December 2024, Issue 45

Elgrie with his daughter at Mavs game

End of Year Reflection


Elgrie J. Hurd

And just like that it is the end of 2024. Man, where did it go??? For this year, we get 366 days. And for most of those 366 days, Alex has been pushing us to push ahead. Why? Because Alex wants us to meet our future. Alex wants us to be able to tap into the idea of possibilities of dreaming again. Dreams that were taken away, or that we thought were taken away because of our diagnosis or because of our cancer journey. And we're challenged to dream again. We're challenged to not let our past dictate what the future brings. And that's hard!!! That's hard when people tell you that you've only got months to live. That's hard when people tell you that you'll never be able to do certain activities again. That's hard when even though you have a diagnosis, you don't have a clear sense of treatment. So how do you move forward? One thought at a time...One step at a time…One day at a time.

We are asked to push ahead because Alex is asking us not to hide from our journey. We're not asked to push ahead because she's asking us to ignore our pain, or our swirl of emotions. She's asking us to push ahead because pushing ahead gives you hope. And we can't predict a lot of things in our cancer journey. But with a little bit of hope, there's a lot of potential about what we can do. So, for the remainder of 2024 and as you walk into 2025, push ahead. This year has given Dallas YACS new faces and new stories…and lots of apples and sandwiches. We are asked to not let our cancer stories turn into a cancer story of competition in the Olympics because that's not the purpose of Dallas YACS. We have to remember not to silence our own story for the sake of others. We have to consider that by silencing our stories, we are fostering the red (traffic) light when it comes to people sharing their own stories. We have to recognize that everyone's story deserves to be heard; deserves to be validated. Whether you went through treatment, you didn't go through treatment…Whether you went through multiple stages of cancer or whether you went through one, your story has forever changed you and that's OK. So, for me, I've gotten to see so many new faces in 2024 because of Dallas YACS…They have come to our small group chats, and they have come from people going to different outings. And it's been great to say hello to the new faces. It's also been a little tough to say goodbye to some of the familiar faces. It's OK to recognize that as people cycle out, if they get the cycle out on their own terms, that's a win. And although we might miss their presence, we should try to find a way to celebrate them having some say in shaping their destiny with cancer.

For me, I have been privileged to have the opportunity to walk with so many people who are survivors and have overcome way more than they're ever getting themselves credit for. For me, I'm grateful for the opportunity to walk towards becoming whole again (or however close I can get). Rather than ignoring a piece of my life, no matter how small it was timewise, I’m embracing the impact that is everlasting. Reflecting on that piece of life…Sharing that piece of life and becoming whole. For many years, most of my story that related to cancer hadn't been dealt with. And it's too bad because everything after cancer and everything before cancer…and everything during cancer is part of my journey. And for the first time in a long time, I'm here for it!


We have no idea what 2025 is going to do for us. We have no idea of the different valleys and peaks that are coming our way. Soon enough, January 1st will be here. A new calendar year will begin. We're not here to get you to create bucket lists or New Year's resolutions. We are just here to encourage you to do the same thing for 2025 that you did for 2024. If you have the bandwidth, see if there's any ability to enhance what you did in 2024. Whether you enhance what you did or whether you maintain your version of status quo...Do it one thought at a time...One step at a time…One day at a time!


On behalf of all the individuals who serve on the Dallas YACS Planning Committee and Newsletter Committee, we want to thank all who read this newsletter. Thank you for giving us motivation to write, to encourage, to learn from each other, and to empower. For those who did not make it to this point in the year…while physically there they may be gone, their memories are with us. Thus, so is their story. And we hope that all of us have moments where we can pay it forward in telling not just our story but tell how someone else's story impacted us. And just maybe there’s the chance that our story will impact someone else. Kind of a cheesy way to end the year. I also recognize it is the takeaway I've gotten from being part of Dallas YACS. Peace!

 

Fall Camping with Friends


Katy Yost

What better way to welcome fall than a good ole camping trip in the great outdoors. A dozen or so DYACS members spent a wonderful weekend at Lake Mineral Wells State Park. Friday night I was told was a chilly one as everyone added their layers, made their campsites and did the best they could to stay dry (one camping trip there will be no rain!). Chefs Monica and Alex prepared a delicious breakfast and awaited the other daytime participants for a session of yoga in nature. Yoga outside is such a truly special experience. Hearing the sounds of nature (even our two lovely pet friends :)), feeling the temperate change and the sun warming us from the brisk morning.


Before afternoon activities, everyone picnicked for lunch. Several of us then went and set up our campsite across the lake from those staying in the shelter. There were various hikes to take and several even kayaked. From the state park gift shop, many of us had an afternoon pre-dinner ice cream. We all took part in dinner prep from chopping up fajitas veggies, warming tortillas and grilling the meat, it was a group effort resulting in a very tasty meal with friends! To conclude the evening, we spent time around the “campfire” and were able to do a exercise of releasing some of our experiences into the flames and more treats of s’mores and savory s’mores (a must try for anyone wondering!). No better way to wrap the weekend than a breakfast feast of cinnamon rolls and breakfast tacos! 


I personally find so much healing camping and being in nature. You truly can disconnect (because let’s face it most of the time you don’t have cell service). You can share company and memories with new friends. Learn a new skill like how to set of your own tent. And just enjoy taking things a little slower for a change. Thanks so much to Alex and Monica and Della for all the hard work preparing us for a wonderful weekend.  



Nathan's Joke:


What do you call a beehive without an exit?


*Answer is at the end

Slice of Life


How Extraordinary the Ordinary Can Be!

Roberto Cowan


I'm recently 5 years NED, almost 6 years from DX. Treatment was tough, but there was a roadmap. Survivorship is less guided, which is why, no matter how much I've been involved lately, I love that Dallas YACS (and Tia) are there for me. 

Share your Slice of Life with us! Send photos and write-ups to

Alex Huffman.

Upcoming Events

Saturday, December 14th from 3-5pm- YACS Holiday Party at Bowlski's. Ugly sweaters encouraged. RSVP to Alex!



Tuesday, December 17th, 6pm- YACS Yoga at the Cancer Center


Tuesday, December 17th, 7pm- In-person support group meeting at the Cancer Center

RSVP

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Alex's Meditation Moment

In group last month, we introduced the concept of having multiplicity in our minds- not multiple personalities! Sometimes referred to as the “the multiplicity phenomenon”, the idea is that we humans naturally have “parts” that serve specific functions in our internal worlds. These parts are either vulnerable or protective, and they seek to keep us safe. When we can get calm, curious, and compassionate about our parts, we can lead the parts with our core self. For example, an angry part of you may sometimes take over and make you say things you regret. However, if you were to focus on the story of that anger and ask it some questions, you would learn that there’s fear and hurt bundled up with it. Anger took the lead for the more vulnerable parts of fear and hurt.


Our parts contain qualities and resources that help us in our lives; however, after a cancer diagnosis and treatment, our parts can be frozen in roles that we don’t need them to be anymore. They can hold us back from connecting with our future self. While there are no bad parts, some can feel heavier to carry than others. That’s when we need to access our core self where we can find wisdom and space to heal. We heal in the present so that we can see a whole version of our future selves.  This month’s meditation uses the analogy of a path to take a journey with our parts using our core self as the trail guide! Since we just went on our recent camping trip, I thought the visual would be accessible to some of you. 

Find a comfortable position and arrive in it with a few deep breaths.

In your mind's eye, put yourself at the base of a path. It could be one you've already been on, or it could be a path that's totally new to you. At the base of the path, you meet your parts. Ask them if they'd be willing to wait there at the base for you so that you can go on this brief journey by yourself. Just notice how they react to that idea. You could try to see if those who are afraid could be comforted by those who are not. Let them know that you won't be gone long, and this would be good for them- and for you. They don't have to let you do it if they're not ready to, and sometimes it just depends on the day. Some days they're okay with it, and some days they're not up for it. If they're not up for it and don't want to do it, you can spend the time just getting to know them and their fears about letting you try this.


If they are up for it then, go ahead and head out on the path, reminding them that you will be back soon. Just notice what's happening as you continue on the path. In particular if you're thinking about anything at all. Maybe you are thinking there's still some parts with you, and you can see if they also would be willing to separate and go back with the others. And if not, what's their fear? You can also scan your body for anything that doesn't feel quite like you, your core Self. If you find anything that also is likely to be a part, you can ask it also to return to the base. If they're willing to, then you'll gradually notice these shifts toward more and more self-energy. If they're not willing to, that's fine. You can just spend the time getting to know their fears.


If at any point you find yourself watching yourself taking this journey, then it means there's a part trying to do it for you, because who is it that's watching? So if that’s true, you can ask that part to go to the base too. So that you're on the path, you don't see yourself. You see your surroundings, but you are just on the path.


If your parts are really trusting and they're letting you do this, by now you should be experiencing some of those qualities we’ve been talking about, in the absence of thought - spaciousness, present centeredness, sense of well-being, being in your body, confidence, clarity, connectedness.

You may also notice a vibrating energy running through your body- we will call that self-energy. Invite it to fill and run through your body. Pause, and take in this experience. Just notice what it's like to be in this much of your core self. Notice how you can tell that's where you are. It's important to remember these markers, so that as you go through your day, you can tell how much you is here or if your parts are running things again.


Try checking how open your heart is, if you have some kind of big agenda. If you’re overthinking, maybe you feel pressure in your shoulders and in your forehead, where the parts hang out. Touch any of those parts, and ask them to relax and to trust you.


Now, it’s time for you to head back toward the base at whatever pace feels right. When you get back to your parts, just see how they react to your return. Thank them for whatever degree they took this risk and let you do this. Ask them what it's been like to let you do this, and whether or not they'd be up for letting you try it again sometime.



Remind your parts that the you who is with them now- your core self- can help them, and that your goal is to earn their trust. If any of them haven't trusted you for reasons, you're open to knowing about that and to making repair. If you're still holding any of the tingling self-energy, you can extend it to them. You'll find that you can actually direct it to parts and to people, and it's a very healing energy. If you're able to do that, just notice how your parts react.


When all that feels complete, the time feels right, thank them for whatever they allowed, and begin shifting your focus back outside. See how possible it is to hold some of your felt sense of your core self even as you open your eyes and come back. 

Sam's Writing Prompt


As the holidays approach, take a moment to reflect on gratitude. What is something—big or small—that has brought you comfort or joy during your cancer journey? How has your perspective on gratitude changed through your experience, and how do you plan to carry it into tomorrow and the season ahead?

Dr. Samantha (Sam) Dean is a metastatic melanoma survivor and former patient at UTSW. She graduated from the University of Missouri with a BA in English in 2012 and went straight into working with college students facing academic dismissal. She used her writing & speaking skills to mentor these students in asking questions, composing professional emails, using resources available to them, etc. Sam went on to receive an M.B.A. with a focus on both Sustainable Business and Marketing, then a Ph.D. in Public Policy & Political Economy. While working her way up in academia and getting all these fancy letters behind her name, Sam was doing freelance writing work. It wasn’t until after her melanoma diagnosis in 2020 that she decided to use all these skills to cope. She started freeform writing about what it felt like trying to survive as a 30-year-old woman in a male-dominated world while literally trying to survive. Since going into remission in May 2021, Sam has quit working full-time in academic administration. She now owns a full-service marketing agency, has authored a guided journal for cancer patients and survivors, published a children’s book, and teaches cancer survivors and teenagers how to express themselves through writing, whether via poetry, journaling, or creating a bomb resume to switch careers. When Sam isn’t working (which is hard to imagine because she has too many jobs), you can find her snuggling with her dogs, spending time with her nephews, or reading what she will undoubtedly claim is the next Great American Novel. 

Cooking with Chris!


Christmas Tree Salad


Happy December, Dallas YACS! I hope you guys have a great holiday, and a happy New Year. This month, I'm featuring a Christmas tree salad. It is very pretty and festive for your holiday get-together.

Ingredients:

  • 1 head of Romaine lettuce
  • 1 package cherry tomatoes
  • 1 package of crumbled blue cheese or feta cheese
  • 1 avocado
  • 1 slice of cheddar or American cheese (for your tree topper)



Directions:

  • Cut the bottom stem of the head of Romaine to separate all of the leaves.
  • Rinse and spread the leaves on a platter in a tree formation, starting with the bigger leaves on the bottom and smaller leaves toward the top.
  • In the gaps of the Romaine leaves, add in your cherry tomatoes to resemble ornaments.
  • Dice your avocado, and add that around the leaves.
  • Finally, finish filling in the the leaves with crumbled blue or feta cheese.
  • Cut your slice of cheddar or American cheese into a star, and place it at the top.
  • Enjoy!


Joke Answer


...Unbeelievable!

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