Log Entry: May 23 Sixteen Seconds
For practice, I was flying around the vacant office space in our building feeling pretty good, by my low personal standards, and feeling very much like a light-footed dancer-you know doing the knee dips and stuff and wiggling my hips when I really got into it, when I noticed a sound. I turned around and that was when I realized I was still alone, but my fingers were snapping to the music in my head.
Oh, my, gosh! I was turning into a GQ kind of guy right before my eyes! Could it be that I was actually enjoying this stuff? Nah. Just a fleeting moment and the fear returned anew. That shark may have pretty teeth, Babe, and he may keep them pearly white, but this whole process was getting out of hand, particularly later that same day when my professional dance instructor told me I did (and I'm quoting here) "An awesome job."
That's right: when it comes to finger snapping to Mack the Knife I have what it takes. Whether I can dance to the song is another matter, but I am ready TO-DAY to snap my fingers for two minutes and 16 seconds if I have to. (In response to numerous inquiries: no, I am not wearing one of those cute little vests and I am NOT waxing my chest).
You may be saying "everything seems to be coming so naturally to you, Ed" but you would be wrong. Finger snapping —A, Fedora management =C. That's right, I start the dance with a fedora (that's a hat) in my hands and I have to put it on my head WHILE I'M STRUTTING.
This is a basic variation of the 'walk and chew gum at the same time' theme we are all familiar with. I have to strut and twirl a fedora at the same time. You don't want to know how many times it takes to get this one right. Thursday, I will show my professional instructor that I have the steps, the finger snaps, and the timing down to move on to the next part of the choreography.
I'm pretty sure, but not certain that when I stride triumphantly into the Arthur Murray studio in Natick for my next lesson, I WILL have memorized all 16 seconds of the routine. That's right: to this point, all I have rehearsed and worked on is the first 16 seconds of the routine. I am a master at the first sixteen seconds of Mack the Knife, but how I am ever going to learn the remaining two minutes of this dance is anyone's guess.
Less than two weeks to go to learn two minutes of dance routine. Can I do it? Let' see, with two double lessons this week and two triple lessons next week-it is going to be close. But, if I'm already up to twinkle steps, then the sky's the limit for me. (Yes, twinkle steps is a real term).
I know I will be on that stage with the lights shining in my face, very much hoping not to wet my pants. I still have several practices to go, and I had better pick up the pace. I finally have the fedora flipping down and my son observed a practice last week and indicated that I was better than he thought I would be, but this close to Father's Day he's not likely to be slamming me.
I have put those earbuds in everyday and danced by myself mastering those 16 seconds: in my driveway, , the basement, the kitchen, the bottom floor of the parking garage at Post Office Square and on the steps of the State House. I play the song Mack the Knife pretty much non-stop in the car visualizing each of the steps. I know this much at this time, I might be bad, but I'm not terrible and in fact, I may be proudly mediocre at this point.
My Mom was a great ballroom dancer and has encouraged me. She believes I have the genes to do this. After today's lesson I will know more about how much work I have to put in and how many of the most critically needed genes I might have. I'm thinking maybe bungee jumping would've been a better choice for whatever mid-life crisis I'm living out on this one.
I am still learning. I was a little surprised today when I learned that I can't walk backwards and wiggle well enough to include such a show stopping step into the routine. It has been replaced by walking backwards and basically bumping butts with my partner. And while I have no formal training and we practiced very little, apparently I am a good butt bumper naturally.
I also learned that even though the likelihood that I will drop my partner at the grand finale when she falls over my bent leg on her back is slim, she is still nervous. That's her problem. I'm nervous about the whole damn dance, she can be nervous about the last two seconds.
I also learned that I need to develop an 'attitude' and 'ham it up.' I'm just not "Mack the Knife' yet. This could be the hard part. In machine like fashion and with hard work, I guess I always knew I could memorize the steps. If you can memorize all those formulas for Algebra you can memorize dance steps.
I guess I also always knew that I would eventually find the courage to get on the stage, because I have a lot of experience being afraid in front of a crowd and I have always managed to face the audience. I'm just not sure I can get an "attitude" I don't have.
