Dear L+D . . . "The One About Crying at Work"

Dear L + D,

I need some help. I am the principal of a K-8 school and was recently at a staff PD day that was being facilitated by an outside trainer. He had us doing some deep reflective work and I was totally caught off guard and started crying, right there in the middle of the meeting. I can't be certain, but I'm pretty sure I looked a little like James Van Der Beek when Dawson got his heart broken:

As I quickly wiped away my tears and tried to hide in the corner, I heard a teacher ask his neighbor, "Why is water coming out of her face?" The school counselor offered for me to take a time out in her office, and while the bean bag chairs and M&Ms in there were tempting, I felt paralyzed. What should I have done, and will I ever rebound from this?

Yours Truly,

Mortified

Dear Mortified,

We have some very good news for you that we hope will bring you comfort: you're human. Our hunch is that at least some of your staff knows that, too, and appreciates your vulnerability. We'd recommend checking out the work of Brené Brown, who has a lot of encouraging things to say about bringing your human self with you to work, and creating a culture where daring, vulnerable leadership is welcomed. In Dare to Lead , she writes about striving toward integration and accepting all parts of yourself: "We are all tough and tender, scared and brave, grace and grit." No one wants to cry in front of their staff; in the grand list of workplace experiences, that's right up there with having incurable hiccups during a speech to parents or barfing at morning meeting in terms of desirability. But we're willing to bet the many of your staff are feeling compassion for you, rather than judgment.

In the spirit of leaning into vulnerability and cultivating compassion for yourself, you might also think about joining us at one of our workshops below, which regardless of the topic are always deeply human experiences. And don't hesitate to take a 30-minute turn in the bean bag chair, wolfing down chocolate.

Sincerely,

L+D

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