First, it's important to determine if you're more comfortable dating another introvert or going out with extraverts. The dividing line seems to be: (1) Are you looking for someone who will bring a social life to you, or (2) someone who will hunker down at home with you? Once you answer this question (or if you don't know yet and would like to figure out what works for you), here are some places (attended by both extroverts and introverts) you can go to comfortably to meet potential dates. (1) Take a class in something you're already interested in or would like to learn more about. For example:
- Music appreciation
- Chess
- Tae Kwon Do
- Learn a language
- Cooking
When you meet people there, you'll automatically have this interest in common. This gives you ready-made things to talk about (why did you take this class, please pass the salt, merci). (2) Participate in a club or activity you're already interested in or would like to learn more about, such as:
- A book club
- A ski club
- A meet-up group (for playing cards, going to the movies, board games, etc.)
I chatted with a single woman recently who had a Disneyland season pass. She was part of a meet-up group that included other singles with season passes. When members wanted to go to Disneyland, they would post it in the meet-up group and she said usually there would be 3-4 people (both men and women) who wanted to go on the same day. What a great way to meet new people in a very public place. (3) Volunteer for organizations you care about such as:
- Animals
- Homeless
- Red Cross
- Local museum or charity
When you're involved in giving back, it's easier to find common things to talk about and to stop worrying about yourself. (4) Use an online dating website:
- This gives you, the introvert, plenty of time to think about what you want to say.
- You can ask people questions through the website so you'll feel more comfortable deciding if you want to meet them.
- If you decide to meet them, you'll already know something about them and this makes it easier to have conversations.
- In general, I advocate getting out of the house to meet people. However, online dating does give introverts a jump start because they can initially meet new people without leaving home.
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