Decorum

Ideas and tips to get along and get stuff done-------- ------- -March 24, 2025

Decorum is an old-fashioned word about behavior that is controlled, calm, and polite. To act with decorum is to act within norms, to be predictable, and respectful. We ask for decorum in public meetings because it helps enormously with efficiency. When people break rules of procedure it can cause havoc, conflict, and wasted time. I think it's fair and wise to have basic meeting guidelines that we can all count on each other to follow. It helps all voices be heard and it helps us get stuff done.

On the other hand, we have to be careful not to use rules of decorum and civility to "civilize" people; to put people in their place or make them forsake their own ways. Decorum should be used to conduct business efficiently and to air all perspectives, but should not be used to suppress perspectives even when they come from people very different from us, and might make us uncomfortable.

Join me online Wednesday March 26 at 1pm ET

This session will focus on how to maintain respect, civility, and decorum even in the most trying circumstances. I will explain how to set the stage to prevent conflict in the first place. I will discuss how to handle disruption when it happens. We will discuss techniques for both in-person and online. And we hope to touch on how Managers, Administrators, and Superintendents can coach and support their elected officials. Many of the things we discuss will apply to all types of meetings.

While laws and rules (such as Robert’s) will be referenced, this is about the softer side of managing and participating in public meetings. We’re going to talk about the unwritten rules of effective communications and how to build trust. I’m going to share with you my strategies from a career of working with municipal officials and school administrators.

And I’m going to ask you to share YOUR strategies. It’s a Talk Show; we’re gonna talk about this. We’re going to learn from each other. And after the session I will provide each participant with Highlight Notes from what we discussed, including links to resources.

Film Discussion:

I Never Thought of it That Way

Folks, this is Monica Guzman. She's a Bowdoin College graduate and author of the popular book: I Never Thought of it That Way - How to Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Divided Times. She's teamed up with Building Bridges and Braver Angels to bring you a film and a discussion.

Here's the film; an interview really. It's about an hour long.

Join others to discuss the film at 5:30pm ET on Monday, March 24.

Register here for the discussion. It's free although you might make a donation. Monica is pretty great if you get a chance to check out her book or one of her talks.

How to Show Respect

Even when you don’t know someone – wait, especially when you don’t know someone – it works well to show respect. Works with people you know too. Even works with people you don’t like. As a practical matter, when you show respect to someone – whoever they are — you’re more likely to get a positive outcome. And it’s so easy to do. Wonder why we don’t do it more.

What is a show of respect? First, it’s a show. A demonstration. It’s visible, intended to get noticed. It’s something a little out of the ordinary, on purpose. Like holding a door or bowing a head. It’s visibly making an effort.

Continued here, and comments

The Story of America

Just released: A rebooted National Narrative led by Colin Woodard

You may know that I'm a big fan of Colin Woodard and his explanation of why our nation is so divided. He says that we are not a unified nation at all - never have been - but rather we are a hodgepodge of eleven nations each developed by different people from different worlds with different cultures.

Did you know that he's recently been trying to develop a national narrative to unify the nation? He's been trying to find a way to think about ourselves as a country that we can all get behind. Just last week he released his latest research and proposed a set of values that liberals, conservatives, libertarians, environmentalists, socialists, and independents can all agree to. He's conducted boatloads of surveys and social research to understand what Americans today value. In common.

Turns out that the values we share today are the same values in the opening statement of the Declaration of Independence: life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. The study released last week explains what each of these means today.

The report contains an actual one-page narrative (page 8) that seeks to unify the nation. The report was written "for Americans who want to talk about the United States in ways that help unify its people in a period of profound division."

To avoid civil unrest and maybe civil war we've got to look for what we have in common, not what sets us apart. It's not us vs. them, it's just us.

Here's the report

The Story of America: A rebooted civic national narrative for the United States

Here's a video explanation and interview

The Story of America Launch - March 12, 2025

Recent random unsolicited review:

“I just completed Craig Freshley's self-directed Facilitate Meetings Like A Pro eLearning course and highly recommend it for anyone responsible for facilitating outcomes and key decisions. Craig is very people-centric and engaging. I didn't expect to learn as much as I did in this course. I can already tell I will be reusing my notes.”

Please consider treating yourself to this course. Sliding fee. Learn about it here.

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