The Perfect Catch
Are you an introvert trying to enter the dating world?
Christine Baumgartner, dating and relationship coach, has helped hundreds of individuals and couples successfully through their dating and relationship processes. She is an expert at listening to who you are and then using that knowledge to help you explore your dating and relationship needs.
Want to read more about introverts and extraverts?
If you want to learn more about how introversion and extraversion work in a relationship, I highly recommend Opposites Attract by Renee Baron. It's based on  Myers-Briggs personality typing. Not only is it easy to read, it's also filled with cartoons and humorous quotes.

Just for fun, a wise quote from the book:
Extraverts... cannot understand life until they have lived it. Introverts... cannot live life until they understand it.  ~ Isabel Briggs Meyer
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Take the first step toward achieving your dream of a happy and fulfilling romantic relationship! Fill out my questionnaire What's Holding You Back From Love, and then let's talk.

Do you go to a friend's party and stand in the corner and wish you knew what to say? Do you see someone who looks interesting, but then get all tongue tied? Do you wonder if you'll ever meet someone you're comfortable talking to? 

For those of you who are introverts, I'm sure dating can look like a "sea filled with extraverts."  

Your helpful friends (who are probably extraverts) may be saying, "just go out and meet people."  

But you're probably thinking there are lots of other things you'd rather do than "just go out." (Root canal anyone?)

Here's what I've learned from my own experience of dating introverts.

Introverts are really great people to date.

  • They truly listen when you talk.
  • They ask insightful questions and then actually listen to your answers.
  • When they do talk, they have interesting things to say.
  • They don't want to chit chat for long periods of time because they would rather have a conversation with substance.

As an extrovert, I found I liked all of these traits a lot!

If you're an introvert who's ready to date, there are a few things to consider.

First, it's important to determine if you're more comfortable dating another introvert or going out with extraverts.  

The dividing line seems to be: (1) Are you looking for someone who will bring a social life to you, or (2) someone who will hunker down at home with you?

Once you answer this question (or if you don't know yet and would like to figure out what works for you), here are some places (attended by both extroverts and introverts) you can go to comfortably to meet potential dates.

(1) Take a class in something you're already interested in or would like to learn more about. For example:

  • Music appreciation
  • Chess
  • Tae Kwon Do
  • Learn a language
  • Cooking

When you meet people there, you'll automatically have this interest in common. This gives you ready-made things to talk about (why did you take this class, please pass the salt, merci).

(2) Participate in a club or activity you're already interested in or would like to learn more about, such as:

  • A book club
  • A ski club
  • A meet-up group (for playing cards, going to the movies, board games, etc.)

I chatted with a single woman recently who had a Disneyland season pass. She was part of a meet-up group that included other singles with season passes. When members wanted to go to Disneyland, they would post it in the meet-up group and she said usually there would be 3-4 people (both men and women) who wanted to go on the same day. What a great way to meet new people in a very public place.

(3) Volunteer for organizations you care about such as: 

  • Animals
  • Homeless
  • Red Cross
  • Local museum or charity

When you're involved in giving back, it's easier to find common things to talk about and to stop worrying about yourself.

(4) Use an online dating website:

  • This gives you, the introvert, plenty of time to think about what you want to say.
  • You can ask people questions through the website so you'll feel more comfortable deciding if you want to meet them.
  • If you decide to meet them, you'll already know something about them and this makes it easier to have conversations.
  • In general, I advocate getting out of the house to meet people. However, online dating does give introverts a jump start because they can initially meet new people without leaving home.
So, all you introverts... I hope you can tell by now that you don't have to pretend to be an extravert to date successfully.

Give some of these ideas a try, and let me know which tips work for you. If you get stuck somewhere in the process, contact me so we can navigate the world of introverted dating together.  

I've coached both introverts and extroverts, and have found they have many common desires. Both types want to meet someone nice who will treat them well - someone they'll enjoy spending time with and who could potentially be a life partner.

The Perfect Catch | 714-290-6166 | |