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Dealing with death absorbs us, slows us down, wakes us up, numbs us.
Yesterday morning I realized that I hadn’t written an e-note since shortly after my sister died.
That was three months ago.
Since then millions of people have died.
Whatever the cause – Covid, war, personal violence, inequities – the loss is real.
Families are grieving in India, Yemen, Afghanistan, Atlanta, Minneapolis, Indianapolis, New Haven.
Buddhists have a tradition to honor the ancestors and console the bereaved on the 49th day after a death. Last night I zoomed in to join a memorial honoring the Asian women killed in the Atlanta spa shootings. When I saw the photo of 63-year old Yong Ae Yue and her two sons, Robert and William, I knew I had to write my e-note.
I joined the Zoom memorial event to honor all who have died violent deaths because of their skin color or religion or way of life: 

Yong Ae Yue and the five other Asian women at the Atlanta spas,
Emmett Till, age 14; Daunte Wright, 19 years old, Ahmaud Arbery, 25;
Breonna Taylor, 26;    George Floyd, 46,

Chinese and indigenous killed in Wyoming centuries ago,
Sikhs killed in Indianapolis last month,
Children, women and men on the other side of the world who may be killed today by drones launched in Nevada or by armed BlackHawk helicopters manufactured in my state of Connecticut.
We prayed for the healing of confusion in the minds of the killers and the confusion in each of us.
In our nation, our cities, our hearts, may
patience arise in place of anger
generosity in place of greed
compassion flower from the ground of hatred
and wisdom from the soil of ignorance.
Yesterday was 49 days from the spa killings.
Today 94 days since my sister Mary died, the day before the coup began the killing of her friends in Myanmar.
What do? How honor our ancestors?

A year ago, when my teen-age nephew was curious about Mary’s life, he asked, “What do you do, anyway?” She looked at him and said, Where I am, do what I can..

I think Mary is giving me the same message:
               Where I am, do what I can.
Mil sig
Millie Grenough discovered her own Oasis after a near-death accident shook her out of her fast and furious lifestyle. During her months of recuperation Millie developed the 60-second Oasis Strategies that have helped thousands of people around the world. Millie's Oasis Training Program has graduates throughout the USA and in the Netherlands, Panama, Puerto Rico and New Zealand.. Her books, trainings, international presentations, and coaching have helped people ranging from Casino VPs, US Army Officers and University Deans, to overworked health personnel, prison inmates, and harried parents. 

Millie is an International Coach Federation Professional Coach, a Clinical Instructor in Psychiatry at the Yale University School of Medicine, Licensed Clinical Social Worker and is certified in EMDR-Level II with a specialty in Performance Enhancement. Her trainings are authorized for CCEs by the National Association of Social Workers and the International Coach Federation.
These occasional Oasis e-notes are for you: to offer little sanity tips, stories from life, and simple invitations to make your life healthier and happier. Please let us know if there is a special topic you would like addressed.
©2020 Millie Grenough. All Rights Reserved. Oasis in the Overwhelm™ is a registered trademark.
Written and produced by Millie Grenough.
I invite you to forward this e-note to others. Reprintable when full credit is given.
If you have any questions or comments, or for reprint permission of this newsletter,
please email: millie@milliegrenough.com
www.milliegrenough.com  &  www.oasisintheoverwhelm.com