Dear L + D,
I just read the article you published a couple of weeks ago about Joy . It was great, and I went out into my school with a whole new attitude. Yeah it is February in New Jersey, and yeah it is 23 degrees and raining (how is that even possible?), but I was determined to both find and create some joy. I am the principal after all. Then…

  • The copy machine broke at 7:43 a.m. on a Wednesday and Mrs. Henry, a Kindergarten teacher with 30 years experience, looked me dead in the face, and threatened my life. I mean she didn’t say anything out loud, but I interpreted her look as a credible threat. Also, there was a 4th grade teacher in his first year teaching that walked in and when he saw it was broken, he just burst into tears. I asked him what was wrong, but I couldn’t understand what he was saying through all the loud crying.   
  • A parent parked in the fire lane and attempted to walk their 2nd grader to breakfast because she didn’t trust the whole system the school had set-up for dropping children off in the morning. Also, there was a lot of traffic back there, she explained.   
  • I met with an angry mob of students that doesn’t believe the snack shack has been organized in its effort to sell Snickers Bars, and they were demanding an explanation.   
  • And...due to the freezing rain conditions, we sheltered in place for 72 minutes to avoid people walking on the sidewalks until they had been properly de-iced.   

After all that, I opened my email. Feedback is a gift...Feedback is a gift...Feedback is a gift...Feedback is a gift...this is the mantra I am saying, but I find myself hoping I have a dentist appointment soon. Is this normal for those of us seeking a little joy in school life?

Yours,
February Principal
Dear February Principal: 

First of all, when the copy machine goes down at 7:43 am on a Wednesday in February, you take cover. I mean, you immediately go to the dentist. Good advice for next time. Second, we commend you for seeking to create and find joy. This is more than we can say for many. You see, February is not just cold and flu season, there is another malady that we see in schools all over the country and finding the proper diagnosis can sometimes be tricky. We call it Adult Seriousness Disorder or in your millenial faculty, staff or students, Early Onset Adult Seriousness Disorder . I think we can all agree that there is nothing more sad than a young child afflicted with this debilitating condition.

Symptoms include:   
  • complaining about food prepared, served and cleaned by someone else
  • rolling of eyes at any sign of fun
  • giving homework the night before break 
  • asking for information in email instead of in a meeting and then not reading the email and crafting an email asking for the information that is in the email that was not read
  • adding a dress code conversation to the agenda of meetings
  • a sudden desire to discuss how to make 8th graders more responsible, knowledgeable and less interested in talking to their friends
  • taking a stand against student tardiness, gum chewing, or pontificating about the good old days when students worked hard.    

School leaders, teachers, parents, really adults in general are prone to this condition, and there really are only two ways to cure it.   

Human Connection:  What shows up as excessive seriousness or even grumpiness is often a cry for human connection. How might we do a better job of connecting people who work in our schools in authentic ways? 
Joy:  As you said above, create it, find it, celebrate it.   

At L+D, we try and build human connection into everything we do, and we often find that those human connections kick-off enough joy to power right through any February. If you want a little taste of that, check out what we have in the hopper, and please remember that in the future, if the copy machine goes down right before school on Wednesday in February, that is the correct moment to shelter in place.  
Do you have a question or dilemma for Dear L+D? Send it to [email protected]
Dear Readers:  It always takes courage to step up and lead and it takes courage to explore our own behaviors, narratives, practices, and decisions that may hold us back from doing our best work. L+D offers programs for school leaders at all points in their careers and in all roles in schools. Many of our programs allow participants to look critically and intentionally at the way they impact and influence and to explore ways to be more effective and human.
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