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December, 2024
Newsletter from The Marriage Education and Resource Center (MERCY)
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We are grateful for each of you. Your dedication to strengthening your and other's marriages and families is a testament to the transformative power of God's love in action.
Because of you, many lives have been renewed and restored.
May this Christmas be filled with joy, gratitude and the warmth of loved ones, as we share the blessings of Christ.
Grace and peace,
Penny and David
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Pursuing and Withdrawing
As we may have shared with you before, in the early years of our marriage, we struggled with withdrawal and pursuing. David would withdraw and I would pursue. I wanted to resolve the issue but the more I pushed, the more he withdrew.
Michael Taylor, one of the counselors we recommend, and someone with whom I often consult, once showed us a video called "Still Face."
It was so powerful in showing how disconnection can feel.
| I asked Michael if he thought these same feelings could occur in adults. He agreed and sent me another video that explains how withdrawal can feel in adults. Of course, we don't react outwardly as the baby, but the same type of feelings goes on inside the person who wants to connect, but the other refuses. The following video shows Dr. Sue Johnson and Dr. Edward Tronick explaining this in more detail. | |
If you would like to know more about the subject of withdrawing and pursuing, along with other danger signs in marriage, we would recommend the following books:
A Lasting Promise by Scott Stanley, Daniel Trathen, Savanna McCain and Milt Bryan.
Created for Connection: The 'Hold Me Tight' Guide for Christian Couples,
by Kenneth Sanderfer and Dr. Sue Johnson.
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Spiritual Intimacy
Is your spiritual intimacy with your spouse where you want it to be? One Extraordinary Marriage recommends praying over your spouse and marriage for 10 days.
Set aside a few minutes, talk with God, and be intentional about this area of your marriage (even if you are doing it alone.)
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Upcoming Marriage Events
There are so many great marriage events coming in 2025, we are devoting the entire bottom section to this information. Keep reading to see what is in store for you.
| Want to Be a Better Spouse? | |
Whether your marriage is good, great or borderline, you can always find ways to be a better husband or wife.
Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott suggest you simply ask your spouse, "What is one thing I can do today to be a better husband/wife?" Then, consider how you can put that into practice. Of course, their request needs to be God-honoring.
You may shy away from asking this because it may be something you don't want to do, or it would be difficult. We get it. However, Paul Tripp. a pastor, international event speaker, and a best-selling and award-winning Christian author, recently mentioned "Often we opt for silence, willingly avoiding issues, not because we love the other person, but because we love ourselves and just don't want to go through the hassle of dealing with it."
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The Holidays are Tough, Especially for Blended Families
As Laura and Jay Laffoon, who have been in marriage ministry for many years and now have a podcast called Marriage Talk, recently acknowledged the unique challenges blended families face during the holiday season. As a result, they interviewed Josh and Kristy Groce who are a blended family on how they navigate traditions, schedules and emotions while keeping the season joyful.
If interested, please click here to listen to this podcast
| What a fun night with lots of laughs at Comedy Night with Shawn Reynolds. | |
Coupletime
Tips for Enhancing Your Marriage
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Earlier this year, we shared with you the following 5 tips for strengthening your marriage; i.e., improve your communication, make time for each other, show appreciation and work together as a team. If applicable, we hope you have worked on these areas.
This month, we want to share with you 5 additional tips.
On a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being the best and 1 being the worst,) how do you think you would rate how you are doing in these areas:
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Resolving Conflict Gracefully - Every couple is going to have disagreements. Have you learned healthy conflict-resolution techniques? Can you compromise and find solutions together without resorting to hostility?
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Prioritizing Intimacy - Do you prioritize emotional closeness, physical intimacy and affection to maintain a strong connection?
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Keeping Romance Alive - Do you keep romance alive by being kind, doing thoughtful gestures, leaving love notes or planning surprises to keep the spark in your relationship?
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Continuing to Grow - Are you growing individually and as a couple? Do you support one another's personal development and encourage their spiritual growth in your relationship? The stronger you grow individually in a relationship with Christ, the stronger your relationship will be as a couple.
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Seek Help When Needed - Don't hesitate to seek professional help with a counselor or mentor. If you need help in a specific area, please let us know and we will do our best to direct you. Contact information: pdhud9@aol.com or (502) 939-0121.
Healthy marriages require work, patience, commitment and seeking and allowing the Lord to help you.
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5 Great Dates
Fridays in January, 2025
First meeting:
January 3,2025
Eastside Christian Church
2319 Veterans Parkway
Jeffersonville, IN 47130
Everything Together, a wonderful marriage ministry, is offering a 5-week marriage workshop designed to help you grow closer to God and closer to each other.
Enjoy fun activities, guided date content and meeting other couples in your community.
Free Event
Note: No childcare is available.
For more information, or to register, click here.
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Grace Marriage
January 11
8:00 AM - 12:00 Noon
or
January 10
1:00 PM - 5:00 PM
Graceland Baptist Church
3600 Kamer Miller Rd.
New Albany, IN 47150
Grace Marriage is a marriage coaching program designed with a proactive plan and path to help marriages grow and experience more grace, gratitude and connection. Through four (4 hour) annual sessions (one per quarter), couples will find the space to be strategic and intentional to grow, connect, have fun, be motivated, and experience a rewarding marriage.
Cost: $150 per couple for the entire year.
Childcare is an option.
For more information or to register, click here.
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Slime Time Date Night -
January 17, 2025
6:00 - 8:00 PM
MERCI Barn
8510 Indiana 111
Memphis, TN
Ben and Crystal Woods with The Brave Way Home are teaming up with MERCI for a date/service night for couples. You will be making slime to help support "Casa Calla," a special project created by Forget Me Not Ministries.
Cost: $20 a couple that goes toward slime supplies, snacks and supporting the Brave Way Home, which is a wonderful ministry.
For more information and/or to sign up, click here
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Valentine Date Night
Saturday, February 8, 2025
6:00 PM - 8:30 PM
MERCI
8510 Indiana 111
Memphis, TN
Join the folks at MERCI Indiana for a night of dinner, games, laughter and practical marriage tips.
Cost: $50 per couple
Don't miss out on this memorable evening.
For more information, or to register, click here
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Growing Your Marriage has some exciting events planned for 2025. For example they will be announcing 2025 Retreats planned at Harvest Heights in January. And they will also be offering some date nights for you. | |
In addition, Growing Your Marriage and MERCY Kentucky will be partnering this year to bring you some great new monthly workshops beginning February, 2025 in LaGrange! More details coming soon.
To keep up-to-date on all these programs, click here.
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