Knowing that you are probably getting an earful of Christmas about now, for the purpose of today's communication let's skip right to the New Year. (BTW - this year Hanukah begins on Christmas Eve so we will skip that as well).
I thought we could spend some time analyzing resolutions. We all make them. We all break them. But, what exactly are they?
To start the analysis I checked my dictionary app on my smart phone. (Indeed it is not me, but my phone, that is smart.) Before you can define resolution you need to define resolve. Resolve: to convert or transform by any process. Leading us to Resolution: the resulting state.
Clearly then a resolution is the result of a conversion of sorts. The typical resolution is to lose weight but as you can see by the definition we have the resolve to lose weight and until the process is complete there is no resolution. I really like this way of looking at it. Because in reality the ultimate goal may not be the actual outcome so, in that context, we more often reposition our goals than actually attain them. It's all about the process...not the result.
Caregivers are determined people. They make commitments and they intend to fulfill them. They make promises and choices that at the time are true intentions. A dear friend and caregiver for his wife with MS said to me the other day, "I promised I would keep her at home. I just don't believe I can give her the care she needs but I made a promise." Things change in the course of our lives. We are never sure what the future holds for us. These changes make it hard to maintain our resolve because we didn't know then what we know now.
I asked my friend if he understood what his and wife's future held when he made the promise. He said he could never have imagined the reality that they are living today. The process has changed the likely result. If he makes a different choice it will be based on factors that were unforeseen and out of his control.
This has been the long way of saying go ahead and make a few resolutions for the New Year. We can all stand for a little improvement. But, remember that the end result will likely change as does the process of our lives. It's not breaking a resolution it is adjusting our resolve!
On that note I'm going to resolve that I will lose weight. Let the transformation begin!
