to love one another by simply being present for our brothers and sisters in Christ. The greatest gift we can give is ourselves.
* Henri Nouwen, “Out of Solitude: Three Meditations on the Christian Life”
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